Going Towards the Light.

So, I almost bit the dust last night.

Yep, instead of walking towards the light

I think it would have been more like fireworks.

I was outside working in the yard and decided to move stuff off of the patio area.

The patio is enclosed with the wooden fence that I put up and inside that area is a couple of chaise lounges,

a big high back bench with an another bench in front of it for a foot rest and several big pots for flowers and a big round metal table with an umbrella and two mesh chairs.

Along the back fence I had been building a raised flowerbed area with cinder blocks, trying to give it a Mod look and then on the back side fence, for the lack of a better space to store it, is my adjustable aluminum ladder.

In the far corner is the dog poop wastebucket. It has a metal lid and next to it is the scoopers.

I also have 2 large and 2 medium hard plastic raised dog beds, that I had stored for the winter, that are now out there too.

Last night I decided that this space was just not working for the dogs.

Since working on my yard, my vision has changed.

I think that it's a much better idea to have the table and chairs out in the yard, away from the dog "stuff"

and although I don't really entertain, if I ever did, I'm sure no one would want to sit in the dog area.

So I was rearranging things.

I have my picnic table out in the yard and I'm working on my potting bench up against the side of the house.

I've taken apart the cinder block project.

That idea wasn't working because the dogs kept jumping into it and "using" it.

I have instead framed that area with the blocks and then laid them on their sides to just form a raised platform for them to lounge on.

So last night I was moving things around, trying to get stuff done before it got dark and sweating like crazy.

I swatted away the gnats that everyone is dealing with right now, then I picked up my aluminum ladder and it slid open.

It wasn't locked into place, not that it ever really catches properly but it slid out longer and in my frustration I just grabbed it and held it up vertically trying to figure out where to put it.

I decided to just lift it over the back fence and drop it over the side onto the area where I have my clothesline.

So there I was, trying to lift it high enough, with it all stretched out and I looked up.

It was maybe 6 inches, if that, from the power-line.

Yeah the one that runs the electricity from the pole to the house. 

The one that you don't touch and here I almost slammed my metal ladder into it.

I froze. Then I slowly backed away and then turned the ladder horizontally.

I awkwardly dumped it over the fence and thought to myself. "Wow! that was close"

Then my next thoughts were:

Crap! my house is a mess. Everyone will judge me.

No one knows where my funeral clothes are!

They don't even know my final plans and wishes

or where my "papers" are...do I know where my papers are?...do I have papers? house stuff and insurance papers?

and I don't have a will. 

Oh god, my animals!

I had homes in place for some of them but my main person for several just announced on Friday that she and her husband are having another baby.

Yeah, she might have changed her mind since she already has 2 cats and 2 dogs and now about to have a 3rd kid.

So.....I need to be more careful

and I need to get rid of all the extra crap I've still hanging onto.

I need to organize and make some plans.

Maybe I will just let my niece have the house and my critters.

Yep, lots to think about.........

THIS WEEKEND

This weekend

is devote to getting rid of STUFF

and cleaning.

But mostly to thinking,

which always leads to writing.

I don't have WORD on this laptop

or maybe I do

sort of

but it keeps asking me for a KEY and I don't have a key.

and then it tells me that I have one less time to access my saved words.

I think I down to maybe 12?

and it started at 28.

So, need to get those words out of there

and into my email folders.

I save all my writing in drafts in my email account

so that I can open it wherever and look at it.

Sometimes I open them up and read the draft, maybe tweak it a bit and publish it as a post.

But it's a good place to store the thoughts in my head

that I need to get out.

To get rid of them for awhile.

I had a draft that I wrote last night

something about feeling like I was losing it at work.

Ya know, like where you are on the verge of a crying jag?

Rambling on about being tired,

tired physically and emotionally.

 

And maybe sharing an another tragic story from work

but then deciding to keep it to myself, mostly...

(sorry, Tammy)

rather than bring everyone else down too.

Yeah , it was about burn-out just before one of the busiest times of the year for me.

and about needing to remember not to dive out of the pot

into the fire.

Yeah, mostly stuff like that.

Hey, we've all got our problems.

Whatever.

So, this weekend will be spent

sorting through more of my STUFF

some to be donated and others things to be maybe sold

and sorting through my thoughts

and dumping them into my DRAFT folder.

So I hope everyone has a good weekend.

It's supposed to be much warmer here tomorrow.

Just enough to melt the snow and ice

and expose the layers of mushy poop out on my patio.

Yep. lots to do this weekend

and one hour less to do it in.

But one hour of sunlight is a good thing.