METANOIA

 

I have to be careful what I write about on my blog. I mean, anyone can read it.
It's not like they need to be a "friend".

But I've never been big on "secrets". Probably because I was raised by a man full of them. Everything was a secret with him. Boy, I could really write quite a bit about that or one could ask my sister, she goes crazy on that topic!
But some things are best kept as secrets.
Such as salary. Sigh....
Yeah.
I was just rolling along with my life, not ignorant of the fact that I am probably a member of the working poor but...
Hey! things could be much worse.
I could not even have a job.
Or I could still be working at the "bank".
Now THAT was awful.
Awful to wake up each morning and feel every joint in your body be heavy with dread.
It was a physical effort to sit up and rise from bed and go to work. Then to sit in a windowless room and research the mistakes that other people had made. Only to almost always find another that had to be corrected too. I look back on that times and wonder how I made it through those years where I felt like my life blood was being drained slowly out of me....
and I didn't even have a dog.
I suppose the fact that I had a part-time job all those years that was a polar opposite of the bank, helped me get through that time.
That and the fact that I was so very busy working.
Now I have a job that I don't hate.
I get to go outside.
I get to care for creatures that I mostly love. I won't lie here, there are the occasional annoying untrained or nasty boarders but I do my best to view them as a challenge.
A challenge to connect with them and get them to settle down and be happy.
So...
the other day when I came into work after taking a day off to try to stop being sick, I just needed to get some rest before the big holiday and get some energy back. I was pleasantly surprised when the vet tech who had covered for me and cared for the ONE dog that was in my boarding kennel (and the room of cats) told me that she is amazed how I do all the work myself every day.
She commented about how caring for, medicating, cleaning. doing laundry for one dog had kept her busy all day.
This Thanksgiving I will have more than 30 dogs and several more cats to care for and she shuddered at the thought.
I thanked her because most people think it's a "cushy" job (as my boss has stated) and they don't stop to think how keeping a level of concern and commitment and most importantly care for YEARS is not always easy.
But because I am a fanatic about it, I can't let myself ever lower my standards.
So.... it made me feel GOOD, kinda warm and fuzzy that someone GOT it.
I felt happy, almost contented
Then I walked up front, the boss hadn't arrived to work yet and I found there is a feud going on over salaries.
I was told that one person had told another person what yet another was making.
They were mad and angry.
One talked about the dollar amount and how they had a raise this year and hoped for another in January.
I felt like a balloon that someone had just blown up and then let go.
My air rushing out and my head sailing around the room.
It's been 3 years since I have gotten an increase and I've been employed there for over 10 years...
and most of these people have just started working there....
their $ amounts are evidently very close to mine.
Or more.
I walked back to my area.
Tears in my eyes and went outside with my little boarder and leaned over and scratched the top of her head.
I stood up, threw the rope toy and watched her race after it
and I questioned what I'm doing with my life.

 

I guess I'll go paint something.