THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER

is tomorrow and today is Father's Day,

it seems like a good day to start posting again.

I'm feeling much better.
I had this weekend off and although I received one phone call and several texts so far,
it's still nice to take a break from work and do nothing.
I got up early Saturday, at 5:30 because of the dogs
and also because I decided I hated my curtains in my bedroom and took them down.
So at 5:30 in the morning my room was bright with sunlight.
I'm contemplating leaving the windows bare though.
It's on the second floor and unless I'm standing right in front of them,
I don't think anyone can see me.
Even if they could, I'm usually covered in little dogs and the random cat.

Speaking of cats.
Thank you ALL so much for all your kind words about Stretch's passing.
That really meant the world to me and I could feel the love and friendship.
Truly, thanks for being there.

My cat Ghost, I'm sure I've mentioned him a few times.

In fact he might be the topic of the first post I wrote on this blog
back in 2009.
He had become lost back then.
Lily and I searched everywhere.
I posted signs,

Lily went door to door with flyers.
I had ads with photos in the 2 newspapers.
I had a HUGE sign posted on my front fence.
I went to all the shelters every other day
and Blue and I walked the neighborhood.
I had a few people who walk by my house with their own dogs,

tell me that they were keeping an eye out for him.
I went to a couple of homes of people who called about the ads

and said they had found a white cat
but it was never him.
I purchased my first cell phone so that I would have it on hand if anyone called.
There's much more to this story but 1 month and 3 days after he was suddenly gone,
he was found.
Foind in the next town over.

Some kids found him in a storm drain in a park

and put him in the bathroom there and called Animal Control.
Animal Control came to get him but he crawled into a hole were the plumbing came out of the wall.
The animal control officer, a woman I knew, finally got a gripe on him and pulled him out and scanned him for a chip.
Thank god I had him micro-chipped and she called me right away.

So anyway, lately he has been following me everywhere.

I mean he always does but now he doesn't let Ping or anyone else push him out of the way.
He lays stretched out on my chest with his face tilted up, just staring at me as I watch TV.
He's on my lap as I sit at the computer.
He sleeps on my head at night

or lays in front of me and stares at my face,

putting his paw on my cheek.

I'll move his paw and he puts it back.
Sometimes I fall asleep holding his paw.
There have been times  that I've woken up because he's laying across my throat
and I will push him off and roll over and he lays on my back.
He's gotten so obsessed that he sits in the bathroom when I take a bath and he'll perch his front paws on the edge of the tub like he's thinking of jumping in.
I've had to put my finger on his forehead and push him back.

He did this over-the-top behavior once before
and I became worried and took him to the vet and had him looked at and his blood work done.
He was fine.

I told co-workers back then that maybe there was something wrong with me!
But I'm still here and that was quite a while ago and now he's doing it again.
Maybe he's just my comfort cat.

Hey! I heard some good news the other day that I will share now.
The Wednesday before last, the 8th, when I was really bumming out.
I was at work, Wednesdays are half days for me and Doc doesn't work that day
so the clinic has a different jibe for me.
I was just trying to get through the morning and go home.
It was the anniversary of my Dad's passing and some years I don't think about it that much.
Not now anyway,
but this year it landed on a Wednesday again, just like all those years ago.
It was a sunny summery Wednesday that day too and I was to leave for lunch when I got the call.

So I'm trying to not think about that or the other things I've mentioned in the previous post.

I was up front in the reception area and chatting briefly about something to one of the receptionists when I see this man walk in the door.
I recognized him.

He's boarded his little dog with me a couple of times
and he brings the little guy to the clinic for grooming too.
I remembered how he talked about his little dog, who he adopted from the shelter
and how he never wants to go anywhere because he doesn't want to leave him.
I remember he had to go to a family thing and he was so sad about it.
And when he returned the little dog who had been so quiet and calm and so good,
had stood up and came to life, hopping with happiness to see his dad.
I remember how the old man had laughed and hugged him and the moment just made me feel so happy to see that bond.

So Wednesday the 8th,  I'm talking and trying to pretend that all is right with the world
and this old man comes in and he's got tears running down his face
and the receptionist hurries up to him.
I hurry back to the lab area to tell the vet techs and the vet that the man was here and something was wrong with his dog and....
I just started to cry.
Then the receptionist came rushing back with the little dog and I hurried off to my area.
I tell ya, with all that was going on in my head at that time,
I felt like I was on the verge of sobbing hysterically.
Finally I got it together, finished my work and went to leave.
I stopped up front for a moment and saw that they had kept the little dog to run tests and things.

Turned out he had a heart condition and fluid had built up and...
Anyway, it can be controlled with medication.
The techs filled me in on the details and told me that the vet had said the whole situation had gotten to him too.
They said he said it was hard to to see a nice old war veteran so upset.
Then the other day, the vet stopped as he was passing me in the hallway and said that the little dog was doing really well on the medication, that he was doing REALLY good!
He thought I would want to know.
I thanked him.

So there's that good news!

and the little Eskimo dog is going to a new home this week!

And I'm starting to feel better!
I haven't had to take any pain medicine at all anymore
and there's just a dull ache and occasional stabbing sensation but I usually can massage it out.
I guess it was my muscles, pulled, or torn or something.
I'm going to be more careful from now on.

So - I'm back!

I've finished a few commissioned pieces and I'm working on one more.
In the end, they are actually prints, mounted on canvases
and I sell them are dirt cheap.
I'll do a few more new ones and then I'll just have them reprinted and sell those too.
To be honest, I'm wanting to move on to something else.
I have some ideas on some collage paintings
and of course my illustrations.

Talking about that, I did do a little one for my sisters birthday last Sunday.
She's always gardening and her cats like to be out in the yard with her so....

Now if I did something like that for people, I'd charge more
because it's takes a lot longer to do.

But first I need to catch up with my own yard.
Mowing, weeding, planting the flowers that are still in their containers.
And the house.
Yep. Kinda let it go.
Yesterday I got rid of 3 big bags of stuff.
Vacuumed everywhere and need to get scrubbing because I want to paint.

I also want to go back and read all of the posts that I missed on my fav blogs.

Wish I had more time for everything.
Oh well! Someday.
XOXOXOXO

FUNK

I'm in a funk.
I thought I had pulled myself out but... truth be told, no.
It's not because of Squeak, although his passing didn't help.
It's just...............

I need a change.
Or maybe just some sleep.
Or maybe just a new approach to life.

I seem to remember an episode of Seinfeld where George, whose life was always a major fail, decided to do the opposite of his natural instincts and suddenly everything started working for him.
Although I can't remember how it ultimately turned out for him, something must have gone wrong as he was back to his never-do-well life by the next episode.

But...
Yesterday when I got home from work it started to storm.
Really high winds, over 50 miles an hour and then hail.
The weather people on TV were intense.
They had their jackets off and their sleeves rolled up and they were showing diagrams on where to seek shelter in your home.
Last year we had a tornado in our region, something rather rare here
and they told us to seek a safe place.
At that time, I went to the basement door and walked down a couple of steps and sat there, holding 2 of my little dogs, Poppy and Ping.

I had motioned Blue to the doorway, I knew he'd never go down the steps, so he sat there along with Nora and Jimmy. I called to the others, I called to my cats...but mostly I called my cats Harry and Ghost.
Strange how I made my Sophie's Choice....
I remember that I had thought if I heard a "train" noise as they predict, I would just set the two little ones down on the icky basement floor and tug Blue as far down the stairs as I could.
I would think if I did that, some of the others would follow him down too.

But last night, curled up in my big chair covered in critters,
I watched the Tornado Warnings and thought about my Dad.
When there would be storms, he liked to open the garage door and sit in his lawn chair and watch.
He never ever was concerned. He never told us to go downstairs.
Of course, the downstairs in my childhood home was nicer than the whole of my home is now.
And MY current downstairs is dark, damp with cinder block walls and it's filled with stuff.
Stuff being old furniture, cat carriers, Rubbermaid containers full of more stuff.
I really didn't want to go down there.
So I pulled up my ottoman and stretched out my legs and more little ones crawled on top of me.
Blue was laying on the sofa

and Nora was pacing.
Nora was the only one that seemed concerned so I called for her to lay down next to the chair.
I figured we'd just wait and see.
I was so tired that I started to drift off to sleep.
I remember thinking just before I drifted off that I hoped the hail didn't dent my car
and that if nothing happened to us, that I needed to pitched the stuff in the basement
and repaint the walls, maybe put down a piece of sheet vinyl flooring...

So, I woke up and the threat had passed.
Apparently 5 tornadoes had touched down in several areas.
Down on the far end of my street, a tree had come down and brought down power lines and people were trapped inside a restaurant.
I was lucky that we still had power in my section of town.
I got up and threw a load of laundry into the washer.
I let the dogs out to potty and the night sky seemed eerie.
They hurried back in and we all went to bed.

I got up this morning and went to work and I cried.
Nothing big really happened or anything but I just cried.
I don't think I'm alone though.
Many people that I work with feel the same way.
And there's other people I know, outside of work, that feel like crying too.
About different things
Maybe it's just the time of year.

Maybe it's that I get home and only have a couple of hours
to clean the house, sort through and get rid of the clutter,
do the laundry, feed the dogs, groom the dogs,

scoop the poop and clean the litter boxes,
read the blogs and the books I want to read and
oh, create Art
and I need to get to bed and get some sleep.
Seems like I never have time to do what I want or the energy.
Maybe it's just that I feel overwhelmed.

Do you feel like that too?
Is it the weather? The time of year?
The horrible things in the News and on social media?
See,  I told you I was in a funk.
Sorry.

TORNADO, FIRE, a CAT and a DOG and STUFF.

I need to write a post......

I have so many things swirling in my head

and don't know where to start.

I've just been thinking about so many things.

About... life.

About how I spend my time.

About my level of Happiness.

How I have such a list of what I want to do

and NEED to do.

And I always feel guilty if I don't do all that I need to do.

Spring was arrived.

source

In little bursts of warmth

but the nights are still cold.

But soon I can start building my fence!

I'm not sure where to place it... but that's for a different post.

So anyway,

I had breakfast with a friend

The one that accomplishes so much in a day

and she shocked me when she said she was tired.

Tired of doing it all.

That she just wanted her life to be simplified.

How she wouldn't mind moving from her home to a smaller house or

possibly even a condo with no yard.

Her house is so pretty and her yard landscaped perfectly!

I was so surprised.

She said she was tired of spending so much time on it.

I told her how I too thought that I resented working out in the yard

because it took time away from all the other things I needed to be doing and creating.

But I said that I also found it incredibly calming.

Like meditation.

source

But even if I was working hard outside, I felt stressed that I should be doing something else.

She understood but said that she didn't enjoy it at all.

So I could see why she would want to move.

We got to talking about how we used to shake our heads at people who hired others

to do their cleaning and yard work and home improvements

and how we never understood why someone would spend money when they could do it themselves.

Both of us have always scraped together our pennies for everything but

suddenly we understood why others did it...

The other day a tornado touched down, not here

but not far from here either.

source

We have warnings every Spring but we are almost always lucky.

They kept showing photos of the destruction that the high winds had done locally.

There was a storage place where units were knocked over and blown about.

I couldn't help notice the one that was mostly just knocked off of its footings.

You could see the contents still inside.  

It was packed to the ceiling.

Not in some orderly boxed fashion but stuff just jammed in a huge pile.

I thought about how someone was paying for all that STUFF to just sit piled up in there.

Why?

And why do I have STUFF in my basement? Still!

Furniture, wood, things I'm going to USE someday.

Things I'm going to paint and improve and make BIG money on... someday.

And things in Rubbermaid containers that someone will want to buy... someday,

in a shop online that I have never opened

or in a garage sale that I would dread having.

I'm no better, not really.

I mean, OK I haven't rented space for my STUFF and it's more organized but....

Then they showed where the tornado had hit.

source

People devastated over their destroyed homes and lost belongings.

I can't even imagine how horrible and tragic that would be. 

My house means the world to me

and my home has so many things that have deep meaning to me.

Things my nieces have made me and a few cherished items from my past.

They talked to a man who said at least everyone got out alive in his family and how

that was the important thing

and he's right.

Two people in the town lost their lives and many were injured.

If a tornado were to ever hit my home, my animals would be my only concern

I would not be worried about anything else inside of it.

Then they talked to a woman who looked to be about my age.

She was saying how devastating it was and how thankful she was that no one had been hurt.

Then she hesitated and said that it was kinda "cleansing".

To be rid of everything.

I'm sure that many people would be very critical of her words, but I got what she was trying to say.

A while back I was watching "The Talk" and Marie Osmund was a guest.

Somehow they got onto the topic of having a lot of STUFF.

She said that when her parents had passed, she had put everything of theirs into a garage to save.

One day the garage caught fire and she lost everything they had left behind.

The ladies of The Talk started to offer her sympathy and she shook her head.

She stated that the fire had done something that she was unable to do herself 

and therefore it wasn't necessarily a bad thing...except for the photos.

The other day I was standing in my kitchen trying to FINALLY decide whether to paint my red china hutch white or black.

A long time ago my kitchen had a lot of red but not any longer.

I decided that black would probably be the right choice.

It would balance with the black shelf above the sink

and the black framed photos resting on it

and the dark clock above it.

I stood back and stared at the shelf and other things.

I was in deep thought about it.

My house is a 100 years old and the walls are plaster and lath.

When you drive a screw or nail into them, you can hear the plaster fall behind the wall.

The shelf has always be a precarious thing.

So I stood there and suddenly for no reason,

Ghost leaping onto the edge of the sink and knocked the shelf off the wall.

(Ghost on my red china hutch)

The little ceramic leaf that also sat on the shelf and held some jewelry fell and broke.

I gathered up everything quickly and turned and looked at the space.

Suddenly it seemed clear and clean and more spacious.

I looked over at the china hutch, maybe I could paint it white!

So... I don't need a a horrific event like a tornado, a fire or 

even my sweet cat to change things in my life.

Maybe I need to stop looking at everything in my life as what it COULD be

and just BE.

And stop focusing on the money I spent in the hopes of bringing in more.

Or creating/ painting with an eye always on how to make some cash.

I know that the Law of Attraction is that if you focus on something it will happen.

If you think it, it will be so.

They say if you keep thinking "I won't be late, I won't be late"

The Universe will just focus on the "being late" part, and you will be late.

If you instead think, I will be on time, then you will be on time.

It's the focus on the good positive and not the negative.

Which I think is the answer whether you believe in The Universe and Law of Attraction or not.

Sigh, I don't know.

I'm just thinking out loud or rather blogging out loud.
I've talked about this STUFF so many times
and I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow.
I frustrate myself.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks,

but we all know that's not true.

It's just finding the energy to do it all.

(Blue is exhausted too.)

Reflection

I don't know why really, but this weekend I have done a lot of reflecting back on my life and in turn, looking forward.

Maybe it's because I've been watching a marathon of the TV show "Six Feet Under".

Maybe this show about funeral home directors has me analyzing my life.

I'm not thinking about dying. I'm thinking about just the past few years and the ones to come.

So I went back to the beginning of my blog and read my first post:

My first entry!

I wanted a place to connect with people who love art, cats, dogs, flowers and all things that make me happy! I wanted to be able to show photos of my work and get input and constructive comments. I wanted to be able to ramble on about things that make me happy: the smell of just cut grass, birds splashing in the birdbath, "lightning" bugs (fireflies), my dogs racing around after each other playing and my cat sleeping in the same dog bed with my old dog. So I hope to make some great new friends who share my interests!

OK, surprisingly I have done that. I've found kindred spirits.

People who I connect with that share some invisible thread of thought,

although we have never met.

And that makes me happy.

My second post was about Ghost.

http://oldblackcatboo.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html

How very ironic.

Just this morning as I stood at my back door, feeling the cool air and gazed at the Morning Glories and being so thankful that the temperature has finally dropped.

I thought to myself , too bad that the cats can't go out and experience all this breathtaking nature.

It's a very quiet morning and yet I can hear several cars swooshing by the front of the house.

Suddenly I realize that they are headed for the Labor Day Parade that travels just a few blocks from my home.

Then I remembered. It was Labor Day weekend that Ghost became lost.

That Friday evening when he timidly ventured out with Harry and Fagan and didn't return for a month and 3 days.

Wow, that happened 6 years ago.

Some things have changed since then but so much has remained the same.

I feel like I'm on a merry go round, happily riding up and down, safe and content.

But what if my carousel horse magically broke free and we flew into the unknown?

Would it be a grand adventure? or regretful journey that would put everything at risk.

and...haven't I been THERE before?

Haven't I learned anything. 

Jeez, what is with me today?

Maybe it's just because it's the end of summer

and the beginning of Fall is just around the corner

and that has me thinking like this.

I do love Fall.

I think I will go to Menards (home Improvement Store) and buy some edgers for my front yard.