FOCUS on What's IMPORTANT

Wow, I didn't realize how long it's been since I posted.
It's the New Year and almost a month is gone.
I've been struggling with some things.
I really think I'm one of those people who needs sunshine in order to remain positive.
I've been trying to remember to put it out there into THE UNIVERSE
and while it seems so easy to do, it's not always for me.
I forget.
So, I'm writing this to remind myself and others that our thoughts
can really have an effect on our lives.

I HAVE been thinking POSITIVE about my Blue.
He's been calm and so far, so good.
That's my focus... on him doing good each day.

Then there's Katy.
Her previous mom calls weekly.
I kinda wish she'd stop but I don't have the heart to tell her to do so.
In our last conversation, I was sick and tired, seems like I'm always sick and tired lately BUT
I told her that while Katy WAS using the potty pads as I had told her before,
she was also using a spot under the kitchen table and close to the hutch.
AND another spot in the living room by the bookcase.
Since Katy is teeny tiny,  it's just a small little circle.
Still, it's PEE and I told her previous mom that she was now wearing a doggie diaper.
(and I left out the part where I had bought some special cleaner for dog urine.)

Her "previous mom" instantly told me how she had been so surprised when I had told her how Katy used the potty pads and didn't pee in the house because Katy had peed in HER house!...............
.........................................................

yeah.

Then she offered to take her back.
She said that she missed her
and that it wasn't that she WANTED her back but
she felt bad about her peeing in my house.
I told her to let me think about it, that I'd let her know.
She said for me to not feel bad if I wanted to give her back
and the cash she had gifted to me, that I could keep that, not to worry.
I was again caught off guard and said I'd think about it and let her know.

So I thought about it and I cleaned the areas and then I had an idea.
I have a lot of doggy beds and I put a small one on each of the "spots".
I watched Katy walk up to them and look at them and then she'd crawl into them and go to sleep.
So far, that's worked.
But to be honest, her favorite spot is Blue's bed and then this happened -

Yeah, I can't give her back.

I posted this photo on Instagram.
I'm on Instagram a lot.
I highly recommend it.
Many of my Blogger friends who have quit blogging, post over there now.
I also posted ALL my dog/cat photos that I'm working on.
If you aren't familiar with Instagram, people will "LIKE" your photos.
AND of ALL my photos the one of Blue and Katy has gotten the most likes!
LOL!

So anyway, that's some of the things going on.
There's been some work things too.
Things I thought had been resolved but I'm still working on.
Let's just say, good help is hard to find.

And other annoying little crap that is NOTHING in the grand scheme of things
but has the capacity to drive a person insane.
House stuff.
Things wearing out and needing repairs and me trying to figure out how to do them.
I know everyone deals with this kind of stuff but it gets exhausting dealing with it on my own.
Whine, whine, whine.
But I'm grateful that I have a home and that I have access to the Internet and YouTube.
I swear there's a video about EVERYTHING on Youtube.
Still, when you have to go to the Hardware Store for the same damn issue 3 times,
it gets tiring.
Yep, I need some cheese for all this whining!

OK, so...
Art related...
The place where I had my Art before and now will take my stuff on a commissioned basis,
is excited about my new stuff.
(I sent her a message and a link to my Instagram.)
I'm also doing the same ones for the clinic and I actually got my business cards made.
I'm currently working on larger prints with quotes.
So I'll do those up and put them at the clinic and then... forget about them.
Just replenish as needed.

Soon I will start on my dog/cat/horse stuffed animals
and I'll work on my house that seems to have decided to fall apart all at once.
AND in my lunacy, I'm going to work on packaging my Catmint that I have.
I'm thinking I can sell that at the clinic.

And maybe put it in an Etsy shop along with other cat related stuff.... maybe.

A Blogger friend sent me an email a while back about my passion, my purpose in life.
She didn't think my Art was my REAL passion but rather my taking in needy animals.
Rescuing.
She said something along the lines of how THAT was my purpose and
how everything else is extra.
I've thought about this for a long time.
How all my Art is animal related.
How the stuffed animals I want to make, how they will be made to look like little rescues.
How the books I want to write, about Kanga, and Jimmy and of course Blue,
are all about animals that someone at some point didn't want and how they are PERFECT.

Yep. I've been thinking a lot about just enjoying life
and not to stress so much and to stop being sick all the time.
(I'm sick again as I write this!)
Yep. Lots of thoughts.
Just trying to get my head on straight and keep it that way
and just dealing with life.

So... How has your first month gone?
How are YOU doing?
I know we need to have faith and focus on the GOOD and focus it into being.
I'm trying to do that with my small little life.
Focus on the things I can control and not let what I can't control overwhelm me.

and I'll just keep trying to be true to Myself and do what I feel I need to do.
Even if others don't understand.

Finding POSITIVES in the NEGATIVES.

Maybe I was mumbling this week because
The Universe was not getting my messages correctly.
Maybe I lost focus and somehow concentrated on the wrong things but
this week kinda sucked.

There I go again. I just focused on the negative!
I need to shake that off and look at the positives!
I tell ya, this is a real learning process.
I have to keep catching myself and adjusting my attitude.

OK, where should I start?
Here's a positive!
I had received several emails (FOUR) from VIDA about them liking my Art
and asking me to submit some artwork.
I looked over their website and it appeared to very nice high-end clothing
and I REALLY liked how they helped their workers to become literate.
They set the prices and handle all the production and shipping
and then I get 10% of the sells.
You can read about that HERE.

So I made an account with them and submitted some of my photos for silk scarves
and they were "pending" and then they evidently liked them and posted them.
Only problem was, they weren't a high enough resolution.
They asked me to correct that and I just don't think it's possible to get them to the pixels and dpi that they need.
Truthfully, I don't know much about that kind of thing and they suggest Photoshop, which I don't have.
I tried to change them in my "Paint" program but then it wouldn't let me open it up and do any other editing.
So I went to my account and took the images off.
I don't want someone to order one and for it not to be available.
I took some quick photos to show what it DID look like before I took it down-

So the Positive of this Negative is, they liked my work.
To be honest, I'm not that majorly bummed.
I mean I thought it was cool but it wasn't the direction that I dream of going towards.
I have THAT worked out in my head and will share for another day.

Kinda tied to that because it is computer related is the Negative that my older PC is done.
It started out with the cat puking on the keyboard and then another day he jumped on me while I was drinking coffee and it spilled everywhere.
Of course the fact that  he was always walking on it probably didn't help.
Then finally it just came on in the middle of the night and the screen was glowing and making weird sounds.
When it happened I woke up to this eerie light in the hallway and I walked out and down a couple of steps and peered through the banister at the computer screen and I immediately thought of Poltergeist and quickly ran down and shut it off.

My laptop has been on the fritz for a while too.
It was refurbished to begin with and it runs very hot and sometimes just blacks out and shuts down when it's not plugged in.
The Positive! - I can do a lot on my iPhone. It's hard for me to comment on other blogs sometimes but I can do partial posts on it and upload photos and sometimes I can use my work computer on my lunch hour to finish up stuff.
Another Positive is that I think by keeping it plugged and if I get a laptop cooling pad it will solve that problem.
So I'm optimist about that!

OK, here's another Negative -  this Shingles thing I have, maybe.
It's called Zoster vine Herpete and it's basically shingles without the rash.
I have all the symptoms, the burning feeling on the skin
not a deep pain like somethings wrong in my tummy or in my side.
But I got to thinking, maybe it's a pulled muscle.
I did try to move/lift some thing a few weeks ago that weighed A LOT.
(Probably 200 lbs at least)
and I did lift a couple of bigger dogs this week to bathe...

Anyway I'm really done with it.
I want it over and I'm sick of it hurting but
on the POSITIVE, if it's the Shingles thing, it could be the one with the rash and
it could be somewhere visible so I'm lucky it's not that and
if it's a pulled muscle, it will eventually heal
so I need to shut up about it and count my lucky stars.

Then... I hesitate to post this but I share everything here so....
GULP.
I have (had) a HUGE vet bill.
Doc is aware of it but has been tolerant of it because every dog bath I do,
the money goes directly onto my account.
Sadly I only make between $5.00 to $7.50 a bath so realistically I'd probably be dead before it got paid off
(if I just paid it down that way.)
So I've also made monthly payments to it too.
OK, so this is what happened -
#1 Mean Girl jumped my niece about her bill and made a HUGE deal about it at work
and then dragged my name and the amount of my bill into it too and then Doc walked into the room and she started ranting to him about it.
It kinda put him on the spot, as others do not have such a high balance.
In the past I've gotten my bill pretty low but then someone has gotten sick and...

Anyway. I didn't want Captain Mean Girl to make it into something REALLY BIG
and gossip to everyone about it so I went and took all my emergency money that I had (per advice of Tammy and Sharon) and
applied it all to my bill and put the rest on a super low interest deal that my credit card company was offering.
BUT the positive is THAT bill is gone and next time when they ask me to bathe a huge rowdy out of control dog who's sure to throw my back out or pull a muscle, I can politely decline.
In the past I felt obligated to do it because of my bill.
Another Positive is the fact that I have GOOD friends who had told me to accumulate a emergency fund and therefore I had it to use!
Another Positive is that I'm not worried about it.
I will make more Art and more cash will come my way and my bills will disappear!

Finally, my last Negative is... I realized this week that my Blue isn't young.
I mean, I knew that but this week it hit me hard and I'll tell you what happened to make me realize it but first I will share how the same thing happened to me with my Dad.
My Dad always looked MUCH younger than his actual age but we all do age.
It just happens, but sometimes it does it so slow and that it creeps up and you don't realize it.
Yep, that and a big heaping lump of denial stirred into all.
Anyway I had gone into a restaurant to pick up an order many years ago and a man walked in who I thought at first glance was my Dad.
Just as I was about to call out to him, I realized it wasn't him at all.
It was just an elderly man that looked like him.
I was depressed for days.

So...with Blue.
He hates nail trims.
He curls his lip and runs and hides under the kitchen table (or tries to but he's too big to get all the way under there) but he hides when he sees the nail clippers.
So I've always just taken him to work and they have him step on a "bale" that Doc uses for "big" chiropractic patients. (Huge dogs and horses).
When he was young it took a vet tech on each side of him and one behind him and me scratching his forehead and keeping him focused on me while a 5th person cut his nails.
Over the years, the number of people it takes to do the job keeps going down.
Now it's only two people.
So when I took him in this week to have them trim them, I took photos of him.
Later at home I looked at the photos and it hit me,
My Blue is an old man.

Then the night before last, he wouldn't eat his food.
If someone asked me about their own dog skipping a meal, I would say not to worry.
I'd say - Give it 24 hours and see if he just had an upset tummy, To let it settle.
Not to worry as long as his belly wasn't hard.
A hard belly can mean bloat and in that case you must rush your dog to the emergency vet immediately.
Anyway.
I felt his belly, it wasn't hard.
Then I called my sister and told her he wouldn't eat and then I burst out crying.
Finally she calmed me down and asked me what was wrong and I told her that Blue was old.
God, I'm tearing up writing that!
Jeez.
The Positive - The other morning I gave him special canned food and he ate it.
and last night he ate his regular food like no one's business.
The Positive - Blue is fine.

Yep, It's been quite a week.
I've struggled, I'll be honest.
I've gotten upset over the fact that I've only made a small dent in my clutter
and my vacation isn't very far away and I was feeling myself slipping.
I would forget to put it out to The Universe and to believe it.

But Hey! It will all work out because I'm focused again
and I'm SCREAMING it out to The Universe.
Things might take a while to come around but come around it will!

and then I read Tammy's latest post, about all those people losing everything in those horrible fires in Canada.

Whoa. What a reality check.
I'm so fortunate!
and I could hear my Dad's voice in my head.
His words he would always say to me when I would start to complain about anything.
Yep, I can hear my Dad telling me to "Quit your belly-aching!"

So I'm quitting my belly-aching.
I'm putting it out to The Universe.
I know everything will be fine and turn out as I dream.
But I just wanted to share all my Negatives
in case someone else is having a week that sucks.
There are Positives.
We just have to remember to look for them
and to THINK Positive
and count our BLESSINGS!
XOXOXOXOXO

CHANGING MY WAYS

I realize that this post reads like a New Years post but....

I need to make some changes.

Life changes, not just resolutions.

I need to figure out how much sleep I need to be getting at night and I need to start getting it.

I need to start eating healthier and stop all the sugar and fast food.

source

I'm exhausted and I feel dizzy a lot of the time and it's because I'm running on empty and filling my tank with junk.

I have too many projects going at once that I'm ending up failing at them all.

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And... one of my busiest times of the year at work is just days away.

I need to figure out a schedule that fits MY life.

I have a friend who gets up at 4 each morning and gets breakfast for her husband as he heads off to work.

Then she washes up the dishes and tidies the house. She says she can't stand to come home to a dirty house.

She's always pulled together and dresses stylishly.

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She budgets her money carefully.

She plans out a menu plan for a MONTH in advance and shops and hunts down bargains.

She holds down a very creative but also very physical job and even puts in overtime.

She meets a group of retired people she knows for breakfast once a week

and she meets me for breakfast every other week

and she goes to her parents home one day a week before work and cleans their house.
She runs errands for them and takes them to the doctors for appointments and such.

She plans and prepares everyone's birthday/anniversary/holiday party

and most nights she goes to bed by 8.

Time management.

She's got it down pat.

It's true that she doesn't have any pets now

and she doesn't have any Art projects going

and she's doesn't get on the computer hardly EVER...

So, OK. We have different priorities but

she's working it out

and I'm just burning out.

source

So...

I need to get some sleep now

so that I can figure this out with a clear head.

Figure out a sleep schedule

A schedule to work on things that are important to me

Figure out a money budget

and start eating right and prepare ahead....

And....just to start feeling good again and

Happy.

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Wish me Luck!

xo