WHEW! I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER!

I must admit, I've been in a funk.

I suppose the fact that I didn't sell much at the Horse Expo
AND I haven't sold anything at the Art/Antique place, didn't help.
What was really getting to me though was, how I was living my life.

It was getting to me, working at the kennel, taking care of all the pets
and doing through the same thing each morning and evening at home.
In between I had spent every moment working on my Art for these 2 places
and then I suddenly felt as though I had taken 3 big leaps forward
and then slipped off the path and was stuck in the mud.

I try to be optimist and I know I have so many friends out there urging me on
to keep going
but suddenly I just wanted to come home and do nothing.
I wanted to unplug and relax.
I mostly stayed off Facebook and Instagram except to idly thumb through images on my phone.

I felt like my life was just repetition and not fun.

There are a few positives that happened.
There is a new woman veterinarian at the clinic.
I actually know her,  not very well, but she was at the first clinic that I worked at.
I worked very early mornings then and she would be coming in as I was leaving.
I'm not sure if she remembers me or not.
Right now she's taking over all of Doc's surgeries except the bone ones.
He said that he brought her in as part of his plan to scale back.
He wants to just attend to his long time clients who request him
and of course all of his clients that need chiropractic adjustments
and ultimately just do chiropractic care
but he said he's not going anywhere for a while.
I made the comment the other day to my vet tech friend that I plan on Blue being around for another 20 years and he turned and said he wouldn't be around THAT long (he's Blue's vet) and that he'd be retired by then... (Doc is 2 1/2 years older than I).

And talking about age.
I've hired a new boarding person because one of my workers will be graduating soon from college and moving to Portland, Oregon.
I think everyone was very surprised as to who I hired.
Before I hired him, I told Doc that I had an applicant who the girls said was OLD.
I said that he wasn't old and then I told Doc the year that the applicant had graduated High School.
Doc was startled and said that was the year HE graduated and I said,
Yeah! See he's not old!
Truth be told, they might be the same age but if you put them next to each other, you would never guess it.
Doc looks many years younger but I think he has a young mind frame and that makes a big difference.
SO I hired a man who's older.
He's still working full-time and he has a cat that he loves to talk about but he said he needed to fill his off time and and he misses having a dog
and he has a work ethic.
My niece was worried about a man doing the job, because sometimes men can be a bit rough or harsh with animals but one day as she was leaving work she spied him through the window and saw him playing with one of the cats with a toy and then he stopped and hugged the cat and then went on his way to the dog kennels.
Lily called me right afterwards and said she liked that guy.
So there's that.
Although once the college girl leaves, I'll be working 6 days a week... at least for a while.

So all this good stuff and I was still dragging my feet.
I started devising alternative career plans.
I thought about caring for dogs in my home, just smaller dogs
and marketing the fact that they would be in a home environment.
Then I realized I have a full plate right now, several are elderly and
then there's Blue.

So I discarded that idea.... at least for now. Maybe as a side job in retirement, but not NOW.

Then I decided to open a Cat Cafe.
A place where I'd serve, coffee and teas.
Smoothies and tasty treats.
I'd have big comfy chair where people could lounge and read or work on their laptops.
And there would be cats.
Sweet sociable cats, Cats to relieve stress and comfort.
Maybe a big screen in the back area and big floor cushions to lay on and have movie nights....
But after talking with my sister about all the expenses to furnish the place, the rent, the little kids that would want to come in and run after the cats and...
Yep, nixed that idea too.

I did have a great talk with my sister though.
We had met for our monthly breakfast get-together at my favorite family-owned breakfast joint.
I wish we could do that more often.
Afterwards I drove her by a house in the neighborhood we grew up in.
It's for sale and needs A LOT of work but sits on an acre of land.
On either side of it, sits big gorgeous homes and the property taxes would probably be at least 5K a year.
Yep, out of the question.
Then we drove by a house that I've always loved and is now for sale.
It's only four blocks down and one block over from me.
I said to her that I would probably be stupid to move so close to where I live right now.
She didn't think it was dumb, not if I was moving to something better.
So, anyway-
The house is small with a little breezeway going to the attached garage and a nice level backyard.
Usually my sister is pretty bland in her responses about houses I find but she loved this one.
She said that if there was an Open House the next day (Sunday) she would go with me!
She NEVER wants to go to Open Houses.
So I went home and looked it up and found that it was "Sale Pending".
Sigh, Oh well.... it's not like my own home to sale ready.
It needs many many repairs and major de-cluttering.

So... I went to the library.
I checked out a bunch of children's books and poured over the illustrations.
Suddenly I wanted to start drawing again.
I'm going to re-write my Kanga book and making it less wordy.
But I've got clear ideas in my head about it.

I'm then going to start on my Blue book(s).
One for any age and also a series for kids about some of his adventures.
And I can see it in my head!
I'm dropping my altered photos and moving forward on the illustrations.
I'm working on simple little cards and prints and putting them for sale on my blog
and Etsy.

I ordered a couple of books off of Amazon about
non-traditional retirement ideas and also about de-cluttering and why a person accumulates so much in the first place and can't let stuff go.

Then the weather turned and it suddenly was nice outside.
I worked outside for a bit and finally was able to breathe.
Literally and figuratively.
I had forgotten how much I missed working outside, it's garden therapy.
I texted my sister that maybe I'll grow and sell cut flowers!!!
She didn't respond but I think I wear her out with my grand schemes and ideas.
She's probably just waiting to see if I change my mind again!
But whatever!
At least I'm full of ideas and motivated again!

Being SICK and a Business IDEA!

 I've been sick.

Physically. Achy, tired, dizzy with a sore throat type of thing.
and
Mentally. Because I've seen ugliness.
The last few months have opened my eyes to what is really inside of some people.
Sometimes it was just a difference of opinion and we might have said things that we shouldn't have but we listened to each others point of view, and then agreed to disagree, still be friends and move on.

I find that there are times when you don't always LIKE someone but it doesn't mean you don't still LOVE them .

But when things are said or written that creates a crack and lets you glimpse inside and you are able to see the awful truth, the hate and the ugliness that lives inside their heart.
When that happens it's best to step away before the evilness leaks out and contaminates you.
If it's rotten to the core, that's a waste of time and time is too short to waste energy trying to help and heal.

Maybe I'm a Pollyanna but it still shocks me that people can be so unkind and uncaring and hate-filled.

I'm not just talking politics, although that has definitely shined the light on some people lately.

I'm not just talking about heartless disregard of dogs and cats.
It's just that lately I've encountered so many mean self-centered people who can't figure out why they are so unhappy.

I realize that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
I know that I can be sarcastic and stubborn. Sometimes I'm lazy and whiny. I 'm indecisive on everything and then procrastinate when I do decide on something. I'm outgoing but secretively antisocial ...
a borderline-hermit. I'm judgmental and I have no time or use for anyone that doesn't care about animals and I harbor horrible thoughts about people who abuse them.
But I do believe that I am aware of my bad behavior and try to work on it.
(except for the animal part, that's in my DNA)
So, I'm trying to rid myself of these poison people in my life.
Sometimes it's easy and you're able to just "UN-friend" them.
Other times it's harder and you have to hide in the kitchen until they quit knocking and let the calls go to voice-mail.

Some are impossibly difficult because they are related to someone you care about.
Or worse yet, you work with them and you just nod, walk away and go hold a cat close.

Holding a cat close...

that gave me any idea.
I recently read about "Cat Cafes" in Tokyo.

I thought I could open one here. A place for people to come in for coffee or tea and sit and play with cats.

Maybe it would soften their souls.
Maybe they wouldn't take life so seriously and relax and just be.
I was thinking, what could be better than a a warm kitty purring against your heart?

and if it couldn't change some peoples mindsets, maybe it could be a refuge for others from those people.
But then I started having doubts.
What if the business failed? Where would the cats go?
I would need a bigger house.
My head hurts.
I think I will go not finish something.