Sunday, April 6, 2014

Haters Gonna HATE.

Seems like everyone I talk to lately, are always judging other people.
I can't get away from them, they are in my personal life
and it's also some of the people I work with.
They always have some snarky comment. 
They think that anyone that makes a choice different from what they would have done is wrong
and stupid.
They seem to enjoy talking people down and criticizing everything.
Maybe it's human nature.
I hope it's not a woman thing.
I would hope women are better than that.
I've certainly done it myself and I feel ashamed.
Yep, sucked into the meanness.
The negativity.
So, as of today I'm going to try to be a better person.
Someone who minds my own business,
tends my own garden
and does or doesn't do whatever I damn well please.
As long as I bring no harm to others,
it's no ones business.
I'm not going to feel guilty about decisions
or feel the need to explain.
I'm tired of feeling bad.
Of letting others make me feel bad.
I'm tired of it.
No wonder I prefer the company of animals.

Sometimes you run across something that has perfect timing.
Like it was meant to be.
Or should I say, meant to see.


Pamela Smallcomb said...

Then you will understand why I am a hermit. :) Just walk away from the crazies, Cindi. xox!!

tammy j said...

oh cindi.
thank you for that.
for this post.

Jan said...

I'll bring no one ham either, not if I can help it. I saw that video today earlier, it's great.

I wrote ham because when I read your post that is what I thought you wrote at first and it was funny.
We must all do the best we can to make this world a better place.

Cynthia Myers said...

Yes, I am a happy hermit!
Sadly, I have to interact with co-workers and sometimes I get a headache.
Especially when they form little cliques and pick on certain people.
Luckily I know how to deal with them but still, it's exhausting watching them gang up on others.
And even people in my personal life are being hateful and catty.
I will definitely walk away from the crazies when possible and tune them out other times!
Thanks for commenting!

Cynthia Myers said...

You're welcome!
I saw this video and just had to share!

Cynthia Myers said...

Jan! LOL!
and I will bring no HAM either!
I don't eat little pigs. Ha!
I shared that video on FB so maybe you saw it there. I'm sure it's been shared a lot by now.
It's a great reminder to remember what's important in life and to live it the best we can.

Vicki said...

This is a topic I've pondered over quite a lot, Cynthia.
I don't know why, but it seems to be getting worse I've noticed. Maybe, people were more careful with their words and weren't quite as critical in years gone by. Altho' there were plenty of bullies at my school. But kids have always tended to be "mean". Adults grew out of it, so it seemed, and were polite - regardless of what they thought.
But these days. It's no holds barred when it comes to mean-ness and bitchiness in a lot of adults.

There are many times that I am shocked, disappointed and appalled at my sex.
Women seem to be more competitive, haughty, defensive and, frighteningly aggressive - especially towards other women.
And, I REALLY dislike the "cliques" that women establish, excluding all others who are new. I've experienced this many times, as I'm always the new girl/woman, since we move quite a bit. It's getting harder to make friends these days, and at my age.

And, men can be pretty damn mean too. To each other and to women. Especially in the workplace.

Like Pamela, I'm pretty much a hermit. Been burnt too many times.
Yes, of course, there are lovely people out there. But, they appear to be few and far between.
Most of the sweetest people I've "met" are in blogland, it seems.

I've even noticed that neighbours are less interested in being friendly anymore. That baffles me. I mean, I don't want to constantly "drop in for a cuppa" all the time. I respect privacy, and we all have lives to get on with. But snubbing openly is a big mistake, I think. Who knows when one might need the help of a neighbour one day?

It seems no one trusts anyone anymore.
I get it, there are a lot of weirdos out there. But the pendulum seems to have swung in the other direction, and no one trusts their instincts anymore.
There is a distinct lack of community.
This saddens me.
We all seem to be so fearful of others. And mistrust leads to mean and nasty.

Sigh. Why we can't all get on, is a mystery to me. It seems to be an evolutionary thing that will never, ever change I'm afraid, as it appears to be getting worse.

And yes, I agree, the company of animals can be a far better choice - most of the time.
I've always said, dogs are the best people :)

ps - heartwarming video clip. Sigh. If only.

Cynthia Myers said...

Thank you for this wonderful comment. I agree that some of the nicest people I know are my hermit friends that I have never met.
I'm pretty good at dealing with bullies and cliques now. After years of learning how. Wherever I've worked I usually didn't have a problem with the cliques because I would do 3 things -
Befriend the crankiest bully.
Use dry sarcastic humor which enables me to speak the truth while laughing and finally
learn every job to make myself invaluable.
But honestly, it's exhausting and I'm so glad to spend most of my time with other peoples pets and away from the "mean girls".
The thing that really hurts my heart is having people who are personally close to me, be so hateful. I have even gone along and joined in the conversation some times because it's easier.
Then later I feel awful that I let myself be sucked in. I think lots of people do that, get sucked in and forget themselves.
I just needed this video to remind me to step back and distance myself as much as possible and to be kind.
And try not to let their comments towards me hurt so much.
To just consider the source.
I'm so thankful I have this blog to vent out frustrations! LOL!
Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

I've never cared about what people think of me. I do as I please (as long as nobody else gets hurt of course) and if they don't like it Up Theirs so to speak :-)

No men aren't better at all :-) But as I say, it's better they speak behind my back because if they didn't I would be rather boring, wouldn't I :-) :-) :-)

Have a great day!

Cynthia Myers said...

Oh Christer,
I admire you. I appear to do as I please but I actually think about everything over and over and over.
I get so upset.
A co-worker told me that I need to learn to "Let it go".
She reminded me of a painting that I did, that's hanging up at work with those words on it.
Yep, I need to work on the not caring part.
Thanks for commenting!
(and agree that men can be bad about it too but women can sometimes be pure evil.)

Haddock said...

Like you said, men can be bad about it too.
Liked that video, especially when the child comes from school.

regreta said...

i learned this one the hard way, usually when people point out other peoples flaws its because its an "mirror image" of themselves,in other words they are pointing a flaw of themselves in someone else so they dont have to deal/change their flaw..

i took an anthropology of sex class in college and my female professor pointed out that pattern in women is usually influenced by men and that if women just wised up and and aligned themselves together rather than against each women, there would be an environment of love, solidarity, protection and general understanding, unfortunately this ugly cycle is simply repeated thru ignorance and lack of consciousness. Cynthia, you becoming aware of that and being strong, mature and set an example can influence other women to behave better with other women. My professor used to always say, if women would align themselves together, we could change the world, but until we begin to educate ourselves and find compassion and support for each other, this will never change...

I myself have a hard time aligning myself with women, but that has alot to do with my relationship with my mother (too long to get into) and I too have had to ponder this, you are not alone in this train on thought, but again becoming aware is the first and hardest step for change and it begins with one's self, I hope this helps a little.

Cynthia Myers said...

Welcome Haddock!
Yes, sadly people in general can be very bad.
I'm glad you like the video. I am now seeing it everywhere!
And that little girl coming from school really got to me too.
Thanks so much for commenting!

Cynthia Myers said...

Thank you so much for the wonderful comment!
I agree that if women would support each other rather than try to tear others down, the world would be a much better place.
Truthfully, that's what I love about this Blog World. I have met such wonderful people here, who are always offering encouragement and support to myself and to others.
Truly, on days when I feel mentally exhausted, I'm able to come here and know there are still good people in this world.
Yes, if only people would treat others as they want to be treated, Life could so much more pleasant.
(How's your kitty doing?)

regreta said...

coco cat doing much better, I had a scare with her a couple weeks ago where she refused to eat. it scared the hell outta me, but she is better now and her appetite is back. Its really a day to day thing with her, Im just grateful my best friend is here another day to be my love and support at home when day are shitty. I am still planning on going on a trip to visit family and Im just praying she does not get too upset... we'll see... hope you have a restful and warm weekend!

Cynthia Myers said...

Oh Greta,
I'm sending positive thoughts out to your Coco. I know what you are going through. The same thing is happening with Ruby.
I swear I thought her days were really numbered last week but lately she's been much better (for her).
Maybe the fact it finally warmed up a bit is helping.
Your and Coco are in my thoughts.