Saturday, December 13, 2014

CHANGING MY WAYS

I realize that this post reads like a New Years post but....
I need to make some changes.
Life changes, not just resolutions.
I need to figure out how much sleep I need to be getting at night and I need to start getting it.
I need to start eating healthier and stop all the sugar and fast food.

I'm exhausted and I feel dizzy a lot of the time and it's because I'm running on empty and filling my tank with junk.
I have too many projects going at once that I'm ending up failing at them all.

And... one of my busiest times of the year at work is just days away.
I need to figure out a schedule that fits MY life.

I have a friend who gets up at 4 each morning and gets breakfast for her husband as he heads off to work.
Then she washes up the dishes and tidies the house. She says she can't stand to come home to a dirty house.
She's always pulled together and dresses stylishly.

She budgets her money carefully.
She plans out a menu plan for a MONTH in advance and shops and hunts down bargains.
She holds down a very creative but also very physical job and even puts in overtime.
She meets a group of retired people she knows for breakfast once a week
and she meets me for breakfast every other week
and she goes to her parents home one day a week before work and cleans their house.
She runs errands for them and takes them to the doctors for appointments and such.
She plans and prepares everyone's birthday/anniversary/holiday party
and most nights she goes to bed by 8.

Time management.
She's got it down pat.
It's true that she doesn't have any pets now
and she doesn't have any Art projects going
and she's doesn't get on the computer hardly EVER...

So, OK. We have different priorities but
she's working it out
and I'm just burning out.
So...
I need to get some sleep now
so that I can figure this out with a clear head.
Figure out a sleep schedule
A schedule to work on things that are important to me
Figure out a money budget
and start eating right and prepare ahead....
And....just to start feeling good again and
Happy.
Wish me Luck!
xo

Sunday, December 7, 2014

BLUE and SANTA (Santa's helper)

So....
I've been dealing with some stuff by stress eating and doing nothing but watching TV after I get home from work at night.
I just sit in my big chair and read Facebook, Instagram and blogs (and being too brain dead to comment) on my iPhone
while the Boob Tube is on.
Then one night on Facebook someone sent a post to my niece Lily about Santa.
THAT peaked my interest.
So Lily and I made a plan to go see him.
The four of us drove over to the Garden Center where he was at.
The four being Lily, her little dog Lucius and me and Blue.

(sidenote: Lily loves the Batman movies and Batman's faithful friend and helper was named Lucius Fox played by Morgan Freeman).

When we arrived the parking lot was dark and almost empty, yet Blue was full of excitement.
He jumped out of the van and "bounced" up and down.
When we went into the Garden Center, he started to gallop at the end of his leash through the store.
Workers called out to him and I remembered to tell them that he's deaf.
I always forget that.
They asked if they could give him treats and I laughed and said Yes!
He happily gobbled them up.
He was having SO MUCH FUN.
Lily spied where Santa was and she carried Lucius in that direction
as Blue loped behind her.
Blue saw Santa and...
had no reaction.
I lead him up to him and I don't think it was really Santa.
There was no, "Ho Ho Ho"
and no offer to hold Blue in his lap.
Yeah, must have been a "helper".

Now I don't view myself as a bossy person, unless we are talking about Blue.
Santa (Santa's helper) limply held his leash.
I turned around and it didn't look right to me so I asked the girl photographer to "Wait!"
I looped up the leash a bit and asked "Santa" to hold it HERE.
The photographer started to make some noises to get Blue's attention and I didn't even bother explaining.
Instead me and Lily just held up and waved around some treats.

After Blue's photo shoot, Lucius got his picture taken too.
Lily had to lay him in Santa's helper's lap and she called out to him.
He was terrified but it ended up as a great photo.
(Sadly I don't have that available to share right now. I need to get a copy from Lily)

Then we paid the girl and Blue followed Lucius and Lily back out
galloping all the way except for the faction of a second when he swiped a pig ear in a quick swoop
from an end display rack.
Luckily I saw it and quickly swooped it right back to the basket.

A few days ago the photos came in.
They turned out better than I thought.

I'm happy and
I think I need to take Blue on more little adventures.
He enjoyed that one so much!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

THANKSGIVING

I love this commercial.
So many times commercials kinda annoy me.
Like the one with the kid blowing bubbles with his straw into his chocolate milk and his little brother is laughing
and the mom happily chuckles and pulls out the paper towels and merrily wipes up the mess.
Come on!
I can almost hear the average mom yelling to stop making a mess! and throwing the roll of paper towels at the kid.
Yep. Makes me NOT want to buy whatever brand it was.

But THIS commercial I like.


The table is set in an apparent attempt to be pretty and simple.
But then they run out of plates and have to use vacation plates
and odd assortment of mugs.
I love it.

I, like probably most people in the blog world, lust after a beautifully set table.
The perfect decorations arranged around the house with a fire crackling in the fireplace in the background.
Music softly playing as fashionably dressed guests arrive through the snow in a sleigh.

But what I love about this commercial is the fact that all THAT doesn't REALLY matter.
It's just having family and friends gathered together and being thankful
and not having a bunch of hard to clean dirty dishes.
 
I'm going to my sisters home today for Thanksgiving dinner.
It will be her family plus a couple of my nieces boyfriends and
my step-mom and her husband.
A Modern family.

It's started to snow and I know that they will have a fire going.
Her home is usually eclectically decorated.
Picture frames will have been changed out and photos of past Thanksgiving in them instead.
Her umbrella stand usually holds an umbrella or two but also some random weird stick that she's found on a walk,
that she found to be "cool" and next to that will be a rug for shoes.
Well, I assume there's a rug but it's always piled high with everyone's shoes.

My brother-in-law will be frantically running around fixing the dinner
and my sister will slowly, calmly find whatever he needs in the utensil drawer or pantry.
Kind of a Ying and Yang, those two.

So I expect dinner to be nice
as long as no one brings up politics.
If someone does, there will be a war.

But it should be nice day
and in the evening, my sister will get ready to go to work at the hospital
and my brother in law will spread out the Black Friday ads on the dining room table
and ask her if there's something he needs to go out and get.
She will say "not really", but then point out a few things anyway
and then he will probably go out, much later because there's a department store that every year, late at night
for just a couple of hours, sells big huge thick dog beds
and their dog needs to have a new bed on Xmas.

Finally I will say I must leave because I need to let my dogs out
and they will say to come back after
but I'll remind them I have to be up early because the kennel is full at work.
So they will fix me a plate for dinner the next night and add a slice of pie.

I'll drive home through the snow covered streets
and faintly smile because everyone has now switched on their Christmas lights
and even though there are things going on in my life that I'm not happy about,
I will pull into my drive
and then open the front door to the chorus of my dogs.
I will let them outside and watched them through the window as they leap through the snow
and eat my slice of pie
and I will give Thanks and be Grateful.

Friday, November 21, 2014

A Moral to My Three Stories.

So I have been sick.
It totally wiped me out.
I still have a cough but feeling much better
I did miss a couple of days work and slept in until 7
I have a really hard time staying in bed, even when I feel horrible.
So I'd get up and stumble downstairs and let the dogs out and back in and then
collapsed in my big chair where I just dozed in and out all day.
I had no energy to do anything and I couldn't really get my thoughts together enough to form a sentence.
Finally the haze has lifted and I find myself really reflecting back on a couple of things that happened prior to my illness.

Halloween morning I was running a few minutes late on my way to work.
I hadn't planned on wearing a costume but the day before my co-workers had talked me into it. 
So because it was last minute I dressed as what most girls do when in a pinch.
I went as a black cat.
I wore ears and a tail and painted my eyes like a cat and drew whiskers on my face.
Doing this different make-up threw me off my normal routine of getting ready so I was hurrying to get out the door.
I jumped in my car and drove down my street, there wasn't hardly any traffic
but of course the light was red at the intersection.
I pulled up to the stoplight and waited for it to change.

There was a car to my left in the turn lane that was pulled up a few feet further than I was
and there was a car to my right also waiting on the signal.
At this particular stop there's a sign that reads "Obey your own signal" so no one turns on red there.

It was still very early, the sun was not completely up but it wasn't dark any longer either.
Just kinda of grey.
I sat at the light and reached over for my purse and double checked that I had my phone.
I did, so I set it back in the passenger seat .
Then the light turned green.
I stepped on the gas and out of the corner of my eye I saw something kinda flitter up to the left.
The car to the left had not turned although it was ahead of me and because of that flitter I stomped on my brake.
Suddenly there was a young girl, probably only about 12 or so, frozen in front of my car.
She must have realized my car was going forward and then for some reason just suddenly stopped in front of me. 
Her face was painted like a cat and the hood on her coat was down and I saw her black pointy ears.
She actually looked like I might have at her age. Her hair messy and her cheeks red from running.
She looked frightened and had that deer in the headlight look.
She stopped for that split second and then ran across the rest of the intersection.
There's a Middle School a few blocks further down, maybe she was late
although I thought it was too early for school to be starting.
I just Thank God that none of us in our cars had been in a huge hurry.
I drove to work so AWARE.
It was like someone had thrown ice water in my face.
In the matter of seconds and I could have killed her.
Her life could have been GONE.
Her family destroyed.
I don't know how I would have ever survived something like that.
Mere seconds and everything could have been so different. 
I couldn't help thinking there was something even bigger about all this that I needed to figure out.
That is was some sort of a sign, a lesson or maybe a moral. Something more than just  a reminder to drive very safely.

Then I started thinking about something else that I never shared here.
A couple of months ago I went in one of our exam rooms at work to say goodbye one of my boarders.
I had boarded this couple's two dogs, an old greyhound and a very old Whippet, for many many years.
Then the couple had adopted a younger whippet a year or two ago to kinda buffer the pain of the losses that they knew would soon come.
But last spring, their younger dog, the newest one, was diagnosed with some things that I won't go into here but eventually she was wasting away and they had to let her go.
They told me through tears that she was supposed to be their safety net. Their dog to help them through their grief
but instead they lost her first.
Now the greyhound who had been on almost a dozen different medications suddenly just couldn't go on.
He couldn't walk and he wouldn't eat and they had to let him go too.
They brought their ancient whippet along with so that he could realize what was going on.
They wanted him to realize that his friend had died so that he wouldn't be looking for him and wondering where he was.
We all sat on the floor and cried.
I said goodbye to the old greyhound and turned to pet the little whippet.
He had survived them all.
He looked at me hard. His gaze was intent and
I swear he was telling me with his eyes, "I'm still here!"

I suddenly thought of my grandfather.
He passed a few years back but I remember some 25 years ago rushing to the hospital when he had a heart attack.
Everyone was gathered around his hospital bed, so worried about him.
My grandmother didn't even know how to drive and was terrified of the possibility of a life without him.
My Dad talked about how my Grandfather needed to eat healthier from now on and
my Aunt was so shaken and shocked by the fact that she almost lost her Dad
and then...
One after the other, those three people have passed on and my grandfather lived many many more years.
He was retired but then got a part-time job, he dated several ladies and he even adopted himself a cat.
Yes, he's gone now too but who would have thought he'd be the last of them to go.

I'm boarding that little ancient whippet dog right now.
The couple has gone out and rescued two more whippets, both 9 years old.
So I actually boarding all three.
They all have fleecy winter coats that they wear outside in this bad weather
and today as I velcroed the old dog's belt around him, I looked at him at had that thought again.
He's 16...and I swear he has more spring in his step than ever. 

So what do these three tales have in common you might say?
Well. maybe it's just that you can't really plan anything.
That things will happen and not happen,
Life goes on.
Just because we are a certain age that may sometimes seem old to us,
it doesn't mean we might not have more years left than someone much younger.
Maybe the moral is that no matter what, what's going to happen it's going to happen.
Or not happen.
Maybe it's about fate, some cosmic plan or maybe it's God
Maybe it's just to say enjoy TODAY.

The other morning I was running a few minutes behind again and as I got to the bridge, the drawspan was open.
I had to turn around and drive to the other bridge, but I didn't hurry.
I just drove to work and didn't feel stressed
When I got to work, I was only a few minutes past the time I'm usually there, still earlier than almost everyone else.
I later told a co-worker that I think there was a reason for me being late by just a few minutes.
That maybe I missed something that I was suppose to miss.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

NO POST TODAY

I'm SICK 
and feeling -

futile


adjective
1.
incapable of producing any result; ineffective; useless; not successful:
Attempting to write anything worthwhile by the sick blogger was futile.
2.
trifling; frivolous; unimportant.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN?!

I was so looking forward to this extra hour.
Daylight Savings Time, Wahoo!
How could I have forgotten that last year it took the dogs a few WEEKS to get into the time change groove.
At 4:30 AM this morning I could hear Blue pacing.
His nails clicking on the wood floor.
I felt, rather than saw him come to the side of the bed and stare at my face.
I couldn't open my eyes, if I did that, game over.
If he knew I was awake he'd gallop for the door and wake them all up.
So kept my eyes closed and tried to will both myself and him back to sleep 
but then he hit the door a couple of times with his paw.
Maybe he's got an upset tummy, I thought. 
Last night he vomited up his dinner but he seemed fine later..but maybe he was sick again.
Great Dane vomit. or worse yet, Great Dane poop would not be something I'd want to be cleaning up.
Especially at 4:30 in the morning.
So I sat up and everyone started barking in excitement.
Downstairs they ran and I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to bed.
Once I'm up, I'm up and besides it was actually 5:30 if not for the time change.
After everyone had pottied, they ran around the living room knocking down pillows and being rowdy.
I made some coffee and sat down to the computer.
A little bit later I look over and there they were....

Lazy bones!

I made some breakfast and answered early morning texts from other people who know I'd be up
and I cruised around on some new blogs.
The sun is coming in now and Charlie wants out on the porch that is crammed full of all the garden things that I dragged in from the yard.
That's my project for today.
To clear out the porch and to rearrange my furniture again.
I have so many plants that I've brought in from the cold and I need a place to put them until Spring.
When this chore is done I'm usually happy because my tiny space looks like a greenhouse
but placement is crucial so that the cats don't feast on them
or the dogs try to dig in the dirt.
Yep, that's how I'm spending this day.
And I have some wicked satisfaction of sweet revenge because Charlie keeps hitting the doorknob
in his effort to get out to the porch.

The sound of it is like someone trying to get inside
and it wakes the dogs!
Ha!