Wednesday, October 22, 2014

MY HOUSE

My home.
A port from life's daily storms.
Sometimes I will post tiny snippets of it
but I never share the whole thing.
Part of the reason is because I do want to keep it private but
mostly because it's far from being "done" and definitely doesn't measure up to the homes on my blog feed.
I'm slowly working on it but it's taking me forever.
It's due to lack of money and also time.
I work a physically demanding job and when I come home, I don't always feel like working on the house.
So it's taking me YEARS.
I know some people aren't concerned with such things 
but I'm obsessed with decor and design.
It's obviously not because I'm trying to impress people
because I basically don't let many people inside my home.
I know it's for myself, my own satisfaction and  the feeling of peace as I step inside the door to my private space.

Lately I feel like it's creating me stress.
Stress, because I've been a bit overwhelmed emotionally lately
(I'll share at a later date)
and it's been a struggle to just maintain order.
And also I'm having stress because I have a friend I recently reconnected with, after decades
and who wants to come to my home. 
I've said we should meet up for lunch but this friend is constantly requesting to meet Ghost
and Blue and....
asking how many pets I have 
and.....
I don't feel like it's mean spirited at all but it's freaking me out.
I've seen images of this person's home
and I'm thinking I could fit my house into the foyer of hers.
and...I don't want to be judged, critiqued or whatever.
I'm not saying she would necessarily judge me but we are now from two entirely different worlds.
This is my refuge, my safe place
and I don't need the pressure.
Some day I hope to have my house to a point that I won't be self conscious about every little thing
but it's not there yet.
I've tried to nicely convey my thoughts
and truly I don't understand why there is such a need to come here.
I've had been working hard on my home
but right now I just want to stop.
Relax and mess it up with art stuff.

It's nice that technology has enabled us to reconnect with people from our pasts
but hermits like me, are hermits for a reason.
That being said...
I love having people like my niece Lily over.
She comes over and flops down in my big chair and chats.
She opens my refrigerator and doesn't comment on the items inside but just grabs some cheese to munch on.
She eats the Halloween candy that's sitting on the shelf with my art supplies and
she looks at things I'm working on and gets excited.
She joins me on the patio and helps me scoop poop
and plays with my dogs.
She doesn't seem to notice that I still have sample paint colors painted on the wall in the kitchen
or that the bathroom still doesn't have the wallpaper done.
I've had other people who have come over and asked me to put my dogs outside
as they excitedly jump up. I've told them that my dogs are just happy to see them and will settle down in a minute
but I can feel my shoulders tense tight and I feel uncomfortably as their eyes scan around the room taking in the chaos.
I hear myself explaining how I'm doing laundry or working on a project or.....
The thing is, when you live in a teeny tiny house where when you walk in and you are instantly in the living room that turns into the kitchen that turns into the laundry room...
Well, yeah. It's all THERE
right in front of you.
Sigh....

So that's just a tiny bit of the stress that's been bugging me.
I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of defending why this or that isn't done.
I'm tired of saying I have no extra dollars.
I'm tired of having no energy.
I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me.
I'm tired of feeling like I must spend my time on projects on the home when I just want to work on my art/books.
and I'm REALLY tired of people asking how many pets I have and making jokes that I live in a zoo.
All my pets are very well cared for.
I make sure they have what they need even if it means I buy the special food for them and eat cereal for myself.
Besides, I love cereal.

It's easy for me to complain here but hard for me to convey that to the people who don't even realize how much their comments and requests stress me out.
So... I'm really thinking hard about how to deal with THIS
because I have some OTHER things going on that I have to figure out too.
My usual method is to pull out my big scissors and cut the ties, the strings that reach out to tie up my thoughts.

OK, I've got that off my chest!
and here's a photo I found over HERE.

Funny that I love white so much but this just jumped out and grabbed me.
It's how I truly want my home to be.
Warm, safe, comfortable and private....
and no concerns about keeping up with the Joneses, or whoever.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

16 seconds of BLUE

So much has been going on.
Stuff that is better that I don't post on the Internet.
Problems at work.
Disagreements, misunderstandings and MAJOR STRESS,
but it's all been resolved so I'm just "LETTING IT GO".
Wiping it from my mind.
Starting fresh....
sigh.
But hey, here's 16 seconds of Blue!


Sunday, October 5, 2014

BODY HEAT

I've been really looking forward to Fall.
I love the Autumn colors 
and the cooler temperatures.
Yesterday when I woke up it was 58 degrees in the house
and 39 outside!
I refused to turn on the heat.
I grew up with a Dad who would say -
"Put another sweater on if you're cold!"
So we toughed it out because temps are supposed to climb a little bit.
In the meantime, the critters were using body heat to stay comfy.
Hattie is in the back, Raini in the middle and Louie snoozing in the front.

Then Ghost crawled in...

Pretty soon Mimsy walked up,
"Is there room for me?"
"NO!" they all grumbled.
"Sure there is!" exclaimed Mimsy

She climbed in - "I'll just sort of circle in right over here..."

"Oh Lord! This is ridiculous! I'm outta here!" said Ghost



Mimsy smirked with satisfaction as Hattie noticed the camera and posed.

Louie woke up "I can't breathe! Someone's on top of me,!"

Raini sat up, saw Nora and said "OH NO!" 
"I'm leaving before SHE tries to get in here!"

And then I said "Want to go outside?"
and everyone except the cats did.



Wednesday, October 1, 2014

YESTERDAY


was Poppy's birthday.
She's six.
She's been mine for..two or is it three years?
I don't really care how long she's been here,
I prefer not to even think about that except to wish she had been here her whole life.
It was hard for me to imagine anyone giving her away. I know I could never do it.
But when she was given to me, her then mom said she was a very picky eater and most times just wouldn't eat.
She also said that Poppy refused to come out her kennel and be with their family.
She said she'd take her out and she would run right back in and just sit there.
Hmmm.
She eats just fine here. In fact she runs up to me and gives me one or two tiny little "barks" in the morning
and then again in the evening, that clearly says "Where's my food?"
I used to put her in her kennel to eat and she would hurry so fast and then bark to be let out, that sometimes she would throw up.
Now she just waits for her turn to eat in the laundry room.
I feed Blue first, by himself.
And then I feed Jimmy and Nora.
Then the rest of the little ones
and lastly, Poppy, Claude and ancient blind Rosie.
They get the "special" little teeny tiny dog bites food.
Those three eat very very slow, so that's the reason they eat last.
Poppy likes to take a piece of kibble out one at a time and place it on the floor, look at it and then place another and another.
She's like a kid with M & M's, sorting them out by color.
She does it at every meal and then she goes back and eats them.
Sometimes Rosie will stumble upon one and eat it and Poppy will stand there and just look at her, kinda stunned
and then she will hurry and go get another piece.
And Claude? He tiptoes between the girls, takes a mouthful and backwards away and munchies.
Back and forth he goes
It's like a well choreographed little dance.
And the thing that really gets me about Poppy is how, somehow...
by some miracle, she has helped heal my heart after my Ruby's passing.
Just looking at her little face or feeling her tiny little body pressed against my shoulder as I drift off to sleep,
suddenly makes it very clear why she didn't fit into her previous home
and was meant to come live with me.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

REMEMBER ME?

Uh yeah, So that blog break lasted much longer than I had planned.
Actually though it wasn't really planned at all.
I kinda lost the drive to write after that whole back stabbing lying ordeal
and then it was so busy at work and it still is!
Usually it slows down when the kids go back to school but people are still traveling.
I guess I shouldn't whine about it...it keeps me employed.
Then just when I started to feel like blogging again I started having computer problems.
I also had my oil light come on in my vehicle so I took it in for an oil change
and of course they found I needed shocks and struts and a serpentine belt.
So I charged that and then the next week I couldn't back out of the driveway.....
Long long boring story but MAJOR repairs to brakes and things that added up to BIG $$$
More credit card charging.
And then my laptop went black and never came back.
Sigh....
The good news is I found this great company that sells refurbished laptops at very reasonable prices 
(more"cha-ching") but I finally have a working laptop and so far it appears to be a step up from what I had!

So I'm back!
I have a lot to write about but not sure where to start.

I did try to read blogs on my phone but I have a horrible time trying to comment,
Finally,  I just didn't.
I lurked.
Facebook was easy to do, so I spent a lot of time over there and
I do LOVE Instagram, it kept me in touch with the world
and I now have quite the collection of boarding pets photos that we've posted on our vet clinic's FB page.
And if I say so myself, I'm kinda proud of them and the reason why is because
we had a professional photographer come in and take shots of our own pets and then she enlarged them onto canvases and hung them around the clinic.
Most of us were extremely unhappy. She cut the ears off of almost every pet and some she cut their noses off!
A few turned out nice but on the average I was really surprised that they weren't better since they are "professional".
I'm not one to usually blow my own horn but my phone photos at least got the pet's whole head and captured their personality.
So I will share some of those photos... but not today.
Instead I'll share a painting that I did.
One of the veterinarians asked me to paint her dog and you all know my bad experiences in the past
but she had found my blog and read about it and reassured me that it would not happen with her.
And really, she's one of my bosses LOL! so of course I did it.
So here's the photograph of her dog:

and here's the painting I did:

She was SUPER HAPPY, which made me SUPER HAPPY and she paid me.
That always makes me happy. 
She had told me no rush and of course that made me drag my feet but then I felt bad about doing that,
so I also did an illustration of her little dog too.
Something she could keep on her desk.

This is what I truly enjoy doing.
The illustrations.....which yeah, I'm still not done with my Kanga book.
Actually haven't worked on THAT at all while on the blog break.
Instead I was very busy with another activity...

But now I'm back!
I will try to get into the swing of REGULAR posting
between doing  the house and yard and work and life stuff
But truly, I've missed you all and I hope you are still out there reading!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Sunday, August 10, 2014

for TAMMY

My friend Tammy (http://peanutonthetable.com/)
is just the sweetest kindest woman
and she has Malignant Hypertension.
She has to keep her BP down and is taking medication for it.
She recently tore her rotator cuff and will be needing surgery
but has to get some of these medical issues under control first.
And there's the worry of heart problems too.
She's been told to stay calm, cool and positive.
So this post is for Tammy
and if everyone could just take a moment and send out positive healing thoughts her way.
Or say a prayer with her in mind, This little lady could use it.
I've gone through my Pinterest account and posted some calm, happy images.
I think visual images can definitely have a calming effect. At least I hope so!
These are for you Tammy! ....







OOPS, this one might not be good for the Blood Pressure! LOL!






xoxo