Thursday, January 29, 2015

A Thank You, New NEWS, Hattie and Blue.

(I have no idea what happened to the garbage!)

First, A BIG THANK YOU for all the kind and caring comments on my last post.
You all lifted me up and made me feel not so alone.
And Thank you for all the encouragement and advice!
It means more to me than you will ever know that I have such wonderful friends out in blogland.

and...Well, I have some NEWS!
Actually I was going to wait to share because I didn't want to jinx it 
but I can't keep it in.

OK, so I mentioned how I was going to let go of some stuff
and pursue other projects?
Well, I had my name in at a couple of places for a "Booth".
Both places have very long waiting lists. One was for over a year wait and I'd been on the list since September and my name hadn't hardly moved up the list at all.
I was going to paint furniture and collect stuff from Estate Sales and such
and sell it.
After talking with my friend about these things, she said she thought I'd be spending valuable time
pursuing and painting things just to make money and I would hate it.
So I decided to drop my name off of the lists.
One of the places is a big junk of a place but it gets a lot of traffic although it always has a strong mildewy smell.
My thought was to fix-up and repaint furniture and make some signs and try to stand out in the crowd of collectibles and garage sale stuff.
Yep. Needed to let that idea go.

The other place is new.
Well, a new business.
Not a new building, but I will share more about THAT later.
It's only been open for about a year but it has really taken off.
It sells Art and Antiques.
and jewelry and soaps and cards and has a Farmers Market on Sundays in the warmer months.
So i went in there last Saturday and was going to take my name off the list for a booth.
I walked around and looked at things. 
I really like that place.
When I finally saw that no one was at the counter, I walked up to the owner and said that I had my name of the list
and she nodded
and then I said I'd like to change it and requested instead a wall space with possibly room for a small table or chest beneath.
That's when she said that she thought she'd be calling me soon and that a wall space should be opening in the next month.

Suddenly I felt excitement.
I could paint my paintings, illustrations, cards, art dolls.....
And once I got rolling I'd have things for an Etsy shop too.
Right afterwards Vicki sent me a great link about opening an Etsy shop.
Talk about a sign!
So, if I'm gone from here for a bit, don't worry.
I'm just busy working on Art stuff for this new business.
I want to be ready for when she calls me!

And I thought I'd share a few recent photos.
The one at the top is Hattie.
I had gone upstairs for a few minutes and came down to find the trash dumped in the kitchen.
I had thrown away an old roll.
I'm sure Jimmy knocked it over but obviously Hattie helped!
(I have since gotten a waste can that fits inside the cabinet under the sink.)

and then there's these photos of Blue.
I took him to work for a nail trim. 
He sits up on a bale and gives kisses as the girls trim them up.
At home he hides under the kitchen table and won't let me touch his feet!

While at work I weighed him.

He's been as high as 174 lbs. which was way too fat.
I had gotten him down to 132 lbs but with less activity in the winter months,
his weight is back to 145.
He's not happy about that, but then who's happy when on a scale?

and here's another photo of him.
A close-up.
Titled "9 years 2 months and 13 days old and still a Puppy."

OK! I'm off to work on some Art now!
See you soon and thanks again for being there!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015


Um, yeah I'm still here. Sorry that I haven't been posting much but....
I've been....
I hate to use the word but I can't think of anything else to describe my feelings.
I hate it.
I've tried to think about my favorites things.
I've tried to think about all that I'm grateful for.
I mean, who am I to be depressed?!
There are so many people in this world who have it so much worse than I.
I need to work on my Art.
Art Saves, right?
But I couldn't even think, to focus, let alone think creatively.
And writing?
How can I "write" when I can't even write a blog post?
I came home at night and did - nothing.
Truly, nothing except feed and pick up after my pets and do laundry and then... 
A week ago Tuesday, after our staff meeting I went back to my boarding area and cried 
and cried. I was on the verge of hysteria but then I had to run a dog up front 
and then bring back a couple and then I had two different people who stopped by 
to visit with some of the long term boarders. 
I was gulping in air and splashing cold water on my wrists and pressed cold paper towels to the back of my neck.
Then I stepped outside and took in a deep breath of air and pretended to be OK.
Meryl Streep watch out!
That night I came home, let the dogs out to potty and let them back in and sat down in my big chair
and fell asleep for two hours with my coat and shoes on.
I hadn't even fed the dogs yet!

It's best that I not discuss the exact source of my angst but .....
Maybe I'm too emotional and sensitive.
Maybe I should just not give a shit.
Maybe I need more SUNLIGHT.'s more than that...

And yes, I have friends, both here and in the blog world who are there for me
to encourage me and tell me to
"Work on your book!"
But I was feeling beaten down and trivialized which left me
void of the ability to do anything more than exist.

There's a whole lot that I'm leaving out, but I must.
It's not that I'm trying to be mysterious.
I just trying to convey why my head and heart has been so messed up without actually giving the details.
Those of you that have been here for a while most likely can fill in the blanks anyway...
So there's where I've been

and also two of my longtime boarding dogs,
dogs that I've taken care of for YEARS
passed away this yeah, there was that too.

But I must say, Thank god for friends and the Internet
It  really helps my heart to read blog posts and escape from my own little part of the world.

I was finally able to shake it off a bit last weekend and focus a tiny bit on my Kanga book

I have it all roughly sketched out and I had someone who is an English teacher and
who wants to write her own book about grammar and punctuation, go over what I had written.
I chewed on my pinky nail and paced behind her.
I stopped each time when she uttered an "Ohhh, that's sweet".
She said she really liked my story and she only had to add a few commas. 
That made me so bold as to share some of my ideas about my illustrations and said she thought they sounded "cool".
That helped my psyche some.

and then I got some nudges from a dear friend that I have never met and
I worked on it some more.
I've been trying to be upbeat and focused
and then one of my close friends had one of her dogs have a major health emergency.
It's still not certain how things will go, it's kinda of a wait and see and pray thing.
So I need to be grateful for the health of my gang
and not let people wound me so deeply and not worry so much. 

Then today I had breakfast with my very bestest of friends.

She is like a sister to me and her eyes filled with tears to hear how down I've been.
We talked about so many things and she knows me so well.
She helped me figure out what to let go,
what not to pursue and
what to pursue with all my heart.

She had just returned from a big buying trip at the Atlanta Home, Gift, Apparel Trade show
and she said as she was being shown things by vendors she kept thinking of me.
She said it reminded her of my work and she wished she was buying my creations.
So I asked her if she thought I should make this or that or....
She interrupted and said she thought I should create whatever made me happy.

Then told her that I think I know what was blocking me from finishing this book.
I think it's because I so badly want this to be the answer to my problems
and if I finish it and then it flops ....well, there goes what could be,
my only hope.
She just smiled and said "You can do it".
I told her that I have blogger friends that have been encouraging me and have faith in me
and several co-workers have been cheering me on and she said
"You can do it"
and damn it, I will!