Wednesday, September 8, 2010

MY OBITUARY?!

OK, this post might creep ya out a little bit but that is not my intention. Several incidents have happened recently that have got me thinking about my obituary. Well, sure the main one would be when MY SISTER asked if I had a "will" and instructions for what I wanted done when I died....................
OK, my first reaction wasn't happiness but when you stop and think about it, it is good to have a PLAN. It would also ease my heart to know that she just doesn't have Animal Control back up their van in my driveway and load it up.

Yep, I can see where that could be a definite possibility! I HAVE told her that in the event of an early demise, she is to put my animals in the care of my youngest niece "Lily" and my good friend Amber who is the Head Vet Technician where I work.
OK, now for the other incidents that got me thinking about it again...
This past week a couple of my Blogger friends have sadly lost their beloved pets. And while in the animal world I suppose you could say that they had lived long lives, but to us humans their time with us was too fleeting and yet long enough to leave a big hole in our hearts.
Then over the weekend I was outside watering my flowers. It was that time of night, dusk/twilight when it's no longer light out but it's not really dark yet either. I was absent-minded as I watered the patch of flowers between the sidewalk and the street. I live on a busy street but being a holiday weekend there really wasn't any traffic. Just a random car every now and then. It was so magical and still. Just the sound of the water spraying on the flowers.Then a few feet to my right I could just barely see something fluttering back and forth over the flowers, briefly touching their faces and swooshing backward again. I strained my eyes to see. Was it a dragonfly?

Or maybe a little hummingbird? I just couldn't tell.  I know that my nieces would have said it was a fairy and I was entranced. It kept fluttering back and forth and away when I would lean forward to investigate. This went on for a few moments and then as it fluttered back out again, a big SUV whizzed by. It was gone. I frantically searched the air. Nothing. Probably swept up into the grill of that car...so small that they would never realize...is it wrong to feel profound sadness over something that I was just barely sure was there?

Then there's the little dog that boarded at my kennel this weekend. Every time my owner brings her in I can feel myself holding my breath during her whole stay. She's almost 16 years old, weighs 3 lbs and 2 oz. and has lost most  of her hair. She SHOULD look like this:

She's a little black Pomeranian. that you have to carefully stand on her feet or she falls over. Once she balances herself, she'll kinda stagger and then run like a little spider.

So over the weekend the girls would call me with different questions and I'd ask how Brandy was doing. She had developed diarrhea and the Doc had put her on medication for it and she was having more trouble than usual standing. She was eating, but just barely. I was praying that she would hang on until Tuesday morning when her mother would be back in town.
So Tuesday morning I got into work early. Brandy was a mess. We bathed her and I went to call her Mom but she was just walking in our front door. I explained how she was no longer able to control going to the bathroom and how she wouldn't stand. I hate this part of my job. The woman was devastated even though she knew it could happen at any time. I was just glad that the little dog had hung on until her Mom came back. So her Mom released her to Heaven.
So you can see how these series of incidents would make my mind go back to the obituary thing.
Then I started to think...if I wrote it as I wished it to read, it could be a positive thing. A little map to help me get back on track of what's really important to me. So, I'm working on it. I want it to say that I was surrounded by love. Love of my animals and friends and family. I want it to say that I was true to myself and enjoyed my life to the fullest. I want it to say that I loved creating and that I was a  caretaker of rescued animals. That I didn't need the expensive trappings of life but took pleasure in the simplest of things.
AND then yesterday was full of JOY. The weather cooled down to 67 degrees and it was SO windy. I LOVE windy days. I was with 3 of my dogs and another little "boarding" dog at work and we were outside in the big enclosed grass covered play area. The dogs were speeding by in huge circles as they played. Blue was romping around and the day was so glorious that I wanted to take my shoes off and twirl in the green grass like a little kid with my arms searched out in the sheer joy of being alive.

But I didn't. I might have missed a "poop" and I didn't want everything to screech to a halt! LOL!
So, Life is Good. And I see no reason why I can't squeeze another 50 more years out of it. Beatrice Wood did and so did Georgia O'Keefe. So I'm going to start on the obit. and then put it away. I know that  I want it to say that I was a FOLK ARTIST. I am going to start calling myself that even though I feel scandalous doing so. But it's kinda like being in the corporate world. You have to dress the part and act the part BEFORE you can get the part (job). If you do that, then other people can visualize you in the part also.
I know there's some saying that goes something like Luck is 90% of being prepared and 10% of being in the right place at the right time.
I also want the obit to say something like "she lived her first 50 years like a Golden Retriever"

Happy, friendly, hardworking and an eagerness to please. Loyal to a fault and would always be there even when she got kicked, she come back and try again.
"And her second 50 years she was like a cat."

Loving to those who deserved it. Reserved, aloof and made people accept her on her own terms.
And if she was kicked, she would run away and wait...
until your guard was down and you were sleeping
and then she's run up and bite your feet threw the covers!

I also want my ashes scattered with my beloved pets on a cool windy day. And then I want my friends and relatives to dance barefoot in the grass celebrating my life.
And if I decide to have a gravestone to mark a place in my favorite cemetery, I want it to say "I'll be Back!
So as morbid as it sounded to me in the beginning,
I now think it's a good idea.
A way to remind myself what is really important to me
and how I really want to live my life.

10 comments:

sassypackrat said...

Wonderful! You go for those other 50 girl!

yoborobo said...

Cindi, my friend, you are wise beyond your years. I don't think any of this is morbid. I think you are taking stock, and looking ahead to what you really want. You are thinking about what you want to leave behind, what is important. This is beautifully written. You print a copy of this, and tuck it in a drawer. :)) Love to you! xox

Georgina said...

You've given us food for thought. There's nothing morbid about writing your obit right now because you just never know.

I love what you said and actually are hoping we are still bloggy friends the next 50 years...I'll be 108!! LOL

xxoo,
Georgina

The cottage by the Cranelake said...

A great idea! I´m about to do much the same, even if most of my friends already knows how I want things to be done if I have to go.

Take care now!
Christer.

The cottage by the Cranelake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kaerie Faerie said...

Hey great post, and 50 is not old, I'm older HEHE, but love the pictures and that little spider-sprite is the cutest thing I've ever seen, and all the kitty pics YAY
Karey

ODD imagination said...

I've been bopping around the blog-o-sphere and who do I see every where I go? You! LOL! We like the same stuff - he he :o)

julie Haymaker thompson said...

Call your self a fold artisit yes YES !!that is right and true to do !!! But ALSO call Yourself a very good writer as I loved reading this too!!!

DaleTheDoll said...

Your human mind is much too complex for me. Tell me, do your dogs chew on dolls? I was hoping to find a new human to live with....

Nita {ModVintageLife} said...

Cindi -
You are so good at expressing yourself through words. Call yourself a folk artist (because you are), a writer (because you are) and you also care for and protect animals that need it. A true success. Just keep doing it for another 50 years.

I struggle to with these thoughts. Is that all there is? I held my breath when you described the thing you saw fluttering in the air while you watered. It probably just flew away.

I try to just be happy by enjoying in the everyday amazing things that happen like....
the little humming bird that flies to the window to look at me while I stand there watching it. So precious.