Thursday, January 28, 2016


My little Rosie, a 16 1/2 yr old Papillon, went to Heaven this morning.
In my avatar/logo, she's the little dog that I've drawn in the crook of my arm.
She had become frail, blind and only had one tooth left.
She didn't even weigh 5 lbs anymore.
BUT she was still sassy, barking for her dinner and wobbling to her potty pad afterwards to do her business.
She looked pretty bad but I vowed that as long as she was eating, I'd do nothing but care for her.
Squeak took a liking to her and against her protests would back himself onto her bed and eventually cuddle with her.
Yesterday I came home and found her very limp.
At first I thought she might have passed but after putting some cool water on her tongue that always hung out, she blinked her eyes a bit.
I sat her next to the water bowl and she was unsteady and couldn't stand but for a minute.
I gave her a bath, she smelled like she must have urinated on herself.
I dried her up and held her for a while.
I offered her some of her usual food but she had no interest.
I added warm water, still nothing.
I got out the canned food that she would normally gobble down and still, no interest.

Afterwards I gave Squeak a bath too and dried him until he was fluffy.
He's so tiny. I can feel his bones.
I feed him a big bowl of his special prescription diet canned food and when he was finished, he tiptoed over to her bed and cuddled up to Rosie.
I feed the other dogs and looked over to see that Squeak had moved to another dog bed.
That sight filled me with dread.
I scooped her up and held her and sat with her in my arms while I read things on the Internet and typed out comments with one hand.
Finally I returned her to her bed.
I put a towel in the dryer for a few minutes and then tucked it around her so she would feel the warmth and I went to bed.

When I woke in the morning, my head feared the worse but my heart hoped for a miracle.
She was still alive but....
I bundled her up and took her to work.
As soon as Doc arrived, my friend who is one of the head techs got him and he released Rosie from her tired body.
I thanked him for the extra 5 years he gave me with her after that accident in August of 2011.
He played a big part in saving her when others would have let her go back then.
He said it was definitely time, that her body was worn out but
that I had done a great job taking care of her.
That caught me by surprise as he usually doesn't say things like that.

So... It's still January and I have now lost 2 of my clan.
I hope that's it for this year.
Here's a photo of her from a few years ago.
I didn't want to post her photo as she was today.
I'd rather remember her like this.

She always enjoyed sitting on the heat vent and having the blower go on and blast her with air.
Like a little Marilyn Monroe on the street grate.
Funny how something that tiny, can leave such a big whole in a persons heart.
Sigh... Getting old sucks.


CheerfulMonk said...

I'm so sorry.

Butterfly 8)(8 Bungalow said...

Poor Rosie. What a precious doll! What a wonderful home you gave her for the past five years. I am so sad for you. We love them so much. xoxo Su

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you Jean.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you Su,
Actually I had her for 6 1/2 years. The accident happened while I was working in the backyard and digging up the pole for the laundry line. It fell on her. I didn't even know she was there... But ultimately she survived, after doing mouth to nose respirations and rush her to vet and getting meds to reduce swelling on brain and chiropractic care to get her walking again... Yes, I almost lost her then, that was 5 years ago.

Anne Specht said...

Oh Cindi, I am so sorry to her about your loss. Boo hoo, it makes me want to cry. What a sweet picture you have to remember her by and most of all, the love you both gave each other. Dog heaven gets another angel.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you so much for commenting Anne and for all the kind words.

leslie said...

i am so, so sorry. there aren't really words to say… sending love.

tammy j said...

sitting here with tears streaming. that tiny face.
and the thought of squeak protecting her and choosing her to cuddle with. it just touches my heart.
i'm glad too that you put a beautiful picture of her here.
it does her honor.
oh cindi. hugs to you darling girl.
i know that hole well. only you have to endure it over and over and over again.
thank god for people like you who can endure that and still do all that you do for them. for taking them into your life and giving them life right until the end.
and i think the doc saying that to you means he finally really sees you. the you inside. and he values you.
XOXOXOXOXO♥ I would send hugs all across this page to you my girl.
my dear friend.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you so much Leslie,
Your kind words do mean a lot to me.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you Tammy.
I just couldn't bear to post the way she looked today.
I have to admit that today I've been thinking long and hard about taking anyone else in. And the fact that so many of the others are elderly is making me anxious.
I don't know if Doc values me or not but I think he knows that I won't give up on my pets easily....
Thanks so much for your kind words. Xoxo

An Urban Cottage said...

You provided her a very dignified end of life. I can't imagine anyone else taking care of her the way you did. I know she'll be sorely missed.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you Steve,
Your kind words truly mean so much.
I guess I didn't realize how much she was a part of my daily routine and it's a constant reminder.
I miss her sassy self.
Thanks for commenting.

Doreen@househoneys said...

As usual, Tammy said everything I was feeling, but so much more eloquently than I ever could.

You're such a good soul Cindi. Thank goodness there are people like you...people that can look into the eyes of an old, sick animal and see so much more than that. People who can endure heartache after heartache for the sake of gods creatures. People who never give up, no matter how weary they become.

You're my hero, and I'm so very sorry for your loss.



Cindi Myers said...

Now I'm crying.
Thank you so much.

Jan said...

So sad and sorry but happy for little Rosie to be free of the restraints of her body now. It was time and she was able to tell you that, and you, good soul, heard her. Hugs.

Janneke said...

So sorry to hear of the loss of Rosie, on last photo she looks as such a funny girl warming up on the heat vent. So glad that you could give her five happy years, you are so very very good for animals. That's why I'm following you I love animals and the people who care for them, like you.

Cindi Myers said...

What a lovely way to express what had to be done.
Thank you so much.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you Janneke,
Thank you very much!

Sugar Ellis said...

No words, just sorrow.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you Sharon,

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

Cindi, I missed this post in the rush of my week. But to tell you that I'm sorry, doesn't begin to say it, but I truly am. I know how hard these losses can be, coming so close together. But I hope you find comfort in knowing what a difference you made for Rosie. Her good long life is a true testiment to your love and devotion and the care you gave to your beautiful girl. I also read your latest post about people saying that you care too much -- I've heard that before too. Maybe *we* do, but someone has too. I can never remember a time in my life, even as a young girl, when I didn't care for a homeless animal. This is who *we* are, and it's part of what we're supposed to do. Find comfort in your memories, and never doubting that you are making and have made a difference, not just to precious Rosie, but to so many others too.

Again, I am so, so sorry.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you so much Kim!
Your words are a real comfort.
I know that you go through the same thing all the time.
Thank you for taking the time to stop and leave me such a heartfelt comment.

Gillian said...

I’m so sorry. It’s never easy iis it?
She was a lucky girl to have you. You do such a great job caring for your family. Big hug. x

Vicki said...

Oh god... looking at her darling little face...

I've just written an epic at your next post, and can't go into more here.
That you give these wee souls a home filled with love and care at all ages in their lives, fills me with so much for admiration for you.

Gorgeous girl - you have a heart of pure gold.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you!
No, never easy, even though I knew she couldn't live forever...
Thank you.

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you Vicki!