and sending my thoughts out to The Universe.
It has to be said: It's not easy.
But anything worthwhile isn't usually easy.
It's really been a real eye opener though,
on how quick I've been to think negatively.
I hope it's not human nature to be that way.
It's just little things.
Like at work when I encounter people who might not be so nice.
It still happens but instead, I'm letting it go and not giving it much thought
and focusing on the good people I talk to and know.
Instead of letting it build up and eat at me, I'm thinking about my future.
I'm feeling grateful for what I have now and what I WILL have.
What is coming towards me.
I'm believing it into being.
Last post I shared about my car.
How I had traded it for safety, security and happiness.
The next day on Sunday I went out to it to run some errands.
It wouldn't start.
I called my sister and she and my niece came over to jump it and still... no luck.
Since I have my warranty, I called and had it towed into the dealership.
Luckily they have a shuttle service that came to my house on Monday morning and drove me to work.
While making small talk in the Shuttle Van, I started to say to the guy that I hoped it wasn't anything major.
Then I stopped that train of thought and said
"But I'm sure it will be something simple!"
The driver gave me a surprised look and said with a laugh
"That's a positive attitude!"
Later, it turned out to be just the battery.
I got a new Honda one. One that lasts for 8 years
and they gave me my first (free) oil change and tire rotation.
Then the shuttle service came and got me on my lunch hour and took me to my car.
Car problems have never been this easy for me!
Then a few days later something else happened to me.
I needed to deposit a check that I had been keeping.
Full disclosure. I save all things paper.
Receipts, coupons, post-it notes, index cards with grand ideas scribbled on them.
I have bills, letters and well... you get the idea.
Important paper is kept in the top drawer of my desk,
or in my handbag,
or in the top drawer of the cabinet in the living room,
or in a book on the shelf
OK, yes I have a problem.
And when it gets overwhelming, I will go around with a plastic bag and fill it with the papers
and tie the top and carry it upstairs and put the bag in a closet.
So, you see... it looks neat, but actually it's just hidden chaos.
So I desperately needed to deposit that check.
After all I had just bought that new battery.
And for the life of me, I could not find it.
I searched for it for quite a while until I gave up and went to bed.
I laid there thinking.. it's probably in the Other cabinet, top drawer....
In the morning I resumed my search.
I was starting to get teary eyed and so very mad at myself.
It was no where to be found.
Finally I made a promise to myself, to Glinda the Good Witch and to The Universe.
If I could only find it, I would once and for all get rid of all my paper clutter!
I took a deep breath, poured myself some coffee and sat down at my desk.
I pulled the top drawer open AGAIN.
There was a card laying on top and I flipped it open.
I know that I had looked inside that card before but
there was the check.
Truly, I had goosebumps.
OK. so here's the plan.
I'm getting rid of the paper.
Burning it and putting what I MUST keep in one box.
But this has now also snowballed another thought into action.
It's a HUGE goal, (for me) but here it is;
In exactly FOUR weeks from today I will start a one week vacation.
Each weekend until then, I have off.
After my vacation I will start a six day workweek including Saturdays.
The upside being that I will be able to leave early on some days so it's really not as bad as it sounds.
and I will have Sundays off.
Now this is what I'm going to do.
In the past, every single block of time that I have taken vacation time
I have used to clean the house, sort through stuff and do yard work.
I've gotten up early still and worked until I was exhausted and although it was a good tired, it's always how I've spent my vacation time.
Not this time.
In the time leading up to my vacation I'm going into overdrive.
I'm PURGING everything.
Room by room.
And the yard too.
It's a lot to do but I'm focused.
And on my vacation?
I plan on just waking up when I do!
and not feeling like I MUST get up and get to work on my projects.
I plan on doing or not doing, whatever I want
and also sitting down and working on my Art without the nagging feeling of things not done hanging over my head.
Oh sure, I'll have walls that will need painting
and other projects but I can do that afterwards.
On following weekends...
but the STUFF will be gone.
Now this might sound silly but
it's kinda overwhelming and scary.
But having this deadline and putting it HERE
will make me do it.
AND having that peace of mind will be priceless.
In the past I've held onto stuff because of the possibility of what I could make out of it
and/or the cash I spent on it or maybe someday sell it for.
But that's not believing in The Universe.
It's not believing that what I need will be there for me.
No, it's like seeing the negative and not the positive.
It's like the paper not being visible
but knowing it's there, crammed and jumbled and chaotic.
So that's the plan for the month.
I gave Doc a letter asking for a raise.
A long letter, detailing my value and my reasons.
He will have to go over it with the HR vet.
But hopefully I will get the raise I deserve but here's the oddest part.
I'm not dwelling on it.
Either I will get it or I won't.
The decision they make will just be a piece of my life puzzle that I'm slowly putting together.
I won't know until it's all clicked together to see what the image is.
Although the piece they choose will definitely have an effect on how it all comes together!
OK, I best get busy!
I hope everyone is having happy positive things happening in their lives.
I always look forward to you sharing your comments, thoughts, ideas!