ONE MONTH from today!

I've been working on thinking positive

and sending my thoughts out to The Universe.

It has to be said: It's not easy.

But anything worthwhile isn't usually easy.

It's really been a real eye opener though,

on how quick I've been to think negatively.

I hope it's not human nature to be that way.

It's just little things.

Like at work when I encounter people who might not be so nice.

It still happens but instead, I'm letting it go and not giving it much thought

and focusing on the good people I talk to and know.

Instead of letting it build up and eat at me, I'm thinking about my future.

I'm feeling grateful for what I have now and what I WILL have.

What is coming towards me.

I'm believing it into being.

Last post I shared about my car.

How I had traded it for safety, security and happiness.

The next day on Sunday I went out to it to run some errands.

It wouldn't start.

I called my sister and she and my niece came over to jump it and still... no luck.

Since I have my warranty, I called and had it towed into the dealership.

Luckily they have a shuttle service that came to my house on Monday morning and drove me to work.

While making small talk in the Shuttle Van, I started to say to the guy that I hoped it wasn't anything major.

Then I stopped that train of thought and said 

"But I'm sure it will be something simple!"

The driver gave me a surprised look and said with a laugh

"That's a positive attitude!"

Later,  it turned out to be just the battery.

I got a new Honda one. One that lasts for 8 years

and they gave me my first (free) oil change and tire rotation.

Then the shuttle service came and got me on my lunch hour and took me to my car.

Car problems have never been this easy for me!

Then a few days later something else happened to me.

I needed to deposit a check that I had been keeping.

Full disclosure. I save all things paper.

Receipts, coupons, post-it notes, index cards with grand ideas scribbled on them.

I have bills, letters and well... you get the idea.

Important paper is kept in the top drawer of my desk,

or in my handbag,

or in the top drawer of the cabinet in the living room,

or in a book on the shelf

or....

OK, yes I have a problem.

And when it gets overwhelming, I will go around with a plastic bag and fill it with the papers

and tie the top and carry it upstairs and put the bag in a closet.

So, you see... it looks neat, but actually it's just hidden chaos.

So I desperately needed to deposit that check.

After all I had just bought that new battery.

And for the life of me, I could not find it.

I searched for it for quite a while until I gave up and went to bed.

I laid there thinking.. it's probably in the Other cabinet, top drawer....

In the morning I resumed my search.

I was starting to get teary eyed and so very mad at myself.

It was no where to be found.

Finally I made a promise to myself, to Glinda the Good Witch and to The Universe.

If I could only find it, I would once and for all get rid of all my paper clutter!

I took a deep breath, poured myself some coffee and sat down at my desk.

I pulled the top drawer open AGAIN.

There was a card laying on top and I flipped it open.

I know that I had looked inside that card before but

there was the check.

CHILLS.

Truly, I had goosebumps.

OK. so here's the plan.

I'm getting rid of the paper.

Burning it and putting what I MUST keep in one box.

One location.

But this has now also snowballed another thought into action.

It's a HUGE goal, (for me) but here it is;

In exactly FOUR weeks from today I will start a one week vacation.

Each weekend until then, I have off.

After my vacation I will start a six day workweek including Saturdays.

The upside being that I will be able to leave early on some days so it's really not as bad as it sounds.

and I will have Sundays off.

Now this is what I'm going to do.

In the past, every single block of time that I have taken vacation time

I have used to clean the house, sort through stuff and do yard work.

I've gotten up early still and worked until I was exhausted and although it was a good tired,  it's always how I've spent my vacation time.

Not this time.

Nope.

In the time leading up to my vacation I'm going into overdrive.

I'm PURGING everything.

Room by room.

And the yard too.

It's a lot to do but I'm focused.

And on my vacation?

I plan on just waking up when I do!

and not feeling like I MUST get up and get to work on my projects.

I plan on doing or not doing, whatever I want

and also sitting down and working on my Art without the nagging feeling of things not done hanging over my head.

Oh sure, I'll have walls that will need painting

and other projects but I can do that afterwards.

On following weekends...

but the STUFF will be gone.

Now this might sound silly but

it's kinda overwhelming and scary.

But having this deadline and putting it HERE

will make me do it.

AND having that  peace of mind will be priceless.

In the past I've held onto stuff because of the possibility of what I could make out of it

and/or the cash I spent on it or maybe someday sell it for.

But that's not believing in The Universe.

It's not believing that what I need will be there for me.

No, it's like seeing the negative and not the positive.

It's like the paper not being visible

but knowing it's there, crammed and jumbled and chaotic.

So that's the plan for the month.

Other News:

I gave Doc a letter asking for a raise.

A long letter, detailing my value and my reasons.

He will have to go over it with the HR vet.

But hopefully I will get the raise I deserve but here's the oddest part.

I'm not dwelling on it.

Either I will get it or I won't.

The decision they make will just be a piece of my life puzzle that I'm slowly putting together.

I won't know until it's all clicked together to see what the image is.

Although the piece they choose will definitely have an effect on how it all comes together!

OK, I best get busy!

I hope everyone is having happy positive things happening in their lives.

I always look forward to you sharing your comments, thoughts, ideas!

XOXOXOXOXO

A BIRTHDAY AND A GARDEN

Just a quick post before I go outside to work in the yard!

Today is my baby girl's birthday.

PING PONG

She's only 2!

I usually talk about Blue and my other dogs don't always get proper mention

but I do love them ALL dearly.

To be honest, Ping has a very special place in my heart even though I haven't had her as long as my senior dogs.

Sometimes that just happens. Someone creeps in under the radar and steals your heart

and she and Poppy have done that.

(SSSSSH, don't tell the others).

Poppy is the second youngest,

only 4 years old but she refuses to play with Ping.

In fact she will close her eyes if Ping runs up to her to play.

I'm not sure if Poppy is trying to just ignore her

or maybe wish her away.

I know this sounds INSANE but I have thought about getting Ping a playmate!

The others will play with her for a couple of minutes but then just walk away

and Ping is still ping-ponging around the room until she stops and sees they have all left.

Anyway, I love this little one.

She is FEARLESS!

(This is a photo of Ping when she somehow jumped up on top of the cabinet

and got into one of the cat beds so that she could look out the window!)

Other news

Yesterday after working the morning at the clinic, me and my sister took a little road trip.

We try to go to Sunnyfield's Garden Center every Spring

and last Christmas I had given my sister a handmade "gift certificate" which said

I would buy her one flower/plant from there.

So I bought her a plant and she bought some more!

and I bought a couple for my garden.

Speaking of my garden...

I woke up to rain this morning

and when it started to let up I went outside and took a couple of photos.

Here's my Gerber Daisy that I kept inside all winter.

My Lilacs are in full bloom and are almost done.

All my Hostas are growing HUGE and I'm not done transplanting them!

And this is one of my birdhouses sitting on one of my wooden boxes that I have "collected".

It's surrounded by my Lilies, a burning bush and a clematis

(It cost me $2.00 and is sitting on a stool that cost me 50 cents.)

I have decided to use all my STUFF that I can in my garden.

I plan on painting everything different colors.

Yep, I'm going to use what I can and donate the rest.....

that's the plan.

OK!

It's not raining any longer!

I MUST get outside.

Have a wonderful SUNDAY!

XOXOXO

TORNADO, FIRE, a CAT and a DOG and STUFF.

I need to write a post......

I have so many things swirling in my head

and don't know where to start.

I've just been thinking about so many things.

About... life.

About how I spend my time.

About my level of Happiness.

How I have such a list of what I want to do

and NEED to do.

And I always feel guilty if I don't do all that I need to do.

Spring was arrived.

source

In little bursts of warmth

but the nights are still cold.

But soon I can start building my fence!

I'm not sure where to place it... but that's for a different post.

So anyway,

I had breakfast with a friend

The one that accomplishes so much in a day

and she shocked me when she said she was tired.

Tired of doing it all.

That she just wanted her life to be simplified.

How she wouldn't mind moving from her home to a smaller house or

possibly even a condo with no yard.

Her house is so pretty and her yard landscaped perfectly!

I was so surprised.

She said she was tired of spending so much time on it.

I told her how I too thought that I resented working out in the yard

because it took time away from all the other things I needed to be doing and creating.

But I said that I also found it incredibly calming.

Like meditation.

source

But even if I was working hard outside, I felt stressed that I should be doing something else.

She understood but said that she didn't enjoy it at all.

So I could see why she would want to move.

We got to talking about how we used to shake our heads at people who hired others

to do their cleaning and yard work and home improvements

and how we never understood why someone would spend money when they could do it themselves.

Both of us have always scraped together our pennies for everything but

suddenly we understood why others did it...

The other day a tornado touched down, not here

but not far from here either.

source

We have warnings every Spring but we are almost always lucky.

They kept showing photos of the destruction that the high winds had done locally.

There was a storage place where units were knocked over and blown about.

I couldn't help notice the one that was mostly just knocked off of its footings.

You could see the contents still inside.  

It was packed to the ceiling.

Not in some orderly boxed fashion but stuff just jammed in a huge pile.

I thought about how someone was paying for all that STUFF to just sit piled up in there.

Why?

And why do I have STUFF in my basement? Still!

Furniture, wood, things I'm going to USE someday.

Things I'm going to paint and improve and make BIG money on... someday.

And things in Rubbermaid containers that someone will want to buy... someday,

in a shop online that I have never opened

or in a garage sale that I would dread having.

I'm no better, not really.

I mean, OK I haven't rented space for my STUFF and it's more organized but....

Then they showed where the tornado had hit.

source

People devastated over their destroyed homes and lost belongings.

I can't even imagine how horrible and tragic that would be. 

My house means the world to me

and my home has so many things that have deep meaning to me.

Things my nieces have made me and a few cherished items from my past.

They talked to a man who said at least everyone got out alive in his family and how

that was the important thing

and he's right.

Two people in the town lost their lives and many were injured.

If a tornado were to ever hit my home, my animals would be my only concern

I would not be worried about anything else inside of it.

Then they talked to a woman who looked to be about my age.

She was saying how devastating it was and how thankful she was that no one had been hurt.

Then she hesitated and said that it was kinda "cleansing".

To be rid of everything.

I'm sure that many people would be very critical of her words, but I got what she was trying to say.

A while back I was watching "The Talk" and Marie Osmund was a guest.

Somehow they got onto the topic of having a lot of STUFF.

She said that when her parents had passed, she had put everything of theirs into a garage to save.

One day the garage caught fire and she lost everything they had left behind.

The ladies of The Talk started to offer her sympathy and she shook her head.

She stated that the fire had done something that she was unable to do herself 

and therefore it wasn't necessarily a bad thing...except for the photos.

The other day I was standing in my kitchen trying to FINALLY decide whether to paint my red china hutch white or black.

A long time ago my kitchen had a lot of red but not any longer.

I decided that black would probably be the right choice.

It would balance with the black shelf above the sink

and the black framed photos resting on it

and the dark clock above it.

I stood back and stared at the shelf and other things.

I was in deep thought about it.

My house is a 100 years old and the walls are plaster and lath.

When you drive a screw or nail into them, you can hear the plaster fall behind the wall.

The shelf has always be a precarious thing.

So I stood there and suddenly for no reason,

Ghost leaping onto the edge of the sink and knocked the shelf off the wall.

(Ghost on my red china hutch)

The little ceramic leaf that also sat on the shelf and held some jewelry fell and broke.

I gathered up everything quickly and turned and looked at the space.

Suddenly it seemed clear and clean and more spacious.

I looked over at the china hutch, maybe I could paint it white!

So... I don't need a a horrific event like a tornado, a fire or 

even my sweet cat to change things in my life.

Maybe I need to stop looking at everything in my life as what it COULD be

and just BE.

And stop focusing on the money I spent in the hopes of bringing in more.

Or creating/ painting with an eye always on how to make some cash.

I know that the Law of Attraction is that if you focus on something it will happen.

If you think it, it will be so.

They say if you keep thinking "I won't be late, I won't be late"

The Universe will just focus on the "being late" part, and you will be late.

If you instead think, I will be on time, then you will be on time.

It's the focus on the good positive and not the negative.

Which I think is the answer whether you believe in The Universe and Law of Attraction or not.

Sigh, I don't know.

I'm just thinking out loud or rather blogging out loud.
I've talked about this STUFF so many times
and I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow.
I frustrate myself.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks,

but we all know that's not true.

It's just finding the energy to do it all.

(Blue is exhausted too.)

MINIMALISM and ALL that STUFF and HAPPINESS

...thinking a lot.

cleaning, sorting and rediscovering "treasures".
I've been reading a lot about happiness
and how clearing the clutter, minimalism, simplicity....
can make you happy.
I've decided that while it could indeed make some people happy, it's not for me.
I had an Ah-Ha moment.
It's a very cool rainy October day today and while going through some boxes of things and also thinking about all that I've read, it dawned on me that I used to live a totally minimal life.

Very simple. One room, with a Murphy bed that pulled down out of the wall, a tiny 2 burner stove and a mini fridge.

(I've written about this place before, in fact I think it's one of my most favorite posts.
http://oldblackcatboo.blogspot.com/2010/10/i-lived-in-this-house-and-halloween.html
anyway...)
at the time, even though I didn't count my clothing, I know I had LESS than 33 items at the time.
So much for the 333 project.
and I was very SAD and miserable.

Now, some people might have been in paradise, knowing that they could pack up all their STUFF in a bag within minutes and be on their way to adventure.
But I didn't feel like that. I feel alone and ungrounded.
Just twisting in the wind.
Of course back then, there was no Internet.
No links to all the great ideas and images.
No way to type out and share my thoughts and feelings without leaving my room.
and of course. I wasn't allowed to have a dog.
Actually I wasn't allowed any pets at all but I smuggled in a cat.
Just me and my cat...

and now today as I find things that I forgotten I had, I feel happy and motivated.
I have new ideas about things to create.
Which is probably why I accumulated these things in the first place.
Now, I'm not saying that I haven't held up some items and turned it over and over and thought "WTH?"
and then tossed it.
I've have cleaned out my china hutch in the kitchen, next to the table that I paint at and filled it with bins of paint and jars of paintbrushes. On top of the hutch are my decorative shoes boxes filled with papers. pens. pencils, shiny things.
Above my white kitchen cabinets, I have white shoe boxes with others supplies. (dog brushes, heart-worm pills, etc.)
All very neat and tidy...
Yep.
I'm keeping what I need and really want. I just probably have more STUFF that I NEED than most people.
Kinda like my pets.
Yes, I have more than most people but THEY make me happy.
To some people, they would seem like a lot of work but they give me a purpose.
Some people like to manicure theirs nails while watching TV, I trim dog/cat nails.
While some people like to go window shopping, I'm home bathing my dogs.
Some people go to sports events, I throw a ball or Frisbee.
I know there are people who feel like just ONE dog is overwhelming.
I know that TOO well because that IS why I have some of my dogs.
So, I'm organizing and cleaning
and vacuuming up pet hair but basically I'm a lot Happier and I NEED to remember this day,
even if it means that I sometimes I feel like an indentured servant to the clinic I work at.
and Yes, I do have a BIG vet bill that seems to almost get paid and then something happens to pump it back up.
But at least I have that safety net.
Lots of reflection today.
But in a good way,

to realize, that I AM happy.

PHOTOGRAPH

Have you ever taken a photo of something and then when you look at the picture you notice all the other crap that's sitting around?

It's like your eye has gotten used to the laundry pile on the kitchen table or the stack of stuff at the foot of the stairs, that you don't even see it anymore.

Then you take a photo and BAM! there's all this STUFF.
Or have you ever experienced the flip side.
You are somewhere, feeling good and photos are being taken and then later you see yourself and are startled at how you REALLY look.
Maybe that's not the flip side at all.
Just another case of getting used to something and not seeing it as it really is.
I'm still working on ME.
I want to look like I feel...or at least a bit closer to it.
I thought I was working on the HOUSE situation but after taking a photo of Jimmy Chew sleeping on the sofa, it was pretty startling to see all this JUNK still here.
Sigh...someday.
Slim and Healthy.
Tidy and Sparse.
That's the dream.