Heaven has another Angel Dog.

I had to let my perfect little dog Vera Wag go to Heaven this afternoon.
I was lucky to have her for the last 8 years of her life.
She turned 13 this year.
I thought I would have had longer with her
but she didn't want to eat and worse than that, she was giving me this "look".
My friend/co-worker Katie, the one who went back and took care of Blue after his surgery,
talked with me about Vera and how she was feeling.
She came back to boarding this morning and I was holding Vera and I was saying how Vera was giving me this pleading look.
I turned to her and found her crying and Katie said that maybe I needed to tell Vera it was OK to "go".
So I told Vera that it was OK, that she could go to Heaven and she just stared at me with big frightened eyes.

We had our monthly staff meeting today over the lunch hour and afterwards Lily came back to see Vera.
She walked into the run and knelt down next to her bed and just started crying.
"Why are you crying?!" I asked as I cried too.
Lily said that she could tell that Vera was ready.
That she wanted to go.
I told Lily I wasn't sure if I was ready for her to go yet and Lily got up and told me to call her if I needed her.
(She had the day off and left.)

Katie had left early for the day and I texted her and told her about Lily.
She answered back that she thought that Vera was trying to tell me something.
She thought Vera's eyes were trying to send me a message.
That she was ready.
As I was texting Katie, telling her that I needed to call Lily, Katie walked in the door.
She had come back to work to help me and Vera.

I called Lily and she came back too, in just mere minutes.

I'm so thankful to these two wonderful girls who helped me accept that it was time to end Vera's suffering.
As I held Vera, Katie commented how she could feel the bones in her back and there was nothing to her legs, just skin and bones and
Just the huge tumor that bloated her belly.
Vera's little face stared up at me and Katie said
"Can you see it? The way she's trying to tell you that she's ready?"
Through my tears I said Yes.
The three of us went outside and sat in the grass with Vera.
Katie gave her an injection to relax her
and then she went and got the vet, not Doc but the newer woman vet who helped me with Stretch.
She came outside and knelt down in the grass with us and released Vera from her tired and swollen body so that she could go to Heaven.
I thanked her and she told me she was so sorry and went back inside.

Then Lily commented that now Vera would be with Raini,
my little cat that passed at the beginning of the year.

Vera loved that cat.
Lily said "Now Raini can give Vera massages in Heaven".
(Raini loved to knead on the dogs, especially Vera.)
That made me cry even harder but then...the thought of them together started to bring me some peace.
I thanked Lily for that, and for being there
and I thanked Katie for returning and helping me.

I held Vera for a few moments more, but she was gone.
I handed her to Lily and she said she'd take care of her and I left to go home.
I cried as I drove, I know it was for the best but...
life is so damn unfair sometimes.