TOPICS

I've talked about changing around my blog.
I want to zero in on some specific topics.
Things that are on my mind most of the time.
So... what would that be?
What do I think about first?
Food.
I wake up and as I lay there I think,
"What am I going to have for breakfast?"
I LOVE breakfast food.

There was a time in my life when I didn't even eat breakfast.
I was thin then.
I've heard the research on the News and such.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!
If you eat breakfast, you tend to be thinner.
It's like filling your tank with gas and gets you going.
You can't function on an empty tummy.
Blah, blah, blah.
I'm so sick of surveys and being told what works best.
I grew up with the food pyramid that turned out to be a big lie.
I now believe nothing.
I used to have a cup of hot tea and I was good to go.
I could go until lunchtime before I was hungry
and now I'm hungry a couple of hours after breakfast.
So... I'm gonna talk about THAT.
Not healthy recipes or anything like that.
That would be crazy! To think I might start "cooking".
But yep, I'm gonna share thoughts about quick and easy,
not expensive but maybe not healthy...
Anyway, yeah. I will talk about food from time to time.

So after I sit up I think about my pets.

(my toy poodle Ping Pong)

I think of them because I have to get them outside to potty.
I think about them as I clean up after them
and as I get them fed and ready for their day while I'm gone at work.
Or if I have the day off, I have them around me
playing and cuddling and being adorable.

(my cats Ghost, Harry and Charlie)

So, as ALWAYS I will be talking about MY pets,
Other peoples pets, rescues and such.
Pets all the time!

Which segues into my home.

and talking about my house and making it pet friendly
and keeping it clean
and the struggle.

Which rolls into my actual house
my location,
my sometimes desires to move
and my desire to stay put
and all that it entails.

And working on the house I have.
(ok, THIS is NOT my house but it kinda reminds me of it, or the feeling about it...)

(source)

Not the typical blog type of stuff with amazing makeovers.
Nope, this will be about fixing stuff myself.
No handy man or husband involved
No big dollars spent.
I think it's wonderful if someone has someone else to cut a board for them
or lug an appliance and I'm not jealous but I am envious.

I'll talk about my job, my work that gives me a paycheck
and my safety-net and what enables me to care for my pets properly.

I'll talk about my Art

and what I want to create and what I AM creating.
I'll share ideas and what inspires me.
I'll talk about the struggle of creating what you think might sell
versus just creating what you want to create and the struggles of that
and how, for me anyway, it leads to procrastination and sucks the joy out it.
and
I'll talk about artists that I love.

I'll also talk about how to save money on some things.
What works for me anyway.
How bargains aren't always bargains.
I'll also write about things I've found that I love and think they deserve a great review.

I'll talk about NOT minimalism
Which I thought I wanted to achieve and now realize it will never be for me
but rather, I just want the "EXTRA" stuff gone.
No excessive clutter but not spare and sparse.

I'll talk about getting older.

The shock that only your body is old but it has nothing to do with your soul.
Yeah, I'll talk about not thinking "young",
because I was really clueless when I was young
but rather I'll talk about thinking positive
and being happy and not thinking OLD.

And I'll talk about retirement.

Not how to invest or anything like that.
Lord knows I know nothing about THAT.
There are a lot of books out there about investing and etc.
No, I'll talk about different ideas,
things I will probably NEVER do but might sound great to someone else.
Just doing whatever makes YOU happy!

I'm probably forgetting some important topic
but that's what I've got for now!

Yep, and with all this talk about TOPICS,
I hope people feel free to jump in and leave comments
and share their thoughts and ideas too!

MY HOUSE

My home.

A port from life's daily storms.

Sometimes I will post tiny snippets of it

but I never share the whole thing.

Part of the reason is because I do want to keep it private but

mostly because it's far from being "done" and definitely doesn't measure up to the homes on my blog feed.

I'm slowly working on it but it's taking me forever.

It's due to lack of money and also time.

I work a physically demanding job and when I come home, I don't always feel like working on the house.

So it's taking me YEARS.

I know some people aren't concerned with such things 

but I'm obsessed with decor and design.

It's obviously not because I'm trying to impress people

because I basically don't let many people inside my home.

I know it's for myself, my own satisfaction and  the feeling of peace as I step inside the door to my private space.

Lately I feel like it's creating me stress.

Stress, because I've been a bit overwhelmed emotionally lately

(I'll share at a later date)

and it's been a struggle to just maintain order.

And also I'm having stress because I have a friend I recently reconnected with, after decades

and who wants to come to my home. 

I've said we should meet up for lunch but this friend is constantly requesting to meet Ghost

and Blue and....

asking how many pets I have 

and.....

I don't feel like it's mean spirited at all but it's freaking me out.

I've seen images of this person's home

and I'm thinking I could fit my house into the foyer of hers.

and...I don't want to be judged, critiqued or whatever.

I'm not saying she would necessarily judge me but we are now from two entirely different worlds.

This is my refuge, my safe place

and I don't need the pressure.

Some day I hope to have my house to a point that I won't be self conscious about every little thing

but it's not there yet.

I've tried to nicely convey my thoughts

and truly I don't understand why there is such a need to come here.

I've had been working hard on my home

but right now I just want to stop.

Relax and mess it up with art stuff.

It's nice that technology has enabled us to reconnect with people from our pasts

but hermits like me, are hermits for a reason.

That being said...

I love having people like my niece Lily over.

She comes over and flops down in my big chair and chats.

She opens my refrigerator and doesn't comment on the items inside but just grabs some cheese to munch on.

She eats the Halloween candy that's sitting on the shelf with my art supplies and

she looks at things I'm working on and gets excited.

She joins me on the patio and helps me scoop poop

and plays with my dogs.

She doesn't seem to notice that I still have sample paint colors painted on the wall in the kitchen

or that the bathroom still doesn't have the wallpaper done.

I've had other people who have come over and asked me to put my dogs outside

as they excitedly jump up. I've told them that my dogs are just happy to see them and will settle down in a minute

but I can feel my shoulders tense tight and I feel uncomfortably as their eyes scan around the room taking in the chaos.

I hear myself explaining how I'm doing laundry or working on a project or.....

The thing is, when you live in a teeny tiny house where when you walk in and you are instantly in the living room that turns into the kitchen that turns into the laundry room...

Well, yeah. It's all THERE

right in front of you.

Sigh....

So that's just a tiny bit of the stress that's been bugging me.

I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of defending why this or that isn't done.

I'm tired of saying I have no extra dollars.

I'm tired of having no energy.

I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me.

I'm tired of feeling like I must spend my time on projects on the home when I just want to work on my art/books.

and I'm REALLY tired of people asking how many pets I have and making jokes that I live in a zoo.

All my pets are very well cared for.

I make sure they have what they need even if it means I buy the special food for them and eat cereal for myself.

Besides, I love cereal.

It's easy for me to complain here but hard for me to convey that to the people who don't even realize how much their comments and requests stress me out.

So... I'm really thinking hard about how to deal with THIS

because I have some OTHER things going on that I have to figure out too.

My usual method is to pull out my big scissors and cut the ties, the strings that reach out to tie up my thoughts.

OK, I've got that off my chest!

and here's a photo I found over HERE.

Funny that I love white so much but this just jumped out and grabbed me.

It's how I truly want my home to be.

Warm, safe, comfortable and private....

and no concerns about keeping up with the Joneses, or whoever.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO...

and so little time.

If you know me, you know that I am QUEEN of PROCRASTINATION and INDECISION.
but...

I'm trying to get some financing for my home.

I WAS going to try to get financing for the "perfect" house that I found but after much thought I decided if I did that, I would NEVER be able to retire and...

maybe I just wanted a house that was all DONE.

But if I quit procrastinating and made some decisions and stuck with them and got MY house DONE. Well, maybe I would be HAPPY...

so I need to get house stuff DONE, in case I get approved and they have to send out an appraiser.

So, I will be GONE for a while.

I have a HUGE "To-Do list"!

Wish me luck!