Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Sometimes I almost forget that this blog is here for all the world to see.
I finally have tried to post a few things on Facebook and it's so odd. I guess that only people that I have "friended" can read what I write but I find it strange. I am now friends with people that actually live in my town, or near it and yet these are not people who would pick up a phone to "chat".
It goes both ways, I don't try to reach out either.
Someone was talking about gathering eggs and I thought "What? does she live in the country now?" but I guess it's a game about farming.....
Yet here on my blog I receive comments and in turn leave comments to "friends" that I have never met, yet who I feel really know me. People I admire and respect and who take time out of their day to visit me here. I will ramble on and on and not give it a thought to who might be reading. But I must remember that I should not post anything that can come back and haunt me. So I find myself with something I would like to share but realize that I can not, not really. 
So instead I will just say that to me, some of the most important things in life is for a person to have honor and compassion. To follow their conscience and do the right thing. So many times the noise of life can roar above the voice in our heads and our hearts. I think it's easy to make excuses or to listen to other people or to be motivated by greed or ego but if a person is quiet and really listens to their heart...they know what is right. It's like when someone makes an anonymous gift. They give it because they see the need, they know that someone or something needs help and they are able to help, so they do. Not to brag about it or to have a tax write-off but because they follow their heart.  So many times we ask others what to do about things but if we just take a moment to be still, we know.
Or maybe not. Maybe some people don't have that voice in their head or God or wherever they feel those words come from.
My Dad, who was NOT religious, always said to just treat people like you want to be treated and try to stay true to that and you should live a honorable life.
There have been times in my life when I have let myself be talked into something and felt that it was wrong but gave into peer pressure and I had such a heavy heart.  As I've gotten older, I find myself no longer really caring what others think I should do or not do. I just want to be able to go to sleep peacefully at night.
I know that I can not change other people and that are so many selfish heartless people in the world
and there's nothing that I can really do about them except to try to avoid them as much as possible. But unfortunately sometimes I am not able to  and I feel like their poison is spilling out and trying to contaminate me. I must step carefully.
It is my nature to back away from that negativity, turn and run.
But after much thought I think that it would be better to stay. Stay and hold up a mirror so that hopefully the reflection will bring shame and guilt. Stay and be strong.
Strong for those who are unable to defend themselves.
I feel like everywhere I turn lately there are signs, messages trying to guide me on the right path. A book I was reading that other day was talking about having passion for something in our lives. The kind of passion that makes us lose ourselves and all track of time. The author said that most of us discovered it when we were young, but we have forgotten it while being so busy dealing with our daily lives. Or maybe someone told us that it was silly or stupid and we decided to do what we were expected to do or what everyone else was doing. The book was talking about getting older and retiring and it stressed that instead of retiring, to try re-"firing". To work towards that passion again. I have many years before I can retire but I can start now to listening to my inner voice and onto the road to my passion, my happiness and away from people motivated by greed or evil or sheer laziness. 
I've been thinking quite a bit about my health lately and the effect of "aging" is having on me. I realize that I must eat better and exercise more but I think that stress plays a big factor. I think that if I could process stress differently, handled it differently, that I would feel better physically.  I will try to remember to make sure to "be quiet" and listen to my inner voice, be strong and were true to myself.
So, that's what I'm thinking about....handling stress better, dealing with mean people better, and following my passions and not backing away.


sassypackrat said...

I'm a big fan of holding up mirrors to people. My kids are tired of me saying the whole "people who live in glass houses..." thing but oh is it true!
Unfortunately you do have to be careful what you say online, it can come back to haunt you.
You have my email if you ever need to share anything. I'm always here.
I didn't know you were on Facebook. I'm there too under my real name and business name if you want to look me up.

Nita {ModVintageLife} said...

I agree with you on the Facebook thing. I started posting my blog on facebook because I had requests and it gets many many views through there. But the reason I hesitated is that I have so MANY Facebook friends who really are not friends...they are acquaintances. Like people I know through work. People who I really don't want to know every little thing about me. Guys I went to highschool with that I never speak to....have friended me on there.

Yet, I have no problem with a MVL reader friending me on there. I wonder why? I think it is because people who read my blog GET me. They don't think it odd to obsessed about decorating. I have no problem with my blogging friends knowing all the details of my life and yet....but I don't want the sales manager I worked with at my last job to know. Much less an old boyfriend.

Of course as usual, I'm right there with you on the rest of this post. I believe in doing the right thing. I physically cannot do the makes me feel physically ill to even think about lying or cheating or being cruel to another. It always amazes me that people need religion to keep them on the straight and narrow.

Loved the pics of the kitty cats....

I too am trying to figure out what lies ahead of me. I had a rough night last night and woke up wondering what the ____ I was doing with my life.

I'll keep trying... if you do.

Sandy Mastroni said...

this was a lot ..... a lot of 'stuff' from your heart .
You have a tender kind heart ....[ that's why it hurts sometimes ] ........ you have joy too ... and that always shows in your writing

Did you ever read the Velveteen Rabbit ?
I swear I cry every time I read it
It's about ' becoming REAL '
You're funny and honest and real Cindi !!!

yoborobo said...

Amen, sista! I am trying so hard to handle stress better than I usually do (I usually reach for FOOD). I am trying to get myself to move through time and space (in other words - get off my duff!) and I am trying to stop caring what other people (non-friend people) say. You be the mirror. We need more of those in this world. Hang tough! xoxo Pam

Georgina said...

Hey Lady, that's some heavy sh** you're talking about!! LOL I sooo agree with what you're saying!! At my age now, 59 and holding till Feb.1, of '12, I have a few health issues, most due to those nasty little beasites we call family genes and the war against menopause, Georgina 0-Menopause 10 (gained mucho poudange), but they can be controlled. I agree about the stress factor. That can be so devastating and dangerous, but being mindful about it is a great tool.

I too am going to watch myself more. Am going to join a gym in a couple of weeks!! That's a milestone for me because I hate exercise...hate those people who go on about how they just have to work out daily in order to survive...can you feel my eyes rolling back to my head??? LOL It's no longer for looks but for my health...need to take care of what I've already developed, regardless if it's heredity or not.

Sometimes we just have to go forward onto certain things because of necessity and there's nothing wrong with improving oneself. Keep on holding up that mirror, lady, and keep challenging yourself and don't stop learning or asking questions...knowledge is powerful for you and those around you.

You're the best, Cindi!!


oldblackcatboo said...

OK, Now you all have me in tears!
Thank you so much for always being there for me! Your comments touch my heart and make me SO HAPPY to have found this blogger world!

Mundo Mundaca said...

hello my dear,
Reamente not need to personally know someone we like it.
I think it is vibration, tuning or something.
It is very good to live in a globalized world and can have a sincere friend yet miles away.
P.S I love the pictures.