SOMETHING'S WRONG and

I'm taking a break.

I don't know what's wrong with me but everything is irritating me lately.
I mean EVERYTHING.
and I'm not sure why.
I just feel angry.
maybe it's my hormones or something. (I hate when other people blame their rude behavior on stuff like that)
See what I mean.
Everything is bugging me.
I just want to bite everyones head off.
I know that a FEW different things have sent me into this direction,
but, I usually can deal with those types of things.
Except...
for the fact that a cat of mine who's been living at the clinic because my big cats pick on him,
a cat that my niece loves very much and wants for her own when she moves out after graduation,
a cat that I kept saying that he looked sick and I paid for expensive bloodwork etc. to be run on him back in August
and I was told the tests showed nothing...
I found out on Friday that no vet was shown the results.
And he's now in liver failure.
The xrays and ultrasound are showing a HUGE mass tumor.
It's crowding his organs, his stomach, covering the liver.
Prognosis - not good.
His mouth and around his eyes are a yellow color today.
Doc said he's going to open him up tomorrow and see if there's anything he can do.
See how bad it is, maybe he can get the tumor.
It's the size of a baseball.
He says it's not looking good but he will try.
I guess it depends on what it's attached to.
If he doesn't do this surgery, my cat won't be here much longer.
He said if he can't get it, he won't wake him up and he'll let him "go".....
Yeah.
I will never trust anyone again.
I usually don't. I'm more of the in your face "What's going on with my critter!" kind of person.
but I dropped the ball.
I believed someone cared about him as much as they said they did.
I had a talk with Doc about this.
He knows that I am going straight to HIM from now on.
He's fine with that.
anyway.....just one of the things making me cranky, crazy and wanting to SCREAM.
so, I'm taking a break until I can get it together and be nice again.