Monday, July 18, 2016

Today is ...MY BIRTHDAY!

Whatever.

Actually, I HAVE been thinking about the aging process a lot lately.
Who knows how long we have.
Someone could be 80 years old and have 15 years ahead of them
and someone could be 19, and die in a car accident that year.
We just don't know.
I've already lived past the age of my Mom's passing
and if I go for Dad's age, I've got slightly less than 20.
But seriously who knows?
and why think that way?!

I got news recently from someone I was close friends with in high school.
I was close with the whole family.
I practically spent all my spare time there.
Their family was polar opposite of mine.
It was loud and rowdy and everyone was on top of one another.
They were outrageous and made messes and had so much fun.

Last year I heard that the oldest daughter had passed away from a brain tumor.
Now I heard that one of the sisters that I spent so much time with, has pancreatic cancer.
She's younger than me!
I haven't seen her in more than 30 years.
She got married and had kids and we just lost touch and now....
Her sister tells me that there's not much hope.

There have been many people over the years that are now gone.
People I grew up with and now, BAM! gone.
Most of my relatives have passed and several of my old boyfriends.
Two years ago, a woman who was my sister's best friend when we were all little,
was posting photos of herself and her fiance on this fun grand vacation they were taking.
Everyday there were photos on Facebook.
They were having so much fun.
I even commented on how she didn't seem to have aged.
So they came home from the vacation and that Sunday afternoon
she had a headache and went to take a nap and when her fiance went to wake her,
she was gone.

Everyone was in shock.
So I was thinking about her again,
as I thought about so many other people who are now gone too.
You just don't know.

So why do we count the years?
I wish we could just live and never know how old we were.
My sister once gave me a birthday card that said pretty much that.
It said something like -
"If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you be?"

I think I'm 36!
Hahahahahahahaha!
No, seriously.
36.

I do know that I appear younger than my age.
I get that all the time.
I contribute that to three things.
#1. Genes. My Dad looked way younger than he was until one day he didn't.
and
#2. It's my nose. I have a Sally Field type of nose.
and
#3 Fat. Extra weight plumps out the wrinkles.

Also, I like things from NOW.
I think that helps keep a person young at heart.
To be open to new things.
I like the current music.
Sure, I love some of the old stuff but I like new stuff too.
I hate when people my age, scoff and talk about the good old days.
There WERE some really GREAT old days
but I hate when people act as though the good times are behind them.
I hate when I hear "I'm too old for that".
I've caught myself saying something similar to it.
But it's because I'm tired, not because I'm old.

OK, ok. Maybe my joints and things hurt a little bit more now but...
I work with young people who complain more than I do about their aches and pains.

So... I'm hating putting a number on myself.
When I hear my new number, I'm shocked!
How can this be?

I've decided not to put things off any longer though.
This year I'm going to try to push myself out of my comfort zone,
which is ironic since I've been working so hard at creating my own little private sanctuary.

But I'm going to start putting myself first, or try to anyway.
I'm going to do it in small ways.
Today I actually bought some nail polish that I wanted.
Of course it's the cheaper brand ($1.66) but it's this lovely shade of blue.
seriouslyswatched.com

Not really navy and with a hint of lavender.
and I'm not too old for it!
I also picked out some lip stain ($4.79) from Burt's Bees.
It all totally up to less than $10.00 but I felt so extravagant!

and finally, I'm going to share what I did for myself that is BIG!
Well, to me it's big.
When I first heard this news of my old friend being sick,
when the reality of mortality hit me again.
We all need to treasure the time we have
And to be Happy!
I started to think about what made ME happy in the past.
Maybe not what would make another person happy but Me.
I wanted to start enjoying my life.
Then I got an idea but I didn't have the cash and that's when The Universe stepped in!

I never get tipped at work.
Well, I used to... by two different ladies who boarded their dogs with me
but both of those dogs have passed away now.
There was one year someone gave my hand lotion and gloves for Christmas!
but I don't get tipped like the Groomer at work does.
She pulls in a lot of cash everyday!
She has a tip jar stuffed with $5 and $10's!
She doesn't even know some of the pets names and yet some of them I have cared for,
for several weeks and fretted about their eating and playing with them and .... nothing.
Oh well!

So when I got my idea, a sweet older couple returned to pick up their 3 little dogs who had boarded with me for a couple of weeks
and they handed me an envelope.
I get cards all the time but this one had CASH in it!
I was so surprised and HAPPY.
That set it in motion.
Then I sold 3 painting/photos at work and that decided it!

I took my Lowes giftcards that I got from my step-mom and my sister for Christmas.
(I wanted to buy a cool faucet for the kitchen sink with them)
but instead I used them to buy fence pickets!
I already had the posts and had purchased the cement last Fall but never put the posts up yet.
I just couldn't figure out where I wanted the fence.
But now I had a plan!
I put in the posts and built the fence.
Then I leveled the yard behind it.
That about killed me.
The heat index was close to 100 that weekend but I had to get it done.
I actually had a 3 day weekend off! The Fourth of July weekend
and I was outside working hard for most of it.

Finally it was done.
Then I used all my money.
My money from the card, the painting money
and I bought a pool that I found on clearance!!!!
It's not huge but it's not tiny either.
The water comes to my waist and I can float on a raft
and I can swim three strokes across it.
Or swim like a goldfish around the side.
I'm out there splashing and paddling and I'm loving it SO much that it's ridiculous!

The other night I came home exhausted.
I let the dogs out on the patio and they laid on their chaise lounges
while I paddled around on the raft reading my book.
Then I laid on my back and just floated.
I felt like I was almost meditating.
After a while I gathered up my stuff and went in and feed the dogs and felt so much better.

Yep, I'm going to concentrate on just being Happy
and believing The Universe will help me find a way!
and I'm going to forget this age thing.
Not because I'm denying it
or want to pretend I'm younger than I am
but because I don't want it to define me.

So yeah, it's my birthday
but Whatever!












20 comments:

At Rivercrest Cottage said...

I can't tell you how happy I was reading about you floating around in your pool. What a life! You have everything you need when you have the ability to be happy with your life. Just a question though. You know I would have one right? Why did you not buy the expensive nail polish? The difference in money was not worth the satisfaction you would've felt with the perfect polish. It's a lesson I've learned. That scrimping on the big stuff (small pool makes you just as wet and comfy as a large, built in one) is good, but go all out on the little stuff. That nail polish will last you forever so next time go for the one that makes your heart sing. Happy birthday! My little dog used to love to float on my air mattress...any of your dogs like the water?

Anne Specht said...

Happy Birthday to you,
happy birthday to you.
Happy Birthday dear Cindi,
happy birthday to you!!!

Anne

CheerfulMonk said...

Good for you! Yay, Cindi!

tammy j said...

happy birthday dearest bean!!!
AND
YAYYYY!!!!
I love the way you think.
I am also 36.
not 34 or 30 or 39
but 36!!!
AND
your pool and blue polish and lip stain... well they're WONDERFUL!
i loved what crocodile dundee said
about how old he was.
when he asked an elder the elder said "you were born in the summertime."
that's all he needed to know!
you and I were both born in the summertime.

Cindi Myers said...

Sharon,
Yes, it's funny but I simply decided to be Happy and then thought about what would make me feel that way.

It would have been hard for me, well actually nearly impossible for me to spend 3 times the amount on nail polish. It wouldn't have made me happy. Little things add up quickly and I actually love this color as much as the expensive ones. But I know what you are saying. There have been times that I bought something on sale and never liked it and then bought something else similar on sale and then get mad at myself because I could have just bought what I really wanted for the same amount as the 2 sale items that I didn't like.
My plan is not to buy much at all. But when I do, it will be because I love it and it makes me happy.

I haven't let any of the dogs in the water yet.
This will sound awful but I "skim" the water constantly and I put little chlorine tablets in this floater thing and the water is still clean and nice. Truthfully, I LOVE the cool fresh clean feeling of it and I'm just not ready for my dogs to goop it up! LOL! I love them but....
I will eventually, but right now I want to enjoy it without any hair and stuff.
(of course it will probably be Ping that gets to get in! She's a poodle and they are supposed to love water and I can give her a bath first and she's kinda my baby.)
So when that happens, I'll try to take some photos.
and, maybe after a haircut and a nail trim, Jimmy can try it too!
XOXOXOXOXO

Cindi Myers said...

Anne!
LOL!
Thank you SO MUCH!
I love it.
XOXOXOXO

Cindi Myers said...

Jean,
:D
Yes Yay!
It feels good to be Happy!
XOXOXOXO

Cindi Myers said...

Tammy!
Yay!!!!
I'm not surprised that you are 36, since we are twins! LOLOL!
I need to watch Crocodile Dundee again!
It was funny but also wise.
We were both born in the summertime?
Now I'm afraid I missed your birthday!?
I need to go through my emails and see if the date is in there! LOL!
;)
XOXOXOXOXOXO

tammy j said...

LOL!!!
go through the famous thousands?
for one little date? I think not!
it's june 11th ♥
wouldn't have gotten your email anyway. was in the hospital being hydrated!!! so no worries.
I never remember dates.
have now read this post again ...
it just makes me feel happy! :)

Cindi Myers said...

Tammy,
Now I remember!
It's the day before my sister's!
(I just might delelte them ALL today!
it's getting higher!!!)
XOXOXOXO

Vicki said...

Oh! So sorry I missed your special day, Cindi.
Happy Birthday for yesterday!!

Be the age you want to be, and 36 is is a very good age!!

Wish I could feel 36, but my body has too many problems and reminds me how old I am :)

I think you should be tipped generously for all that you do. A jar of your own is a good start ;)

Being bouyant and floating in your pool while you meditate is awesome! Even fifteen minutes to half an hour, will be so good for you, and will recharge the senses. Love it!

Wishing you wellness and happiness, always!
xxxxx


Doreen@foxdenrd said...

Ohhhhhh....I'm so sorry I missed your special day! I'm not surprised you're a Cancer :).

I hate when people say I'm too old for that too! I want to bitch slap them tyvm.

I'm happy you got yourself a little pool and can give yourself a break from the heat when needed. I love using our tubes too in the lake and you're right, it's very meditative.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY YOU YOUNGIN YOU:).




.

Elle Clancy said...

Happy belated birthday! As always, I love your writing...honest and brave, the best way to be.

Enjoy your pool! Sounds divine.

Elle

Cindi Myers said...

Vicki,
Thank you!
Yes! 36!
LOL!
Sorry you aren't feeling the same. XOXOXOXO

I might put up a tip jar now. Just recently I've taken on even more at work.
The front office did my scheduling and it kept getting messed up so I just decided to do it.
While it's more work, it's less stress mentally.
So yeah, just might put up a tip jar!

Yes, the pool is helping a lot!
I came home today and could barely move and I went out and drifted and then started reading this most excellent book. It's life changing! and I will share more about it later.
Yep, the pool is my best investment ever!

Give Jack a hug and kiss from me!
XOXOXO

Cindi Myers said...

Doreen,
Thank you!
I agree, who's too say what's too old?
How can anyone be too old to do something?
I'm just not thinking about the number again until I need to go get social security!
HAHA!

Yes, Floating is wonderful!
Thanks again!
XOXOXO

Cindi Myers said...

Elle,
Thank you and thank you for the kind words about my writing!
That means so much to me.
XOXOXO
and yes! the pool is divine!
:D :D :D

Anonymous said...

Cindi,

Happy belated birthday!!! If you're anything like me, you probably celebrate all week long - so, hopefully, you won't think I'm late with my celebratory greetings to you.

I feel the same way you do about age. I think that when we acknowledge the number of years we've been alive, we are tying ourselves down somehow. I believe in the idea that time does not exist and that all we really have is right now -- so, it doesn't make sense to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Sure, it makes sense to "plan" in some way for the future so that you don't end up living precariously from one day to the next. But I really don't understand people who spend a lot of time trying to map out their future and who end up not really enjoying their life right NOW.

I think it's wonderful that you got yourself a pool and that it makes you really happy. What makes me happy is reading outside on the deck in my back yard and I've been doing that every evening this summer. I've read about 5 novels so far and I still have a big stack to go. Just give me a good book and a tall glass of iced tea and I'm happy. (But now I'm thinking about how much happier I'd be floating around in a pool while reading a good book....)

It's too bad that people don't tip you like they do the groomer. Unless one of my animals is sick, I don't board my animals when I go out of town. I use a pet-sitting service that sends someone to my house 3 times a day to feed them and take the dogs outside. I always add a tip to the final amount -- especially when the sitter has done stuff I wouldn't have expected them to (like water the plants or something like that). Maybe your customers don't tip because it's in a vet's office and they're not used to adding a tip to their vet bill. I think you should make one of your cute animal collages that has a dog in a boarding kennel with a caption that says, "Tips are welcome!" and hang it up somewhere that people will see it. :D

Grace

Cindi Myers said...

Grace,
No, Not all week long.
Although I did go to dinner with friends Tuesday night.
I think birthdays aren't all that fun actually.
Not only is a reminder of how long a person has been around
but it seems like I always get my feelings hurt too.
Of course that's MY problem and not anyone else's.
So I do need to work through THAT and get over it.
I'm turning my focus on just being happy from within.

I never seem to find time to read all the books I have but now
that I have the pool, I'm getting more reading done!
It's so relaxing.
Today it was over 100 degrees and work was crazy busy and I was exhausted to the
point of almost crying and then I came home and splashed around and felt SO much better.

Pools are marked WAY down right now!
You should think about getting one.
I got a fabulous deal and it's turned out to be a great investment for my
piece of mind.

Thank you about the tips.
I think I will do something like that.
I've been rearranging things and I might just add a tip box to the countertop!
LOL!
Thanks so much for everything!
XOXOXOXOXO

sassypackrat said...

I'm so sorry I missed your birthday. Having a pool can be very nice but the maintenance can be tricky. Enjoy and relax!

Cindi Myers said...

Thank you Jennifer!
I will!
XOXOXO