HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I have a lot to be thankful for.

I'm thankful that my sister and her girls live so close by.
I'm thankful for my home.
I'm thankful for my furry kids.
I'm thankful that I have a job.
I'm thankful that I'm healthy. (but I'm working on being healthier.)
I'm thankful for my friends, the ones that live close by
and the ones scattered all over the world that I have never meet,
but who stop by my blog, share emails, cheer me on and keep me going.
XOXO - Cindi

Co-Pilot

With the time change, it's light out when we leave for work.

Jimmy and Nora jump in the back and Blue sits in the front passenger seat.
Just like a person, he sits up straight.
I buckle him in.
Everyone is awake and alert.
They are excited to be going.

But when we leave work. it's dark.

In the back I have an old feather bed.
My sister was getting rid of it and thought my dogs would like it.
They do.
When we head home at night, Nora and Jimmy curl up and sleep while we head home.
and Blue?
Lately he's too worn out in the evening to sit up straight.
He sits in the passenger seat, buckled up but by the time I'm leaving the clinic parking lot
he's got his front feet down on the floor.
He rests his chin on the dashboard.
He's tired too, but stays awake.
He keeps his eyes on the road. He has to.
He's my co-pilot.

METANOIA

 

I have to be careful what I write about on my blog. I mean, anyone can read it.
It's not like they need to be a "friend".

But I've never been big on "secrets". Probably because I was raised by a man full of them. Everything was a secret with him. Boy, I could really write quite a bit about that or one could ask my sister, she goes crazy on that topic!
But some things are best kept as secrets.
Such as salary. Sigh....
Yeah.
I was just rolling along with my life, not ignorant of the fact that I am probably a member of the working poor but...
Hey! things could be much worse.
I could not even have a job.
Or I could still be working at the "bank".
Now THAT was awful.
Awful to wake up each morning and feel every joint in your body be heavy with dread.
It was a physical effort to sit up and rise from bed and go to work. Then to sit in a windowless room and research the mistakes that other people had made. Only to almost always find another that had to be corrected too. I look back on that times and wonder how I made it through those years where I felt like my life blood was being drained slowly out of me....
and I didn't even have a dog.
I suppose the fact that I had a part-time job all those years that was a polar opposite of the bank, helped me get through that time.
That and the fact that I was so very busy working.
Now I have a job that I don't hate.
I get to go outside.
I get to care for creatures that I mostly love. I won't lie here, there are the occasional annoying untrained or nasty boarders but I do my best to view them as a challenge.
A challenge to connect with them and get them to settle down and be happy.
So...
the other day when I came into work after taking a day off to try to stop being sick, I just needed to get some rest before the big holiday and get some energy back. I was pleasantly surprised when the vet tech who had covered for me and cared for the ONE dog that was in my boarding kennel (and the room of cats) told me that she is amazed how I do all the work myself every day.
She commented about how caring for, medicating, cleaning. doing laundry for one dog had kept her busy all day.
This Thanksgiving I will have more than 30 dogs and several more cats to care for and she shuddered at the thought.
I thanked her because most people think it's a "cushy" job (as my boss has stated) and they don't stop to think how keeping a level of concern and commitment and most importantly care for YEARS is not always easy.
But because I am a fanatic about it, I can't let myself ever lower my standards.
So.... it made me feel GOOD, kinda warm and fuzzy that someone GOT it.
I felt happy, almost contented
Then I walked up front, the boss hadn't arrived to work yet and I found there is a feud going on over salaries.
I was told that one person had told another person what yet another was making.
They were mad and angry.
One talked about the dollar amount and how they had a raise this year and hoped for another in January.
I felt like a balloon that someone had just blown up and then let go.
My air rushing out and my head sailing around the room.
It's been 3 years since I have gotten an increase and I've been employed there for over 10 years...
and most of these people have just started working there....
their $ amounts are evidently very close to mine.
Or more.
I walked back to my area.
Tears in my eyes and went outside with my little boarder and leaned over and scratched the top of her head.
I stood up, threw the rope toy and watched her race after it
and I questioned what I'm doing with my life.

 

I guess I'll go paint something.

SEVEN YEARS....

Wow! That just flew by!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUE!

(He's the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.)

Being SICK and a Business IDEA!

 I've been sick.

Physically. Achy, tired, dizzy with a sore throat type of thing.
and
Mentally. Because I've seen ugliness.
The last few months have opened my eyes to what is really inside of some people.
Sometimes it was just a difference of opinion and we might have said things that we shouldn't have but we listened to each others point of view, and then agreed to disagree, still be friends and move on.

I find that there are times when you don't always LIKE someone but it doesn't mean you don't still LOVE them .

But when things are said or written that creates a crack and lets you glimpse inside and you are able to see the awful truth, the hate and the ugliness that lives inside their heart.
When that happens it's best to step away before the evilness leaks out and contaminates you.
If it's rotten to the core, that's a waste of time and time is too short to waste energy trying to help and heal.

Maybe I'm a Pollyanna but it still shocks me that people can be so unkind and uncaring and hate-filled.

I'm not just talking politics, although that has definitely shined the light on some people lately.

I'm not just talking about heartless disregard of dogs and cats.
It's just that lately I've encountered so many mean self-centered people who can't figure out why they are so unhappy.

I realize that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
I know that I can be sarcastic and stubborn. Sometimes I'm lazy and whiny. I 'm indecisive on everything and then procrastinate when I do decide on something. I'm outgoing but secretively antisocial ...
a borderline-hermit. I'm judgmental and I have no time or use for anyone that doesn't care about animals and I harbor horrible thoughts about people who abuse them.
But I do believe that I am aware of my bad behavior and try to work on it.
(except for the animal part, that's in my DNA)
So, I'm trying to rid myself of these poison people in my life.
Sometimes it's easy and you're able to just "UN-friend" them.
Other times it's harder and you have to hide in the kitchen until they quit knocking and let the calls go to voice-mail.

Some are impossibly difficult because they are related to someone you care about.
Or worse yet, you work with them and you just nod, walk away and go hold a cat close.

Holding a cat close...

that gave me any idea.
I recently read about "Cat Cafes" in Tokyo.

I thought I could open one here. A place for people to come in for coffee or tea and sit and play with cats.

Maybe it would soften their souls.
Maybe they wouldn't take life so seriously and relax and just be.
I was thinking, what could be better than a a warm kitty purring against your heart?

and if it couldn't change some peoples mindsets, maybe it could be a refuge for others from those people.
But then I started having doubts.
What if the business failed? Where would the cats go?
I would need a bigger house.
My head hurts.
I think I will go not finish something.

AN EXTRA HOUR...

Wow, I needed that!

MELTDOWN

I had a bit of a meltdown last night.

I've had a long week at work and I came home to relax.
I got on Facebook and checked to see what was going on.
Initially I didn't like Facebook but then I discovered friends who Followed artists and I started following them too.
So now I have more friends that I've never met.
I also follow a deaf dog group and it really wasn't a surprise to find that there are many artists actively working with rescues groups.
Although sometimes the frequent postings of sad animal faces get to me.
I don't really know how to get around that one.
I sometimes pass it on when I think I know someone is that vicinity and might be inclined to go rescue them but I hate when they post dreadful things that I have no control over.
I really don't want that image burned into my brain.
Sigh...
I had a bit of headache. I don't usually suffer from those but maybe it was sign. Like when people say their joints ache when it's going to rain.
My dogs had been outside for their nightly run around and were back in.
Some were playing but most napping. I've been taking Blue, Nora and Jimmy with me to work everyday so Blue and Nora were resting from their day outing.
and Jimmy?

I thought he was chewing on his empty plastic 2 liter bottle.
There's a confession for ya. I still drink Diet Pop....and I have empty bottle laying around the house that the dogs chew on (until they are destroyed and then get tossed into the recycle bin).
Cheap toys.
and Jimmy Chew likes to live up to his name.
So I'm on Facebook and he is laying on his bed next to me chomping away when I look down.
Have you ever been so upset that you thought your head would explode?

In my effort to live in a more streamline minimal decor, I had been going through drawers and things, throwing away and donating STUFF. I had read somewhere not to hide away things you love but have them out where you can see them and look at them daily and appreciate them.
I'm not huge on knick knacky things...my cats cured me of that long ago, but the artwork on my walls and the things I have set around the house are treasures that I have found at estate sales or are a few prints off of Etsy or eBay but mostly they are gifts from friends and family...and those things are priceless.
So I had my beautiful not replaceable piece of art way up on a cabinet for me to see and smile at everyday. I loved it so much, not just because of the sheer beauty of it but because of the thought and friendship behind it.
and there was Jimmy, laying on his bed. chewing pieces of it.
I was shaking with fury.
Sobbing.
My house is littered with little rope toys and a big collection of stuffed toys carefully picked out from yard sales.
(baby toys with sewn eyes and noses. no plastic bits and pieces for my furry kids!)
and he had apparently jumped up on the kitchen chair and gotten to the cabinet and dragged down my treasured gift.
My head was about to split open and I grabbed his collar and dragged him to the laundry room and put him in a dog crate.

I did it for his own safety, from me.
I went back and sat down crying.
I was still on Facebook and typed out words.
My oldest niece was on-line and immediately text me and asked what it was.
(which I will never divulge because I don't ever want my friend to know)
I told her, and she said that was what she feared. She knew how I felt about a couple of things especially.
I must say that I immediately got some supportive comments and while I didn't really feel better, they were nice to read.
Of course, some people sided with Jimmy and pleaded for me to let him out of the crate.

People who don't really know me because by the time I got those comments he was already out, had his dinner and was happily tormenting Griffin, my senile old dog.
I did get a text from my sister, whom my niece had obviously contacted.
She sent her sympathies.
I tried to read my fav blogs but my head hurt so bad...from the headache and the crying, that I decided to just go to bed.
So....
what to do.
I guess put things even higher.
Or back in a drawer.
and embrace the minimalist modern style of decor.
and.... maybe Facebook isn't so bad.