Friday, October 18, 2013

Writer's Block

Have you ever had a week where so many things have happened,
so many topics to write about, that you didn't even know where to begin?
So you write...nothing.
I do have a couple of posts in limbo, floating in the drafts folder, waiting to be reworked.
Rambles that turned into rants, certainly not for enjoyable reading.
But there are also little blurbs of thoughts and saved links and photos of cool fun things.

My job has been overwhelming. The kennel is overflowing and it's pure craziness.
Everyone must have decided to use the same time for Fall vacations.
My own vacation was very productive, I accomplished quite a bit but
unfortunately I think there was a delayed reaction because suddenly
I'm physically exhausted. 
My mind can't entirely focus on anything.

The other night I was just idly scanning over Facebook posts
and suddenly I see a post, a comment in the form of a condolence.
I stop, go back to read it again.
I click on it, the photo of a friend and find more condolences.
She was someone that was in my house almost everyday as I very young.
Someone who was my sister's best friend when they were small.
A girl, actually a woman now of course, but to me she is frozen forever in time as this happy little girl. 
All skinny legs and giggles.
She had been posting photos of her vacation the same week that I had taken mine.
I had not commented but had almost left one for her about how youthful and happy she looked.
And now she had suddenly passed away.
Apparently she had come home from vacation and told her boyfriend that she wasn't feeling well.
That she had some congestion in her chest and was going to lay down.
Later when he went in to check on her, she was gone.
Slipped away. 
It will be a few more days until they know what exactly happened.
A heart attack or an aneurysm?
I'm in shock.
Although I haven't seen her in person for quite a while she was one of the very few people
who shared our lives before all Hell broke loose.
My sister and I were there when she lost her Dad.
She was probably 9?.
And then she was with us
when we lost our mom the next year.
And to make it even more coincidental is that she passed on the same day as our mother
and she was the same age.
While one thing has nothing to do with another, but for some reason it occurred to me
and of course later, when my sister text me with the same thought
I let her know that I had thought about it too.
Yes, I have so much to write about
but not sure where to begin or if I should even ever try.



Pamela Smallcomb said...

Cindi, I am so sorry. I wish I had words to make sense of life and the hardships that hit us. All I can say is that I'm thinking of you, and sending lots of virtual hugs. xox

Nita Stacy said...

Oh...that is awful. Just a reminder that you have to make the most of today! So sorry you've lost someone important to you. I was going to see my Mom tomorrow and then changed my mind because I have things I want to do...but now I think I better go see her. My projects can wait for another day. Love you.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry my friend. But at least she didn't suffer.

All the memories we have in our heads that we seldom remember comes back and it can become a bit too much.

Take care.

An Urban Cottage said...

Wow, something like that would shake you right down to the bootstraps. The similarities are strange, chilling even. I'm so sorry.

Jan said...

So sorry for your loss. What a shock! We never know how long we have, it is never enough. Take care of yourself. These losses take more of a physical toll on us than we realize at first. Hugs.

Gillian, @look_mama said...

Goodness me. : (
What a week.

Filled with all sorts of memories for you too, nice ones and sad ones.

These types of deaths are always so shocking.

If I could give you a hug, I would.