Thursday, May 7, 2015

WHITE HOT RAGE

I had thought I'd write a post this morning about this being my first day off of a very short vacation.
Wednesdays are my usual day off and
I have today, tomorrow and my usual Saturday morning off.
A mini-vacation.
I wanted to just paint.
No cleaning, tidying or yard work.
(Although I did pick up a few plants yesterday, BIG perennials on sale for $3.99)
and yet, here I sit on the computer.
Starting yesterday I received many texts, several messages via Private Messages on Facebook
and a phone call.
I debated posting about this but this is weighing so heavy on my heart that I must.
If you have been reading my blog for a while you will recall that there was a woman at my place of work who got caught telling the wage of a co-worker.
When questioned by HR, she said that I had told her. That I had gone into the Vet's office and looked at the check and then told everyone.
I had not done this thing.
When I was approached by HR I was so shocked that I immediately swore on Blue's life that it was not true.
Anyone that knows me, knows I wouldn't do this thing and definitely not EVER swear on my boys life.
Ultimately she confessed.
After a while, she was fired.
I even had to sit in on a conference call with the unemployment office where she once again confessed to going into the office, looking at the check and telling everyone the wage
and then she confessed that she did indeed blamed it all on me.

So... life goes on.
She's gone and out of my life.
She lives out in the country in a Rent to Own home and has a kennel building behind it where she breeds dogs.
She goes to dog shows and shows her dogs and shows other peoples dogs too.
She even traveled to Ireland to get a "special" puppy to breed to one of her dogs.
The puppy cost several thousands of dollars.
(He's the one on the left.)

I have a friend who lives past her place.
When there were the bad storms and tornadoes a month or so back my friend had commented that there was some damage done to this woman's property.
She mentioned something about the roof and also some of the fencing in the back area.
At the time I expressed my concern about her dogs but my friend said she never saw them outside anymore and that this woman had most likely taken them to Chicago were she had Breeder friends.
She said she highly doubted that she had the dogs any longer.
She said this woman had so many contacts in the breeding/show community that she had probably divided them up among those people.

Yesterday I get a text from someone that they just heard that there was a warrant out for this woman's arrest.
Apparently the people who owned the property had roofers go out to work on the roof.
When they got there, there was a horrible smell. Something that was so awful that they called the Sheriff.
The Sheriff came and found all the dogs except 3 dead.
They had been starved to death and the three remaining ones were barely hanging on and rushed to a vet clinic.
(not our clinic but one in her area)
and after some phones calls among breeders, apparently there was a fourth dog traveling with her to Chicago.
Our clinic found out about all of this because they scanned the dogs for micro-chips and they had been implanted at our clinic.
That is how everyone found out. That clinic had called our clinic.
Then, another woman at our clinic, who used to be friendly with this woman (before all the lies were discovered)
and who still breeds and shows dogs of her own was contacted by another breeder friend.
This woman that still works with us, has an elaborate and very expensive faculty and cares for her dogs with the very best of everything.

I personally won't go into my thoughts about breeding here.
That's not what this post is about today.

So I guess this woman, the one that lied about me, made it to Chicago but was turned away when her Chicago friend learned the truth
and that's when the phone calls started?  Not sure, but anyway...
Then I received messages that they heard that she was returning to the area, to turn herself into the authorities.
This morning I get another message that she had indeed returned and checked herself into a Mental Health facility
and was under Suicide Watch.
The dog she had with her, was taken and is now with the woman from work.

I have been long past any anger about her trying to do me in at work.
I figured she's gone and I have moved on.
I'm not fan of hers but I had reached a point of just indifference about her.
But now....

Yesterday I couldn't even think straight.
All I wanted was someone to place her in a dog crate and leave her to pee and poop and eat her own excrement until she starved.
Yep. That's how I felt.
Today I'm not much better.
When I received the message that she was under Suicide Watch, my reply was that I hoped they didn't watch her closely.
I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
If someone does something so hideous to an animal or a child or an elderly person....
I have no Mercy for them and I want the same done to them.

She had so may resources available to her.
People in her breeding/show community.
Specific breed rescues.
Hell, she could have called me and I would have come with my van and filled it and taken them to work and found them homes.
I know without a doubt, that if she had called Doc, he would have done something.
She could have called a shelter or even the sheriff's office and said that she needed help.
Instead she let them starve.

Later this morning, as more details come out, I find out that she didn't just leave them.
She actually lived there with them as they starved and that some of them had been dead for a while...
including her Ireland dog.
I can't get this out of my head.
I alternate between rage and grief and horror.
And now I'm remembering how she used to tell me at work that if anything ever happened to me,
that she would want my Blue.
She had said she'd fix up her spare bedroom for him and for me to make sure to put her in my "will" stating that she got Blue.
(Of course Lily gets everyone. So no worries there but...just the thought makes me want to vomit.)
I'm sorry to share this with you all. 
I just needed to let you know...I'm going to take a little break from here.
Maybe.
I don't know.
You all are my support system, my friends....
I just need to get my emotions under control.
I just need to relax and work on some Art and spend time with my animals
and hold them close to my heart.

24 comments:

Christer. said...

What You feel is just normal and I think any of us would feel just the same. But then we have the issue of mental health and she has probably had problems for quite some time.

God knows how she has been thinking byt my guess is that she has been depressed for a long time and most likely has been thinking the dogs were better of dead. Unfortunately they don't think clear or sane at all and the dogs are the ones that suffers.

I'm not writing this to her defence( people like You and me would probably rather have starved to death ourselves before any of our dogs would have felt any hunger), it was horrible what she did and she deserves anything bad she gets from this but this is just a try to explain why things can go so bad as it did here. In her mind this was the obvious way to go how, insane yes but for her it probably was logical. I feel so sorry for those dogs!

Christer.

sassypackrat said...

OMG! That's horrific! I can completely understand your anger at the unnecessary neglect and death of those dogs. I'm not religious but I totally believe there is a place in Hell for people like this. Seems there are some metal heath issues going on but that's no excuse to let an animal die like that. You have such a good heart that I know how this must just dig into your soul and I'm so sorry, sorry for it all. Hugs.

Cynthia Myers said...

Christer,
I understand what you are saying.
She's a monster.
And you are right about both of us making sure our dogs are fed.
Every night I come home and ALWAYS feed them all first and I would sell things or go hungry to keep them fed.
There was a time in my life when things were very rough and I took on several jobs, just to pay the bills and keep my pets fed... and if I hadn't been able to, I would have found them homes even if it broke my heart, rather than have them suffer.
I suppose she must have mental problems but I think she is selfish and evil and it's something that can't be fixed.
I'm worried because this was in Iowa and animal abuse laws aren't as strong in Iowa because of farming. Dogs are viewed as property.
I don't know... I just feel physically sick. I knew some of these dogs personally.
But I thank you for helping me understand...that she's crazy.

Cynthia Myers said...

Jen,
I hope there's a Hell.
At least for her.
But as horrible as this sounds, I'd like her Hell to be delivered here on Earth, now.
I shudder to think what she else she has done in her life. This can't be a totally isolated incident.
I think she's pure evil and I think she probably checked herself into Mental Health so that she wasn't put in jail.
I heard that several months ago her little dog, got loose and hit by a car. Now I'm even wondering if that was true or if something more horrible happened to him.
I hate the fact that her hands ever touched my Blue. It stuns me that someone so evil was in my daily work life for several years...
Totally creeps me out and brings my trust level to an all time low.
Thank you for commenting.
XOXOXO

tammy j said...

OH MY GOD.
oh.
i can hardly speak.
i see sometimes this kind of thing on tv while waiting for the weather to come on... and i vow i'll NEVER accidentally watch the news again...
but to WORK with someone like that!!! and
i'm in shock.
and i feel the same way.
just do yourself in lady. do the world and yourself a favor.
i'm sorry. but i get tired of the 'mental' excuse. i think some people are pathologically evil.
she hurts people. like what she did to you. and she hurts animals. there's something very very wrong there.
oh my cindi. oh my dearest bean.
that's a horrendous thing to go through for you.
and on the eve of FINALLY. FINALLY getting to spend some quality time at home.
try to put it from your mind my girl. and i say that and know that you can't. i couldn't can't either.
i think it was good that you wrote of it here. it's cathartic.
and it will help.
for what little it's worth at such a long distance...
we're here for you.
tomorrow i'll read the other comments. i think we all think the same thing. i just read and started typing. and i know it's too long. so i'll shut up now.
try to rest. and enjoy your little vacation. and know that she's GONE now from your life.
XOXOXOXOXOXO♥ that's a HUGE hug!

Cynthia Myers said...

Thank you Tammy.
I'm sorry you had to think about this.
I just needed to get it out.
I suppose it's better that I heard about all of this while I was at home and not at work. It would have been hard for me to act "normal" and go about business when I felt like being a raging lunatic.
I had a dream, no a nightmare, last night about those dogs. About that young one who stayed a few times at my kennel. There was also an adult one that Lily had wanted to adopt in the worst way when she meet her a year or so back. That one is gone too...
This world has so many heartless horrible people in it...the only thing that makes it tolerable are knowing that you and my other blogger friends are out there. Kind, caring people and of course the animals.
Animals who are so much better than the human race.
XOXOXOXO

Anonymous said...

Cynthia,

I think I know exactly how you feel. I am SO not a violent person unless it involves people who abuse those who depend on them. And then I feel like no amount of punishment would be enough.

She sounds like a despicable person. I really, really wish people would quit "buying" dogs and cats -- so that breeders would not see it as an easy way to make money. I don't understand that mentality -- of breeding companion animals that you have no interest in other than the money you will be making from them. I've been volunteering at an animal shelter for about 10 years now and we get so many dogs and cats from these kinds of hoarder/breeder situations. It is so heartbreaking what these animals go through.

It sometimes makes me wonder about these hoarder/breeders -- and not just about their mental state. Do they not have family or friends who come to visit regularly enough to notice that something wasn't right? It sounds like this particular sicko lived far enough away from other people that she escaped the notice of neighbors. I definitely believe that people who breed and sell animals should be required to be licensed by an agency that has to check up on them periodically.

Like the people who commented above, I really hate hearing about stuff like this because it will stay with me for weeks. But you actually knew this monster (and the poor dogs she tortured) -- so I know it has to be even harder for you to deal with this. I hope you are able to get to a place where it does not eat at you constantly.

Stuff like this makes me just want to go home and hug my animals extra hard.

Anonymous said...

Oops, I forgot to sign my name to my comment.

~Grace

Laura C said...

WOW... just wow... I know a tiny bit of what you are feeling. I witnessed one of our neighbors abusing his dog, called police and animal control and was still crying and feeling physically shaky about it for close to a week. While nothing makes this situation any better, at least the 3 remaining are getting care and will hopefully survive while the others are no longer suffering but running around in heaven. Hugs! Do a lot of snuggling with your critters. It does help soothe your soul.

Cynthia Myers said...

Grace,
Sorry that I put this in your head and everyone else's. I just couldn't go about my business like nothing had happened.
Just the other day, the day before I left for vacation, a person came in with a puppy to get puppy shots. She had brought papers to show what vaccinations that the pup had already had and on that paper listed the price of $799.00 for a little "terrier mix" that she had gotten from a pet store.
I couldn't help wonder where that pup originally came from and if it's poor mother was trapped in a cage somewhere. People just don't understand that as long as they keep buying these puppies, backyard (puppy mill) breeders will continue to abuse the parents of these puppies.
It's truly heartbreaking.
They could find a wonderful pet at a shelter. My pets are proof of that.

and Yes, no matter what they do to that monster, it won't be enough.
Thank you for this comment.
XOXO

Cynthia Myers said...

Laura,
Thank you for taking time to comment. You have so much going on in your life, it's very kind of you to stop by.
(I hope things are looking up.)
I'm sorry to read that you witnessed that. How horrible. What is wrong with people? I don't understand where this evilness comes from. They must have been born that way.
You are right, thank goodness some made it out of that place.
I'm sure that the other dogs have to be in Heaven.
Thank you.
xoxo

Cheerful Monk said...

I'm so sorry this happened, and that you have to go through it! And I'm glad you wrote about it to get support from your friends so you're not so alone with it. Now I hope you can find some comfort in your own pets and your art. Love and sharing our creative efforts is one way of combating all the cruelty and ugliness in the world.

Cynthia Myers said...

Thank you Jean.
It did help to write about it.
And I have found comfort with my own pets...
Unfortunately another co-worker just contacted me tonight. It's now in the News and it's much worse than we knew.
The worst for me is that her little dog that she had said had been hit by a car a month or so ago, was found.
He too had been starved.
I'm told that her parents took him home for a proper burial.
I hope they lock her away and throw away the key.
Thanks for your kind words.
XOXO

Anonymous said...

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse! The fact that she seemed to lie about a LOT of things makes it obvious she knew right from wrong. So, it doesn't seem like there was something wrong with her that might be fixed with medication. She really does sound pathological and needs to be locked away for good.

Even though it's hard to read about these things, it's harder to experience it in your own life. So, I am glad you were able to write about it. From what you said about her parents taking the little dog home to bury it, I am guessing they are nothing like their daughter. Can you just imagine what her parents must be going through? I know I would feel like an utter failure as a parent if I raised a child who could hurt an animal.

~Grace

Cynthia Myers said...

Grace,
Yes, just when I thought it couldn't be worse.
:(
And her parents, although I don't know they well, I remember that when she worked at the clinic, she was always going to dinner with them and bowling and her Dad was always helping her with house and car stuff.
I've been told that her parents said that she never tried to contact them for help. They are devastated and apparently only they or the Sheriff have the power to get her released from the Mental Ward.
And I've been told that her parents have disowned her, so that won't be happening.
When I was little, if we kids were being bad, my Dad would say to us "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!" of course he didn't mean it but in this case, that would be how I feel.
It's like a horror show.
Thanks for stopping by again.
xoxo

tammy j said...

i came back.
and this time i read all the comments.
our state is terrible about puppy mills. red neck idiots.
seriously.
and the damn state just slaps their hands and gives them MAYBE a fine of $200. that's NOTHING.
it's one of my passions... to end puppy mills.
i have to be careful. and i know you do too. there are things that literally can take me down.
ruin my faith in mankind itself.
i just don't understand how a loving god ... if there is a god... can tolerate such cruelty.
free will is one thing. but these are his own INNOCENT creatures!
and here... this is too long again.
i wish for you some rest. and some healing to your sad heart.
i love you dear little sister.
xoxo♥

Cynthia Myers said...

Ooooh, sigh.
Tammy I just don't know.
I'm not very religious...
I'm more spiritual.
I've tried to live by the Golden Rule, that's what my Dad used to tell me.
"Treat others as you would want to be treated".
If there is a God, why would he let little kids get cancer?
Why would he let my Mom pass away?
Why would he....so many things.
Maybe it's because in the grand scheme of things, there's something so much bigger and better that waits.
Or maybe he's just sitting there watching us and waiting to see who wins.
Maybe he watches to see if we will use up the planet and kill everything good.
Or maybe, as my Dad used to say...
You die and you're done. That's it.
End of game.
OK, I don't think THAT...I feel sure there's MORE but....
Yeah, I am hoping and PRAYING for a Hell though, for people who torture, abuse, kill.
I just don't understand, and like you, I have to be careful not to let it get to me too much.
Of course, that's kinda like telling me to breathe through my ears.
But all we can do is try.
Love you too!
XOXOXO

Doreen@househoneys said...

Wow. Just wow. This is beyond comprehension. How someone could be so far gone to do this. To have no regard for innocent lives.

I can understand why you hesitated to write this Cynthia, but I understand even more why you did. Some things just need to be put out there,

A few weeks ago something similar happened with horses. I knew the person who was responsible, but not well. A good friend of mine did know her well, and she's still upset about it and can't get it out of her head. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel.

I'm so very, very sorry.

Cynthia Myers said...

Thank you Doreen,
Sadly, every day we get a few more details. I've tried not to keep posting what they are but it just keeps getting worse.
It boggles my mind and makes me sick to my stomach. I still feel nauseous.
But soon the remaining dogs will be going on to a great rescue and I'm trying not to think about the ones that didn't make it.
I'm sorry to read that some horses were also abused. I just don't know how people can be like that and then still go out into the world and pretend that they are a normal human being and not a monster.
Thanks for your kind words.
xo

leslie said...

c, i am so sorry i missed this post until now.

sometimes i read the stories about animal abuse, and i wish i could scrub my brain afterward so that i could forget them. i can't imagine how you must feel.

maisie and i are sending much love.

Cynthia Myers said...

Thank you Leslie,
Give Maisie an extra hug and kiss from me.
xo

Nita Stacy said...

Oh...gosh...I just read this. Sickening...but it sounds to me like this woman was mentally ill for quite awhile. Why would anyone spend so much money on a dog just to let it starve. If she had connections...if she was in her right mind at all...she would have asked for help. You are going to have to think of it like that...that she was ill...or she would not have done it. Just horrid. horrid...

Cynthia Myers said...

Nita,
Yes, you are right of course.
She's ill.
But I will never forgive her.
If she was able to function and feed herself, she should have feed those poor dogs.
I just heard that she's been released from the Mental place.
Yep, she's out and walking around...
I can't stand the thought.
I hope that when she goes to court they do more than slap her wrist.
It all makes me ill.
:(

At Rivercrest Cottage said...

Cynthia, she must surely have a mental condition that led her to abandon life. Because of the memory of what she's done, she will never again have peace, which is far worse the death.