Sunday, July 10, 2011

A REALIZATION and a DECISION


I'm sure you have all probably seen this kitty video several times.
I know that Gillian has posted it on her blog
http://lookmamaloves.wordpress.com/
But I just think this is something that I will never tire off.
I also want to THANK EVERYONE again for all your kind comments left to me on the loss of Little Bug.
I am grieving but also trying to work through my guilt.
Some of my pets are SO in my face that I notice every little thing about them.
But she was a bit aloof, not a cuddler and only came around to demand dinner or a door to be opened.
I didn't realize that she actually needed HELP until it was too late.
This has been a HARSH and HORRIBLE wake-up call to me. In my attempt to rescue those in need, I have failed. I will not adopting anymore kitties. Horton is picked on and chased by my dogs, so I have talked with my boss and he's agreed to let him become a "clinic cat".
We already have 2 cats at the vet clinic who walk around and visit the clients and sleep on the counters and do whatever they please. Plus they get full medical attention and quality food.
Horton should fit in well because he knows when and how to avoid rowdy dogs but he also knows where to go for a belly-rub.
My Dewey is only two years old
and Charlie is four.
And I expect them to be with me for years and years. Everyone else is older and when they go to Heaven, I will not be bringing anyone else home to fill their "spot".

6 comments:

Suzie said...

How did I miss this? I'm SO sorry that you had to say goodbye to your gorgeous furbaby! I've been in your shoes and how how hard it is. My heart is aching for you.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Even cats that are VERY interactive with their humans are very good at hiding signs that they don't feel well. And all too often, they have illnesses or ailments that don't cause them any distress until they have become a real challenge to treat.

And sometimes, these illnesses can lay dormant in them long before they ever came into your life, only to suddenly and viciously, without warning, become full blown. It leaves you not only grieving, but stunned, causing you to double think, and then doubt yourself, wondering what you could have done differently, when in fact, it is out of your hands.

But, we still blame ourselves. We want to give the ones we love, the best care available, and when we feel helpless we feel like a failure. That we have let them down. But that isn't so. And I think that on a level that we don't understand, they know that, much better than we ever do.

You gave your Little Bug a good life. .much better than a lot of alternatives that immediately come to mind. And most importantly, she is loved in the best way possible. And she knew it. .and still does.

As for your decision to not bring any more kitties into your home, I can understand how you may feel that way now, but don't ever seal that door shut. There maybe one who comes along who just doesn't fit anywhere else, but would be perfect in a canine setting. I am speaking from personal experience. I have a "grandkitty" who is a German Shepard in a cat suit.

You do what you think is right for Horton, and see how he adjusts. You may find that he misses his doggie friends, but if he thrives, then you have found the perfect solution for him! Out of curiosity, is he deaf? I've been told numerous times, by people who have all white cats, that all white ones are always born deaf, but am wondering if it is indeed true, or a strange coincidence from those that I know.

I'm sending you HUGE comforting hugs.
Hugs & love,
Suzie

Georgina said...

I love your menagerie, Cindi...what a group of furry friends you have!! Around here, the ferrel cats have made the news...too many of them. There are a couple that hang out here and I feed them, unbeknownst to my honey, and love seeing them tease my Chihuahuas...really quite funny.

A few years back when I was still in school, a class buddy and I would walk to our early morning class, passing through the Undergrad building where they had a really nice patio and desert garden with a Bhutanese style arbor. Every morning a black cat would come out to greet us from behind the desert bushes...he was so friendly and sweet. We noticed there were cat food cans spread around, so we assumed they were being fed. One day, I was walking back to my car after spending a long day in the library and I met the young woman taking care of the Undergrad building cats...she had all this canned food in her backpack...I stopped to help her open them up. A few weeks later, the cats were gone and we heard they had been removed by animal control. My buddy and I missed our little black friend's purring and attention, but he was too wild for us to to handle because my friend wanted to take him home, but the cat resisted.

Glad you babies will be around for a long time. Have a great week.

xxoo,
Georgina

Gillian said...

You do so well by them all. Don't beat yourself up over Bug. She was a lucky cat. And you have used a mistake to change a few things around and that is good too.

: ) x

PS Maru belongs to the WORLD!

thecottagebythecranelakeolof1 said...

I tried to comment here all day yesterday but blogger only gave me error messages!!! I do hope I can comment today!

Cats are great in concealing how bad they really needs help so don´t blame Yourself for knowing to late.

I´ve put a limit to how many animals I can have at the same time, four dogs (no matter how big :-) ) and two cats. So I still have place for one more dog :-) :-)

Have a great day!
Christer.

Robin Kent said...

Don't know how I missed this post, either.
So sorry for your loss. I've reflected often on how I didn't jump to save my previous kitty from a fatal disease that I didn't notice until too late. I felt so bad after giving her the best of everything for all the years I had her -until that.
Just didn't know it would turn out so bad or I definitely would have taken action.
We can only do the best we can with what we know at the time. Don't beat yourself up over 20/20 hindsight. That was one lucky kitty - better life than most. And you gave her a no-pained ending. Don't we wish we all could have that?

yoborobo said...

Cindi - just think where these animals could have been without you, and the people you work with. So no more guilt. Animals will get sick (as you well know) no matter where they live, and I am betting ALL your animals have fun every single day. My cats and dogs amuse themselves quite nicely, and so far Sophie hasn't eaten anyone - lol! I do keep an eye on them, but kitties are so independent, it is hard.
You are a lovely person who takes fabulous care of all of her animals.
Now, I hope Blogger lets me post - lol! xox Pam