Sunday, April 12, 2015

TORNADO, FIRE, a CAT and a DOG and STUFF.

I need to write a post......
I have so many things swirling in my head
and don't know where to start.
I've just been thinking about so many things.
About... life.
About how I spend my time.
About my level of Happiness.
How I have such a list of what I want to do
and NEED to do.
And I always feel guilty if I don't do all that I need to do.

Spring was arrived.

In little bursts of warmth
but the nights are still cold.
But soon I can start building my fence!
I'm not sure where to place it... but that's for a different post.

So anyway,
I had breakfast with a friend
The one that accomplishes so much in a day
and she shocked me when she said she was tired.
Tired of doing it all.
That she just wanted her life to be simplified.
How she wouldn't mind moving from her home to a smaller house or
possibly even a condo with no yard.
Her house is so pretty and her yard landscaped perfectly!
I was so surprised.
She said she was tired of spending so much time on it.
I told her how I too thought that I resented working out in the yard
because it took time away from all the other things I needed to be doing and creating.
But I said that I also found it incredibly calming.
Like meditation.

But even if I was working hard outside, I felt stressed that I should be doing something else.
She understood but said that she didn't enjoy it at all.
So I could see why she would want to move.
We got to talking about how we used to shake our heads at people who hired others
to do their cleaning and yard work and home improvements
and how we never understood why someone would spend money when they could do it themselves.
Both of us have always scraped together our pennies for everything but
suddenly we understood why others did it...

The other day a tornado touched down, not here
but not far from here either.

We have warnings every Spring but we are almost always lucky.
They kept showing photos of the destruction that the high winds had done locally.
There was a storage place where units were knocked over and blown about.
I couldn't help notice the one that was mostly just knocked off of its footings.
You could see the contents still inside.  
It was packed to the ceiling.
Not in some orderly boxed fashion but stuff just jammed in a huge pile.
I thought about how someone was paying for all that STUFF to just sit piled up in there.
Why?

And why do I have STUFF in my basement? Still!
Furniture, wood, things I'm going to USE someday.
Things I'm going to paint and improve and make BIG money on... someday.
And things in Rubbermaid containers that someone will want to buy... someday,
in a shop online that I have never opened
or in a garage sale that I would dread having.
I'm no better, not really.
I mean, OK I haven't rented space for my STUFF and it's more organized but....

Then they showed where the tornado had hit.

People devastated over their destroyed homes and lost belongings.
I can't even imagine how horrible and tragic that would be. 
My house means the world to me
and my home has so many things that have deep meaning to me.
Things my nieces have made me and a few cherished items from my past.
They talked to a man who said at least everyone got out alive in his family and how
that was the important thing
and he's right.
Two people in the town lost their lives and many were injured.
If a tornado were to ever hit my home, my animals would be my only concern
I would not be worried about anything else inside of it.

Then they talked to a woman who looked to be about my age.
She was saying how devastating it was and how thankful she was that no one had been hurt.
Then she hesitated and said that it was kinda "cleansing".
To be rid of everything.
I'm sure that many people would be very critical of her words, but I got what she was trying to say.

A while back I was watching "The Talk" and Marie Osmund was a guest.
Somehow they got onto the topic of having a lot of STUFF.
She said that when her parents had passed, she had put everything of theirs into a garage to save.
One day the garage caught fire and she lost everything they had left behind.
The ladies of The Talk started to offer her sympathy and she shook her head.
She stated that the fire had done something that she was unable to do herself 
and therefore it wasn't necessarily a bad thing...except for the photos.

The other day I was standing in my kitchen trying to FINALLY decide whether to paint my red china hutch white or black.
A long time ago my kitchen had a lot of red but not any longer.
I decided that black would probably be the right choice.
It would balance with the black shelf above the sink
and the black framed photos resting on it
and the dark clock above it.
I stood back and stared at the shelf and other things.
I was in deep thought about it.
My house is a 100 years old and the walls are plaster and lath.
When you drive a screw or nail into them, you can hear the plaster fall behind the wall.
The shelf has always be a precarious thing.
So I stood there and suddenly for no reason,
Ghost leaping onto the edge of the sink and knocked the shelf off the wall.
(Ghost on my red china hutch)

The little ceramic leaf that also sat on the shelf and held some jewelry fell and broke.
I gathered up everything quickly and turned and looked at the space.
Suddenly it seemed clear and clean and more spacious.
I looked over at the china hutch, maybe I could paint it white!

So... I don't need a a horrific event like a tornado, a fire or 
even my sweet cat to change things in my life.
Maybe I need to stop looking at everything in my life as what it COULD be
and just BE.
And stop focusing on the money I spent in the hopes of bringing in more.
Or creating/ painting with an eye always on how to make some cash.

I know that the Law of Attraction is that if you focus on something it will happen.
If you think it, it will be so.
They say if you keep thinking "I won't be late, I won't be late"
The Universe will just focus on the "being late" part, and you will be late.
If you instead think, I will be on time, then you will be on time.
It's the focus on the good positive and not the negative.
Which I think is the answer whether you believe in The Universe and Law of Attraction or not.

Sigh, I don't know.
I'm just thinking out loud or rather blogging out loud.
I've talked about this STUFF so many times
and I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow.
I frustrate myself.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks,
but we all know that's not true.
It's just finding the energy to do it all.
(Blue is exhausted too.)


8 comments:

tammy j said...

i see a sea change in you.
don't you love that expression? i always have.
it's from the deep in us.
maybe the more secure we feel in our lives... the less we need STUFF.
stuff takes the place of so many things.
when you're secure in your life and your heart... and as you say... just being...
you can let it go.
you'll know when no doubt.
i'm just so glad it's more like spring for you now! SUN and GREEN!
and a beautiful wonderful little 100 year old cottage. full of total unconditional loving beings!
you included! LOL. XOXOXOXO♥
the picture of ghost on the red hutch. oh my. and i love the red.
and the picture of blue on the couch... i could just HUG HIM!!!♥

Cynthia Myers said...

Tammy,
Even though I have STUFF, I have been slowly getting rid of some things and as odd as it sounds, I do feel like I'm on the edge. Like just one more step and I can do it.
I'm thinking of dragging it all outside and putting up a big sign out front that says yard sale.
Then after the sale I will donate whatever is left.
Hey, it could be my "fence fund" LOL!
Yes! I will do that.
Now I just need a Saturday off with nice weather. :D
I'm also embracing my house for what it is and just being happy making it a home.
Slowly but surely, I'm going to get there!
The red looks good in that photo I think because of Ghost's eyes and the green pot but...I really need to paint it! LOL!
and Blue, I know! God I love that dog.
Thank you for your wise words and for being such a great friend!
xoxoxo

Hartwood Roses said...

Many of us feel this change happening within us ... you have described it so well! Simplifying and getting rid of extraneous stuff is a process, like gathering the stuff had been in the first place.

I have a low stress way of dealing with the process. There is a large cardboard box in our living room (a room that we haven't restored and rarely use) Whenever we feel the urge to clear out a drawer, or when we come across an item that we don't want anymore, the stuff gets dropped into the box. When there's a good amount of stuff in the box, I inventory it for tax purposes, package it up, and drive it to a local thrift shop that supports an animal rescue in the next county. Now that I think of it, the box is getting kinda full.

Cynthia Myers said...

Thanks for this comment Connie!
That's such a good idea, to fill a box.
I wish that there was a place that supported an animal rescue. The Salvation Army store here marks all their donations so high that only people with money can afford to buy their things. I saw a child's bed marked to $249. It just seemed wrong. I guess the money does go to help people in need which is better than Goodwill where the CEO is a multi-millionaire!
I just have to let go of this STUFF.
It's so hard because I have so many ideas of things I could create with this stuff but no time and the time that I do have, I want to donate it to doing things more important to me.

Nita Stacy said...

I realized the other day that I have nothing I am looking forward to any more. Nothing. That is not good. Usually, I at least have something I'm making that I look forward to working on or at least finishing. Instead I focus each day on selling...and not doing that very well. I hear people talk about the law of attraction and visualization and to be honest this is how I lived my life up till I was about 38 when everything fell apart. And truthfully the visualization worked for me. But when I lost so much that I wanted I just couldn't imagine things any more and I just haven't gotten back to it. It became childish to me to day dream how things would be and they fall apart....so I quit dreaming.

Cynthia Myers said...

Nita,
I posted this comment this morning just as I was leaving for work.
I have thought about it all morning.
It really upsets me because I care about you so.
I've been there.
In fact I was sort of feeling like that when I wrote this post but....then I snapped back.
Sometimes, being a single person, doing it all on your own and not having your life turn out as you expected is very hard mentally.
I think, no I know, that as we grew up we were told that we had to marry and have kids and have a house and have...so many things to be truly happy.
I sometimes still feel...cheated.
But truly, we need to find our happiness in something other than the bill of goods we were sold.
That's what I'm working on for myself. To stop and THINK, what is IT that really truly makes me happy? or will make me happy?
Sometimes I think the answer could be something we have never expected.
Please know that you can always contact me if you need to talk.
XOXOXO
Take care of yourself.
and please, don't stop dreaming.

Christer. said...

Perfect doesn't mean happy :-) and I think You know what I think about all the other things You wrote about too :-) Especially the white and black home :-) :-) :-)

I like my little cottage but it's after all just that, a cottage and it can be rebuilt if anything would happen to it and if it was rebuilt I would know I wouldn't have to do anything more with it until I was dead and gone :-) :-) :-)

Have a great day!
Christer.

Cynthia Myers said...

Christer,
I envy you.
You are so at peace with yourself.
And you are right, LOL!
If everything burned down, it could be replaced with shiny new things that worked!
You have such a positive attitude.
Apparently the only thing we completely agree about is our love of our animals!
And really, if they are ok, then all is right with the world.
(And fun about the black and white stuff because Sweden is the biggest influence in that kind of decor!)
:D :D :D