CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

The Universe hears what you think about.
And delivers.
Sometimes you wish for something
and when it happens, you get scared.

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Or maybe that's just me.

So, FOREVER I've been wanting help and relief at work.
I do have some very good help
but they are part-time and they all work full-time jobs elsewhere.
So that has still left me working 6 days a week.
Well... Not anymore!

I've hired someone who is an adult.
Someone who has known Doc for a very long time,
although he had no idea that she was looking for a job.
She had told our Hospital Administer that she was looking for employment.
The H.A. knows her because they are both dog breeders.
One of the vet techs knows her very well also,
because she is a breeder too.

I must mention here that they are all legitimate breeders of Show Dogs
and not the backyard variety.
Anyway, apparently dog breeders are a community and all know each other.

So I hired this woman who cares for her own multiply dogs daily.
So she knows hard work.
She's had to administer drugs to them, so she has no problem giving medications.
She's somewhere in my age group
and she loves dogs.
She's very nice and pleasant.
So what more could I ask for?

Now I have Wednesday's off!
Can you imagine me having two days off in one week!?
I'm in Heaven.

So I had yesterday off and I had a lot of plans for my day.

First I met my friend for an early (6am) breakfast
and then I came home to tackle 2 BIG projects.
Since Thursdays are trash day, I decided to pick up a little bit around the house first
so I could get rid of some things.
Somehow I ended up sorting through and rearranging two rooms!
I worked on it all day and had a HUGE contractor bag full of stuff for the trash.
I've decided that on Wednesday I will always spend a little bit of time to throw away a few things.
And also load a few items in the car to donate.
I felt good even though I had not gotten to the 2 BIG projects!

So I returned to work today and had my usual notes
and several phone messages to return
and reservations to make and...
Then I noticed a note of my desk.

The new woman had made a boarding appointment in the computer
and asked if she had done it right and if so, could I call and confirm with the client.
I had not taught her this step yet.
I looked at the reservation and it appeared that she had done everything right.
But how had she done it ? and who had taught her?

I went and asked the Hospital Administer if she had come to her for help
while I was off but she was surprised and said No!
The H.A. asked how did she know the program for it?
I shrugged and went back to my area.

Later that morning the new woman dropped by.
She had an appointment for one of her dogs but wanted to know
if I had seen the note and if had she done the reservation right.
I told her Yes. She had done it correctly but how did she know how to?
She replied that she just figured it out! LOL!
I said if she had down it wrong or messed up the schedule I might have been upset
but since she did it right, that everything was fine and then I kinda laughed.

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A little bit later I went up and told the Hospital Administer that she had "just figured it out"
to which she replied "Wow!"
I said "Yeah, I know!"
and then (although I've had this in the back of my mind since Day One)
I said "Yeah, and she tidied up the area next to the cabinet where everyone tosses stuff!"
I paused and then added -
"Yep! She's after my job and but she can't have it!"
Everyone laughed and I went back to my area.

A half hour later I went to get my hoodie
but it wasn't jammed on the shelf by my desk.
I looked around and there it was! Hanging on a hook!

Later when I had to go back up front to the office area with some files
I walked over to the bin and put the files in it and turned around and said
to the Hospital Administer and the other office girls -
"She hung up my hoodie!"
and as I walked away as they all started laughing.

But to be honest,
it's a good thing.
I was scribbling down ideas all day on scratch paper and post-its.
Ideas of things I want to do and create.
All plans for my Art.
News ideas and game plans.
So this is REALLY a GOOD THING!
The Universe has sent me just what I've been needing.
I've been putting everything BEFORE my Art and I need to re-focus.
My Art needs to more important.
I've been on the edge and I just needed a push.

Finding POSITIVES in the NEGATIVES.

Maybe I was mumbling this week because
The Universe was not getting my messages correctly.
Maybe I lost focus and somehow concentrated on the wrong things but
this week kinda sucked.

There I go again. I just focused on the negative!
I need to shake that off and look at the positives!
I tell ya, this is a real learning process.
I have to keep catching myself and adjusting my attitude.

OK, where should I start?
Here's a positive!
I had received several emails (FOUR) from VIDA about them liking my Art
and asking me to submit some artwork.
I looked over their website and it appeared to very nice high-end clothing
and I REALLY liked how they helped their workers to become literate.
They set the prices and handle all the production and shipping
and then I get 10% of the sells.
You can read about that HERE.

So I made an account with them and submitted some of my photos for silk scarves
and they were "pending" and then they evidently liked them and posted them.
Only problem was, they weren't a high enough resolution.
They asked me to correct that and I just don't think it's possible to get them to the pixels and dpi that they need.
Truthfully, I don't know much about that kind of thing and they suggest Photoshop, which I don't have.
I tried to change them in my "Paint" program but then it wouldn't let me open it up and do any other editing.
So I went to my account and took the images off.
I don't want someone to order one and for it not to be available.
I took some quick photos to show what it DID look like before I took it down-

So the Positive of this Negative is, they liked my work.
To be honest, I'm not that majorly bummed.
I mean I thought it was cool but it wasn't the direction that I dream of going towards.
I have THAT worked out in my head and will share for another day.

Kinda tied to that because it is computer related is the Negative that my older PC is done.
It started out with the cat puking on the keyboard and then another day he jumped on me while I was drinking coffee and it spilled everywhere.
Of course the fact that  he was always walking on it probably didn't help.
Then finally it just came on in the middle of the night and the screen was glowing and making weird sounds.
When it happened I woke up to this eerie light in the hallway and I walked out and down a couple of steps and peered through the banister at the computer screen and I immediately thought of Poltergeist and quickly ran down and shut it off.

My laptop has been on the fritz for a while too.
It was refurbished to begin with and it runs very hot and sometimes just blacks out and shuts down when it's not plugged in.
The Positive! - I can do a lot on my iPhone. It's hard for me to comment on other blogs sometimes but I can do partial posts on it and upload photos and sometimes I can use my work computer on my lunch hour to finish up stuff.
Another Positive is that I think by keeping it plugged and if I get a laptop cooling pad it will solve that problem.
So I'm optimist about that!

OK, here's another Negative -  this Shingles thing I have, maybe.
It's called Zoster vine Herpete and it's basically shingles without the rash.
I have all the symptoms, the burning feeling on the skin
not a deep pain like somethings wrong in my tummy or in my side.
But I got to thinking, maybe it's a pulled muscle.
I did try to move/lift some thing a few weeks ago that weighed A LOT.
(Probably 200 lbs at least)
and I did lift a couple of bigger dogs this week to bathe...

Anyway I'm really done with it.
I want it over and I'm sick of it hurting but
on the POSITIVE, if it's the Shingles thing, it could be the one with the rash and
it could be somewhere visible so I'm lucky it's not that and
if it's a pulled muscle, it will eventually heal
so I need to shut up about it and count my lucky stars.

Then... I hesitate to post this but I share everything here so....
GULP.
I have (had) a HUGE vet bill.
Doc is aware of it but has been tolerant of it because every dog bath I do,
the money goes directly onto my account.
Sadly I only make between $5.00 to $7.50 a bath so realistically I'd probably be dead before it got paid off
(if I just paid it down that way.)
So I've also made monthly payments to it too.
OK, so this is what happened -
#1 Mean Girl jumped my niece about her bill and made a HUGE deal about it at work
and then dragged my name and the amount of my bill into it too and then Doc walked into the room and she started ranting to him about it.
It kinda put him on the spot, as others do not have such a high balance.
In the past I've gotten my bill pretty low but then someone has gotten sick and...

Anyway. I didn't want Captain Mean Girl to make it into something REALLY BIG
and gossip to everyone about it so I went and took all my emergency money that I had (per advice of Tammy and Sharon) and
applied it all to my bill and put the rest on a super low interest deal that my credit card company was offering.
BUT the positive is THAT bill is gone and next time when they ask me to bathe a huge rowdy out of control dog who's sure to throw my back out or pull a muscle, I can politely decline.
In the past I felt obligated to do it because of my bill.
Another Positive is the fact that I have GOOD friends who had told me to accumulate a emergency fund and therefore I had it to use!
Another Positive is that I'm not worried about it.
I will make more Art and more cash will come my way and my bills will disappear!

Finally, my last Negative is... I realized this week that my Blue isn't young.
I mean, I knew that but this week it hit me hard and I'll tell you what happened to make me realize it but first I will share how the same thing happened to me with my Dad.
My Dad always looked MUCH younger than his actual age but we all do age.
It just happens, but sometimes it does it so slow and that it creeps up and you don't realize it.
Yep, that and a big heaping lump of denial stirred into all.
Anyway I had gone into a restaurant to pick up an order many years ago and a man walked in who I thought at first glance was my Dad.
Just as I was about to call out to him, I realized it wasn't him at all.
It was just an elderly man that looked like him.
I was depressed for days.

So...with Blue.
He hates nail trims.
He curls his lip and runs and hides under the kitchen table (or tries to but he's too big to get all the way under there) but he hides when he sees the nail clippers.
So I've always just taken him to work and they have him step on a "bale" that Doc uses for "big" chiropractic patients. (Huge dogs and horses).
When he was young it took a vet tech on each side of him and one behind him and me scratching his forehead and keeping him focused on me while a 5th person cut his nails.
Over the years, the number of people it takes to do the job keeps going down.
Now it's only two people.
So when I took him in this week to have them trim them, I took photos of him.
Later at home I looked at the photos and it hit me,
My Blue is an old man.

Then the night before last, he wouldn't eat his food.
If someone asked me about their own dog skipping a meal, I would say not to worry.
I'd say - Give it 24 hours and see if he just had an upset tummy, To let it settle.
Not to worry as long as his belly wasn't hard.
A hard belly can mean bloat and in that case you must rush your dog to the emergency vet immediately.
Anyway.
I felt his belly, it wasn't hard.
Then I called my sister and told her he wouldn't eat and then I burst out crying.
Finally she calmed me down and asked me what was wrong and I told her that Blue was old.
God, I'm tearing up writing that!
Jeez.
The Positive - The other morning I gave him special canned food and he ate it.
and last night he ate his regular food like no one's business.
The Positive - Blue is fine.

Yep, It's been quite a week.
I've struggled, I'll be honest.
I've gotten upset over the fact that I've only made a small dent in my clutter
and my vacation isn't very far away and I was feeling myself slipping.
I would forget to put it out to The Universe and to believe it.

But Hey! It will all work out because I'm focused again
and I'm SCREAMING it out to The Universe.
Things might take a while to come around but come around it will!

and then I read Tammy's latest post, about all those people losing everything in those horrible fires in Canada.

Whoa. What a reality check.
I'm so fortunate!
and I could hear my Dad's voice in my head.
His words he would always say to me when I would start to complain about anything.
Yep, I can hear my Dad telling me to "Quit your belly-aching!"

So I'm quitting my belly-aching.
I'm putting it out to The Universe.
I know everything will be fine and turn out as I dream.
But I just wanted to share all my Negatives
in case someone else is having a week that sucks.
There are Positives.
We just have to remember to look for them
and to THINK Positive
and count our BLESSINGS!
XOXOXOXOXO

A LOT HAPPENED THIS WEEK!

I could break this down into several posts but
I won't.
It seems to work better for me to post a weekly post,
at least for now.
So, what happened?
Well....
My sister's dog Olive had puppies!

To be honest, I'm always torn about puppies,
knowing that there are so many dogs out there that need homes but
her older Husky "Nuka" was getting up there in age and when they adopted Olive a year and half ago the plan had always been to have puppies so they could continue his lineage.
It just happened sooner than they expected.
I won't go into the whole story but... things happened and BAM!
Olive was pregnant.

Luckily for them and the puppies, Olive delivered them easily and instantly went into momma mode.
It's amazing how Olive knew what to do and from what I've been told at the clinic, not all dogs are natural mothers.
She ended up having 7 puppies!
4 boys and 3 girls.
Stay tuned for a lot of puppy photos in posts!
LOL!

Also this week my niece Lily turned 21!

How did this happen?
I mean last week she was six!

I wish time wouldn't go so fast.

Another bit of good news.
I had a woman buy one of my prints that was at the clinic, that looked like her Goldendoodle.
But I didn't have one of her other dog, a Westie, so she asked if she could bring her Westie in
and have me take his photo and then do an altered photo of him.
So I did -

I also did an altered photo of Lily's little dog and her two cats as part of her birthday gifts to her.

Oh, I also turned in my letter for a request for a raise.
I tried to focus on it, using the Law of Attraction and...
it worked.
I mean, it worked to as how I was thinking.
Got to be careful how you think! LOL!
I requested an amount that I considered GOOD and fair.
As I contemplated the amount, I couldn't help think how happy I would be to get it.
And how if I got that amount, there was even the hidden fear that I wouldn't be as motivated to do my Art.
Then I thought about how if I got...

NOTHING.
Well, it had been three years since my last raise and I had taken on a lot more responsibilities and if I got nothing, well...

that would force my hand.
Then I thought about an amount I COULD live with but still be driven to do something more.
To concentrate on my Art and my books and...
The Universe listened and that's what I got.
Yep.

Sigh.

I have found lately that the power of positive thinking is working.
I have caught myself so many times, starting to think negative and catching myself.
I have had several "dips" this week, going up and down.
It's a struggle but the goal is to eventually just be positive and have faith that all will turn out as it should.

On that note, I have been having pain on my side and above the belly button area.
Nothing internal but rather it feels as though I have a bad sunburn but there's no rash, no bruise, nothing.

I'm not going to the doctor.

Everyone at work thinks I should but I'm going to ride it out.
My sister, who works in hospital, agrees with me.
We both think it might be residual effects of Shingles that I had several years ago.
I had them on the same side just higher up.
It feel like that, like a burn, only there's no rash or redness.
I'm going to remain positive and focus on other things and one day I will wake up and it will be gone.
In full disclosure, I've done that with many ailments and it's worked.
(I must admit that passing a bladder stone several years ago just about killed me! But Hey! looked at the money I saved by not going to the hospital! LOL!)
OK, anyway....

Back to the LOA-

The other day I was talking with someone and she brought up someone else who we have discussed before.
In the past, we have been envious, maybe jealous is a better word for this person's good fortune.
She hasn't had to really struggle for much and she's reaped amazing things.
She's traveled many times to Europe and gone fabulous places in the USA
and it all just falls into her lap.
Things seem to always work out for her.

So as her current adventure was being brought up and the conversation started to go on about how unfair it was, I interrupted and said -
"We should feel happy for her. Happy for her good fortune, for the opportunity that she's going to have and then we should feel happy and positive for ourselves because something good is going to come our way too!"
"But it never does!" is the response I got and to which I replied
"That's the problem, instead of feeling happy, The Universe is tuning into how we feel that nothing happens to US like that. So the Universe gives us more of nothing. If we instead focus on gratitude for what we do have and what is in OUR future, The Universe will bring us that instead!"
I could see the frustration in her face.
I know it's hard to change and she said as much.
"But this is how I've felt my whole life! That crap just keeps happening to me!"
I nodded and said "Yes, but you can change it. It's hard but you can. Some days you will forget it and start feeling bad but you have to STOP yourself and be grateful. I tell you it's not easy but you can do it."

The other day I started to feel sucked in again by mean people.

People who always have something to complain about.
People who always want to repeat a mean story or make someone else feel bad.
People who would rather scowl and frown and grumble and it's hard not to be upset.

I started thinking negatively but then I remembered- 

and I started to think about the NICE people I do know.
People that are funny and make me happy to be around.

Yep, it's not easy but it's so worthwhile.
And... if people don't want to even try to focus on something good,
then maybe it's best to stay away from those people as much as possible.
At least I'm gonna try to do that!

Finally, the decluttering continues.
Boy, I have a lot of crap!
I've focused a lot on outside stuff, yard things and such
but now I'm working on inside things.
So much to do!

I'll leave you with this image.
While I type this post.
My Blue naps.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
XOXOXOXOXO

YOU DESERVE BETTER and THE DETAILS

It's been a great week!

and nothing has changed except my attitude!

In fact I've had some people who are doing their best to sabotage me...

just for the fun of it I guess.

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They must have their reasons but instead of wasting my time trying to figure out exactly why,

I've just making sure that I dot my I's and cross my T's and 

that's all I can really do anyway, so why let it nag at me and ruin my day.

Besides...

Now that I know that my life is changing, 

I just don't care!

I'm excited and pumped!

I really haven't even done much work on ME yet,

but I'm feeling so much better.

Mostly this week I've thought about what "I" wanted and in DETAIL.

Sharon left a comment about thinking about it in detail

and before this I've had many MANY ideas but never a nailed down SURE thought.

I met my best friend for breakfast the other morning.
It's something we always try to do every other week.

We have the greatest of talks

and energize each other.

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But now with my reinvention plan, I found I had bigger plans 

than we have ever discussed.

And I realized that my past thoughts had always been smaller.

Kinda held down by what and how other people viewed me and how I viewed myself.

My friend has always been my biggest cheerleader

but I think I surprised her by wanting more than I ever had before.

In the past I felt kinda guilty about wanting too much.

I mean, I should be happy with what I have, it's more than many people have.

I have a job and shelter and food on the table.

She's always thought in terms of what seemed possible for me

given the fact that  I don't have a high paying profession or a mate.

She's always encouraged me to think out of the box though,

but now I want to throw away the box!

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And still, there's a part of me that thinks... How dare I.

Does this make sense?

It's like whenever I buy something, I'm always quick to tell everyone how I researched it to death

and what a deal I got on it, how it will better my life and be a wise decision in the long run.

It's like I feel guilty doing something nice for myself,

for treating myself well... like I don't deserve it.

Here's an example.

Last December I got rid of my van.

My best friend AND my sister both had told me that I should drive it into the ground

and to keep it as long as possible.

I initially agreed with them.

I mean why get another vehicle if the van still ran?

Who was I to want something better?

I should be happy to have a vehicle to get me form point A to B.

But here's the thing.

It was 10 years old and I had pretty much replaced every single thing on it except the transmission.

And... it was rusting out.

I had gone and bought this bonding agent stuff that I saw on the Internet and I sanded down the rust.

When I sanded down the big spot, a hole gave way.

I filled it in with that putty type bonding stuff and built it up.

I layered it and swirled it on like frosting and then sanded it smooth and primed it and sprayed it with paint.

Thank god it was White and I didn't have to worry about matching colors.

And it looked sorta OK.

If you didn't look right at the spot...

But I would drive that thing on the highway and feel unsafe.

It had a loud rattle and I felt like I was in a big tin pop can.

And... truth be told, when I walked out to it and looked at it, I hated it..

But my last van payment was November and I had visions of paying down bills.

I'd be stupid to get another vehicle.

On my lunch hour, I started researching cars though.

I had decided on two car makers.

Either a Toyota or a Honda.

Both seemed to last forever.

So whenever the different dealerships were closed, 

I'd drive through the lots and look at the cars.

Finally, I decided I wanted a Honda.

Then I decided I wanted a Honda Civic.

Then I decided I wanted  it to be Blue, or maybe Black or possible Red.

Then I decided on BLUE. not navy, not light blue, but BLUE.

I could see it in my mind, although I hadn't really seen it anywhere.

Then I decided I  also wanted a sun/moon roof.

I had one in the car before the van and Blue always enjoyed sticking his head out of the top.

I didn't want NEW. That's not a good value. you lose money as soon as you drive off the lot.

The value takes a HUGE drop.

But I wanted low mileage because this car needed to last forever.

So I had the details down... 

Then one day on my lunch break, I drove through a drive-through for lunch.

It was raining and  trying to snow.

Slushy rain.

I placed my order and put my window back up but the rubber came away from the top of he window

and water started dripping in on me.

As I sat there, trying to shove the rubber back in place as I

got more cold and wet, when a voice in my head said

"You deserve better than this!"

When I got back to work, I sat down at my desk with my lunch and looked at the car dealerships online.

Another car had been added since the last time I looked.

A 2012 BLUE Honda Civic with sun/moonroof and under 22,000. miles.

It was at the dealership I had bought my van from many years ago.

The salesman still sent me monthly emails so I searched my old emails and answered the last one back.

Was he working that night?

He answered quickly, Yes! He was!

I quickly called my credit union so that I knew what the car was worth and what kind of loan I could get.

So, after work I test drove the blue car and also an Accord, just to compare.

The Civic had been just been turned in by a nurse who had it on lease.

Leased cars are required to maintained in compliance with the leasing terms.

The mileage was so low because she worked alot and never went anywhere or so the salesman told me.

The salesman actually knew her and had been the one to lease it to her originally.

He said she turned it in because the lease was up and she was getting another new vehicle to lease.

So I bought the Honda Civic

In that special blue color that I envisioned.

It's kinda pearlized.

When I walk up to my car now, I smile.

Yes, I have car payments but they are actually less than my van payments were.

I feel safe in that car and I have a 5 yr warranty that makes me feel secure.

Now I no longer mind driving.

I used to want to move closer to work because I hated driving the van

and although I still hate battling bridge traffic and construction, the car makes it bearable.

So there ya go.

Once again I feel the need to explain myself to anyone who comments on my car.

I couldn't just say to anyone that I wanted a better car.

How indulgent, frivolous, foolish and selfish of me.

Yep... I need to think better of myself.

I need to feel like I deserve it.

I need to do this, to open my heart up so that I can send it out to the Universe

and make my new life happen.

So...I guess the two biggest points that I'm trying to make here are

1. We deserve better, it's ok to want better. 

2. Get the details down and put it out to the Universe.

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TORNADO, FIRE, a CAT and a DOG and STUFF.

I need to write a post......

I have so many things swirling in my head

and don't know where to start.

I've just been thinking about so many things.

About... life.

About how I spend my time.

About my level of Happiness.

How I have such a list of what I want to do

and NEED to do.

And I always feel guilty if I don't do all that I need to do.

Spring was arrived.

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In little bursts of warmth

but the nights are still cold.

But soon I can start building my fence!

I'm not sure where to place it... but that's for a different post.

So anyway,

I had breakfast with a friend

The one that accomplishes so much in a day

and she shocked me when she said she was tired.

Tired of doing it all.

That she just wanted her life to be simplified.

How she wouldn't mind moving from her home to a smaller house or

possibly even a condo with no yard.

Her house is so pretty and her yard landscaped perfectly!

I was so surprised.

She said she was tired of spending so much time on it.

I told her how I too thought that I resented working out in the yard

because it took time away from all the other things I needed to be doing and creating.

But I said that I also found it incredibly calming.

Like meditation.

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But even if I was working hard outside, I felt stressed that I should be doing something else.

She understood but said that she didn't enjoy it at all.

So I could see why she would want to move.

We got to talking about how we used to shake our heads at people who hired others

to do their cleaning and yard work and home improvements

and how we never understood why someone would spend money when they could do it themselves.

Both of us have always scraped together our pennies for everything but

suddenly we understood why others did it...

The other day a tornado touched down, not here

but not far from here either.

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We have warnings every Spring but we are almost always lucky.

They kept showing photos of the destruction that the high winds had done locally.

There was a storage place where units were knocked over and blown about.

I couldn't help notice the one that was mostly just knocked off of its footings.

You could see the contents still inside.  

It was packed to the ceiling.

Not in some orderly boxed fashion but stuff just jammed in a huge pile.

I thought about how someone was paying for all that STUFF to just sit piled up in there.

Why?

And why do I have STUFF in my basement? Still!

Furniture, wood, things I'm going to USE someday.

Things I'm going to paint and improve and make BIG money on... someday.

And things in Rubbermaid containers that someone will want to buy... someday,

in a shop online that I have never opened

or in a garage sale that I would dread having.

I'm no better, not really.

I mean, OK I haven't rented space for my STUFF and it's more organized but....

Then they showed where the tornado had hit.

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People devastated over their destroyed homes and lost belongings.

I can't even imagine how horrible and tragic that would be. 

My house means the world to me

and my home has so many things that have deep meaning to me.

Things my nieces have made me and a few cherished items from my past.

They talked to a man who said at least everyone got out alive in his family and how

that was the important thing

and he's right.

Two people in the town lost their lives and many were injured.

If a tornado were to ever hit my home, my animals would be my only concern

I would not be worried about anything else inside of it.

Then they talked to a woman who looked to be about my age.

She was saying how devastating it was and how thankful she was that no one had been hurt.

Then she hesitated and said that it was kinda "cleansing".

To be rid of everything.

I'm sure that many people would be very critical of her words, but I got what she was trying to say.

A while back I was watching "The Talk" and Marie Osmund was a guest.

Somehow they got onto the topic of having a lot of STUFF.

She said that when her parents had passed, she had put everything of theirs into a garage to save.

One day the garage caught fire and she lost everything they had left behind.

The ladies of The Talk started to offer her sympathy and she shook her head.

She stated that the fire had done something that she was unable to do herself 

and therefore it wasn't necessarily a bad thing...except for the photos.

The other day I was standing in my kitchen trying to FINALLY decide whether to paint my red china hutch white or black.

A long time ago my kitchen had a lot of red but not any longer.

I decided that black would probably be the right choice.

It would balance with the black shelf above the sink

and the black framed photos resting on it

and the dark clock above it.

I stood back and stared at the shelf and other things.

I was in deep thought about it.

My house is a 100 years old and the walls are plaster and lath.

When you drive a screw or nail into them, you can hear the plaster fall behind the wall.

The shelf has always be a precarious thing.

So I stood there and suddenly for no reason,

Ghost leaping onto the edge of the sink and knocked the shelf off the wall.

(Ghost on my red china hutch)

The little ceramic leaf that also sat on the shelf and held some jewelry fell and broke.

I gathered up everything quickly and turned and looked at the space.

Suddenly it seemed clear and clean and more spacious.

I looked over at the china hutch, maybe I could paint it white!

So... I don't need a a horrific event like a tornado, a fire or 

even my sweet cat to change things in my life.

Maybe I need to stop looking at everything in my life as what it COULD be

and just BE.

And stop focusing on the money I spent in the hopes of bringing in more.

Or creating/ painting with an eye always on how to make some cash.

I know that the Law of Attraction is that if you focus on something it will happen.

If you think it, it will be so.

They say if you keep thinking "I won't be late, I won't be late"

The Universe will just focus on the "being late" part, and you will be late.

If you instead think, I will be on time, then you will be on time.

It's the focus on the good positive and not the negative.

Which I think is the answer whether you believe in The Universe and Law of Attraction or not.

Sigh, I don't know.

I'm just thinking out loud or rather blogging out loud.
I've talked about this STUFF so many times
and I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow.
I frustrate myself.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks,

but we all know that's not true.

It's just finding the energy to do it all.

(Blue is exhausted too.)